Parents buying out my brothers x wife from the house

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm going to tell you something that may shatter your entire world. I hope you're sitting.

Life isn't fair. It's not equitable. It's not even. It doesn't even pretend to be.

So now you know.

Your brother is going through a tough time. Trust me, even when it seems like a winning proposition, there are very few rewards about going through a divorce.

Your parents buying out the ex makes a lot of sense as it keeps your brother in the house. If there are children, it keeps them in the house. He doesn't need to liquidate equity to pay her off, plus real estate fees, legal fees, etc. coming to that kind of financial arrangement early on saves a lot of heartache down the road and keeps your brother on better financial footing.

You don't know his arrangement with them. Maybe it's a loan that will be paid back. Maybe they will have partial legal title to the house as an asset. Maybe they will take it out of inheritance. Maybe they think by helping him now, it will save him needing their help later. Maybe, they just feel really like giving him the money.

But regardless... It's none of your business. And if you want to complain about fair, you should refer to my first point. Life isn't fair.
You should be happy you come from a family that helps out when there is a NEED.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would talk to your parents if you have that type of relationship with them, and ask them if the buy out is a loan. It isn't pleasant to have these discussions but it will prevent resentment from building.

Possibly even have your brother there during the conversation.

We have the type of family that discusses these issues with each other.

I completely agree with this. What her parents choose to do with their money is of absolutely no concern of OP's, nor are the circumstances of her brother's divorce. In fact, I find her petty scorekeeping to be disgusting.

Only look in someone else's bowl to be sure that person has enough, OP.

Sheesh.

Love this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Here. My parents have plenty of money and the only reason that I am upset is they always throw it in my face that they have to be fair and give equal amounts of money to all of us including my youngest brother. They also tell us that they are not giving us money because my one brother is an F-UP! Then they turn around and give buy his x wife out of the house so he can own it by himself.

Perhaps they are treating you equally, and when you get your divorce they'll bail you out too.

[Anonymous]

Either MYOB or give your parents a short note stating that you do not want to prevent the event, but would hope that consideration could be given in the future to even-out the distribution of assets. That's is, that's all. I would state what the amount is in your letter if you know. It's going into real estate so it will be a non-liguid asset so even if they were to offer you an amount, they might offer you slightly less.

Anyway, it's not unreasonable for you to express your thoughts. Do it in a paragraph or two. And then forget it. And that means not resenting your brother. It's totally your parents decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Either MYOB or give your parents a short note stating that you do not want to prevent the event, but would hope that consideration could be given in the future to even-out the distribution of assets. That's is, that's all. I would state what the amount is in your letter if you know. It's going into real estate so it will be a non-liguid asset so even if they were to offer you an amount, they might offer you slightly less.

Anyway, it's not unreasonable for you to express your thoughts. Do it in a paragraph or two. And then forget it. And that means not resenting your brother. It's totally your parents decision.

If I got a note like that from my child, they would probably be disinherited and I would be deeply ashamed for having raised such a greedy person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Either MYOB or give your parents a short note stating that you do not want to prevent the event, but would hope that consideration could be given in the future to even-out the distribution of assets. That's is, that's all. I would state what the amount is in your letter if you know. It's going into real estate so it will be a non-liguid asset so even if they were to offer you an amount, they might offer you slightly less.

Anyway, it's not unreasonable for you to express your thoughts. Do it in a paragraph or two. And then forget it. And that means not resenting your brother. It's totally your parents decision.

If I got a note like that from my child, they would probably be disinherited and I would be deeply ashamed for having raised such a greedy person.

+1000!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Either MYOB or give your parents a short note stating that you do not want to prevent the event, but would hope that consideration could be given in the future to even-out the distribution of assets. That's is, that's all. I would state what the amount is in your letter if you know. It's going into real estate so it will be a non-liguid asset so even if they were to offer you an amount, they might offer you slightly less.

Anyway, it's not unreasonable for you to express your thoughts. Do it in a paragraph or two. And then forget it. And that means not resenting your brother. It's totally your parents decision.

If I got a note like that from my child, they would probably be disinherited and I would be deeply ashamed for having raised such a greedy person.

+ 1,000

[Anonymous]

DCUM - The M stands for MONEY!

[Anonymous]

That sucks. Your parents are setting you and your other siblings up for some nasty relations by throwing money at your brother's problem like that.

[Anonymous]

Grow up
Your brother may actually be a screw up
And your parents enablers.
Just thank goodness you know better and do better.
You sound like a 9 ur old

[Anonymous]

OP, I get it.

My brother is also going through a divorce, and my parents are pretty much bailing him out financially too. In his case, the ex wife is still in the house, but my parents are paying for my brother's extremely nice luxury apartment.

This is my brother's second divorce (previous marriage last 2 years, this one less than 4). In his last divorce, my brother could no longer be on the same cell phone plan as his ex wife so he went on my parents. 8 years (and another marriage!) later he is still on their cell phone plan (he is 36 years old!)
Ok, no big deal except my parents are constantly throwing it in my face whenever they or my brother get the newest version iphone. Meanwhile, I'm still using my non smart phone on the most basic plan because I can't afford better.

So, I'm sorry OP. I can get why it bothers you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get it.

My brother is also going through a divorce, and my parents are pretty much bailing him out financially too. In his case, the ex wife is still in the house, but my parents are paying for my brother's extremely nice luxury apartment.

This is my brother's second divorce (previous marriage last 2 years, this one less than 4). In his last divorce, my brother could no longer be on the same cell phone plan as his ex wife so he went on my parents. 8 years (and another marriage!) later he is still on their cell phone plan (he is 36 years old!)
Ok, no big deal except my parents are constantly throwing it in my face whenever they or my brother get the newest version iphone. Meanwhile, I'm still using my non smart phone on the most basic plan because I can't afford better.

So, I'm sorry OP. I can get why it bothers you.

OMG, you are too damn old to be keeping score like this. Your parents obviously like your brother better since they gave him a better cell phone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get it.

My brother is also going through a divorce, and my parents are pretty much bailing him out financially too. In his case, the ex wife is still in the house, but my parents are paying for my brother's extremely nice luxury apartment.

This is my brother's second divorce (previous marriage last 2 years, this one less than 4). In his last divorce, my brother could no longer be on the same cell phone plan as his ex wife so he went on my parents. 8 years (and another marriage!) later he is still on their cell phone plan (he is 36 years old!)
Ok, no big deal except my parents are constantly throwing it in my face whenever they or my brother get the newest version iphone. Meanwhile, I'm still using my non smart phone on the most basic plan because I can't afford better.

So, I'm sorry OP. I can get why it bothers you.

OMG, you are too damn old to be keeping score like this. Your parents obviously like your brother better since they gave him a better cell phone!

They never gave me any cell phone. They don't have to. I'm an adult and am responsible for paying my own way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Here. My parents have plenty of money and the only reason that I am upset is they always throw it in my face that they have to be fair and give equal amounts of money to all of us including my youngest brother. They also tell us that they are not giving us money because my one brother is an F-UP! Then they turn around and give buy his x wife out of the house so he can own it by himself.

I'm sure that if your own life got turned upside down and blasted apart your parents would be right there helping you to put the pieces back together. Be glad that you don't need that type of help. Have some empathy for your brother and for your parents....it's not about you.

[Anonymous]

You're greedy, OP.

I do understand but don't agree with your conclusion. In a similar situation, I was just glad that my parents had the means to take care of my sister and get her away from the asshole. The best thing she did was get out of that marriage and I'm glad that he's gone. My parents have never worried about the concept of treating us all equally, but they address our needs and concerns the best that they can whenever something arises. My brother and I have done better in life than my sister and she gets the bulk of their money. And we're pretty happy for that because we don't need it and she does. I love my sister and am glad that my parents can take care of her even when she's f'ed up her life in many ways and can't take care of herself.