He called me a bitch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here now. I get where everyone is coming from. Up until now he has never called me a bad name. I haven't replied back and I'm still on the fence if I will. It's upsetting because I am a relationship girl. I get attached and when I give my best, I give my all. I really do like him and he seems so perfect. He is everything I want in a guy ( besides the name calling) and he said " you are so perfect for me, or you are my perfect match".

I wasn't breaking up with as much as I was asking for a break and our relationship to slow down. He wanted to be exclusive very quickly and has already been asking about wedding rings and talking about us getting married and how he had a dream about our child would look. I want marriage and children but not for several years ( which he claims too). I told him I felt we needed to slow down and possibly take a breakup because we are moving too fast. That is when he got upset and started saying I was playing him. He knows me better than myself and I won't wait that long for marriage or kids ( ideally, 4-5 more years). I then told him that I was ending the relationship because he clearly wants those things before I do and I don't want to stand in the way of that. After pleading with me to not break up, I told him I had to think about things and left. He called immediately ( didn't answer) and then resorted to texting me a bunch of cute texts I had sent and pictures of us. He texted how hurt he was and he doesn't understand why I would waste his time and throw away a good thing. After sending a dozen texts and calling twice, he texts " You clearly were using me and wasted my time. We could've had a great life together but I am glad I learned now how much of a bitch you are. I dodged a bullet." Then he wrote me all today apologizing for calling me a bitch and blamed it on him being " hurt and angry".

I am not sure what a "relationship girl" is but it sounds like you want to be in a relationship all the time with someone and that seems to contradict the rest of your post because that is what this guy was suggesting but you passed. He obviously isn't your perfect match.

[Anonymous]

Yeah the whole dynamic is messed up. I also know where you are coming from OP. I had a bad childhood, watching a bad marriage, and had no clue how to deal with men in a healthy way. Learn fast from our mistakes, please. Save yourself years of drama and heartache. It's best to leave this guy permanently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally wouldn't necessarily end it over him calling me a bitch. I'm not always the nicest person in the heat of the moment and when we were younger DH and I threw around a name or two (we both grew up in dysfunctional families and it took some time to learn to communicate). However, the rest of it is not something to overlook. Hounding you about marriage and kids after 4 months, when you obviously don't feel the same way? Your initial instincts were right. Something is off about this guy and you are better off without him.

+1

And I'll add that you should definitely run from any man who tells you he knows you better than you know yourself. WTH?

He is way too controlling. End it.

[Anonymous]

Controlling, rushing, texting and calling multiple times and hour, name calling. These are red flags. You should get out. He has abusive tendencies. If you go back to him, you will look back on this moment when you had a chance to walk away and regret that you did not follow your instincts.

Find a friend in real life, put yourself on an accountability plan with her, and stay away from this guy.

[Anonymous]

Have you posted here before OP?
Ask yourself why such a 'perfect' guy would be pushing marriage and kids so soon. Not that you aren't wonderful, but it's not wise to be willing to make that kind of commitment so young and to someone you barely know.
He is manipulating you. Playing hurt and sad, trying to make you feel guilty, then lashing out in anger and then apologizing. If you say nothing I guarantee he will go back to anger again.
Leave him. There will be other men.

[Anonymous]

Is this the same person who uses too many quotation marks who makes up these stupid threads about bad men and the woman who doesn't want to leave him?

[Anonymous]

PP here. The incoherency is posting while distracted. Apologies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd break up with him for misusing "of" instead of have. You're better off.

snork! +1

I have to say, in all seriousness, you ducked a bullet OP. As the traffic court judge told me when the cop was a now-show: go buy a lottery ticket...today is your lucky day!

He's revealed his real self on the way out the door.

[Anonymous]

As a woman, I really and truly hate that term.

Even more so when a man calls me that.

Considering you have only been together for four months, and he already called you that term.

Leave him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I told him our relationship was over."
"I wasn't breaking up."

WTF? If you told him your relationship was over when it wasn't, then "bitch" might not be too far off the mark.

You know how many times I've told my wife our relationship was over when it wasn't? Zero.

I explained that I intitially only asked for some space and possibly a break. After the fight I told him it was over. Asking for space is not breaking up and I did not deserve to be called a bitch.

[Anonymous]

I have no posted here. I became aware of this site last night while searching where to post.

[Anonymous]

We've only heard your side of the story and we don't know if it was you or him who said "of instead of have." it is possible that he was correct in his assessment of you and he dodged a bullet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We've only heard your side of the story and we don't know if it was you or him who said "of instead of have." it is possible that he was correct in his assessment of you and he dodged a bullet.

Even if he was, a decent human being doesn't use that language. If you can't treat those you are mad at with respect, you need to do some self-improvement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Controlling, rushing, texting and calling multiple times and hour, name calling. These are red flags. You should get out. He has abusive tendencies. If you go back to him, you will look back on this moment when you had a chance to walk away and regret that you did not follow your instincts.

Find a friend in real life, put yourself on an accountability plan with her, and stay away from this guy.

For crying out loud, you have only dated him for four months, GET OUT!

[Anonymous]

I'm a little disturbed that your "quotes" of his texts have changed.