How to address a manager who crosses work-life boundaries

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And for those of you who did not seem to get it, the agendas and materials were already sent out when I sent out meeting requests. I sent an email before work hours with the status of the day's events and any meeting materials. I confirmed I was home and would not be attending any calls or events as I was ill. What is the point of a sick day if you all think you should be working? How would one ever recover or get well?

You can work on your lap top in bed can't you? Depends on what you have, I guess. I mostly only get bad colds or stomach bugs. Had strep once. I don't go in because I don't want to be that asshole infecting everyone else. But I can still do my work. There's nothing wrong with my brain. You can do work in between heaves or blowing your nose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You've been home sick all week? You need to be able to provide some updates. I'd be irritated if I was your boss.

+1

[Anonymous]

My boss calls me and others in the various offices when she is on Sick Leave and Travel Status. A lot. It drives us crazy. The calls seem to be when she is bored and are totally unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And for those of you who did not seem to get it, the agendas and materials were already sent out when I sent out meeting requests. I sent an email before work hours with the status of the day's events and any meeting materials. I confirmed I was home and would not be attending any calls or events as I was ill. What is the point of a sick day if you all think you should be working? How would one ever recover or get well?

You can work on your lap top in bed can't you? Depends on what you have, I guess. I mostly only get bad colds or stomach bugs. Had strep once. I don't go in because I don't want to be that asshole infecting everyone else. But I can still do my work. There's nothing wrong with my brain. You can do work in between heaves or blowing your nose.

Staying at home and working when sick in order to not infect others is the same as telecommuting.

However, sick leave means that an employee is unavailable. Some employees/bosses choose to personally modify their own sick leave in order to be on call when needed but that is a personal call and not the rule nor should it be.

Employees should not be tethered to email, cell phones and conference calls when they are on sick leave for a few days, not to mention that it's nobody's business if they have a mild illness or a severe one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys sound like jerks. I have been home sick since Monday. I sent my boss a status report on Monday morning. I delegated meetings to other team members and sent emails for meetings I was going to miss. But when I said I was sick, I was not well enough to be checking email, typing up reports, etc. I don't try to take the easy way out. But I think it is ridiculous to contact someone who is out sick about non urgent issues. I feel like my boss is a control freak.

I am not calling in or checking emails. Like I said, she was texting me on my personal cell. We only have cell phones and not a home phone so it was buzzing and I checked it.

I've been a manager and team leader before and you shouldn't have all heck break out because a staffer is out three days. It happens sometimes.

I haven't taken any leave except my maternity leave in over a year.

Assuming you took fmla, that's 12-16 weeks of leave in the past year. Yes, it's important, and yes, you are entitled to it, but you were out of the office for one quarter to one third of the past year. Not a strong argument.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Idk it's hard for me to imagine. I'm in the private sector and I'm expected to work on sick days (answer all or most emails, take certain calls, monitor the markets and my stocks, etc.). To be frank, I've always done it because I'm only screwing myself if I let work pile up. The rest of the world stop turning just because you're out sick or on vacation. Obviously I wouldn't do this if I was on death's door. But if I'm out because of a stomach bug, for instance, yeah, I'm on my blackberry between heaves, lol.

This is really normal in the private sector. Especially the higher up the ranks you go. At the top, theres really no such thing as a sick day (or vacation or anything else for that matter).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a big difference between "working when sick" and being courteous to those in the office who have to pick up your work when you are out.
Anyone logical knows the difference between the two.

While I wouldn't ask anyone to work when sick, if someone on my team is out sick and we have a call/meeting/crisis of some kind, and the only person with the knowledge is out sick, we text them to ask for help. I've never had a single person complain and I have never complained. Everyone happily helps out. Frankly if its their project they would rather be asked so you don't screw up their work.

There's a difference between a career and a job. If you are out sick and your job is to work at starbucks as a barista, no one is expecting you to "work while sick". If you have a career, its a career. Its part of your life. A "sick day" does not mean you cease to exist.

I do the same on my end when I am out. I certainly am not available all day and answering emails if I am deathly ill, but if I can be helpful and I can manage it, I am happy to help out my staff.

Disagree. Being available when sick should not be an expectation. As an occasional courtesy, yes but employees should not feel pressure to be "on call" just because their corporate culture advocates it.

The main point in unplugging when sick, is to get well quick--out of the office and away from various job-related interruptions.

Its your opinion-many firms feel differently. Find a new job where the culture fits your philosophy. That's all.

(ps-good luck with that.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous Idk it's hard for me to imagine. I'm in the private sector and I'm expected to work on sick days (answer all or most emails, take certain calls, monitor the markets and my stocks, etc.). To be frank, I've always done it because I'm only screwing myself if I let work pile up. The rest of the world stop turning just because you're out sick or on vacation. Obviously I wouldn't do this if I was on death's door. B[b wrote:ut if I'm out because of a stomach bug, for instance, yeah, I'm on my blackberry between heaves, lol[/b].

Funny story: I was once young and oh-so-committed to proving myself. I was out sick with the stomach bug, but agreed to do a call with my immediate boss and his (both of whom are great guys). I warned them, half jokingly, that I might need to hang up the phone quickly. And mid-way through the call, I suddenly knew I was going to be sick in a second so I said "Gotta go" and thought I hit the Off button, threw the phone, and proceeded to puke. Only had missed the off button. So yeah, my two bosses listened to me puke. Didn't realize it at the time because, well, I was sick! But later in the day I emailed my boss to say I was feeling better and thought I'd be in the next day and he emailed back to say "DO NOT APPEAR FOR 2 MORE DAYS". Took them longer to get over me being sick than it took me.

Now I know better and some days it is just right for everyone that I turn off the cell phones and focus on me.

[Anonymous]

OP, I get your frustration. I have worked for similar bosses. Thing is, they are only taking as much from you as you are allowing. At some point you have to decide if you are going to live your life by your bosses rules or your own. When you decide to live by your own rules, then you have to own that. Turn off your cell. Don't check email unless you want to. If there is something truly critical, you need to address that - maybe by notifying someone else that they need to be on point. If you get grief from your boss, you try explaining where you are coming from. And either the boss respects that and lives with it, or not. Then you have to decide if that's the right job for you.

[Anonymous]

If you were scheduled to lead something, then yes it's reasonable for the person covering for you to ask you for the materials. If you're willing to drop the ball when you get a cold, it will effect your growth prospects.

[Anonymous]

my boss does this all the time. I was traveling for work last week, got in late, late friday night. Sunday morning I get an email asking me to send comments on something by early morning morning, even though of course this is a holiday and I'm home with two preschool age kids. I don't get paid enough for this kind of all consuming crap. and its not like we have some crazy mission that will save planet earth, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys sound like jerks. I have been home sick since Monday. I sent my boss a status report on Monday morning. I delegated meetings to other team members and sent emails for meetings I was going to miss. But when I said I was sick, I was not well enough to be checking email, typing up reports, etc. I don't try to take the easy way out. But I think it is ridiculous to contact someone who is out sick about non urgent issues. I feel like my boss is a control freak.

I am not calling in or checking emails. Like I said, she was texting me on my personal cell. We only have cell phones and not a home phone so it was buzzing and I checked it.

I've been a manager and team leader before and you shouldn't have all heck break out because a staffer is out three days. It happens sometimes.

I haven't taken any leave except my maternity leave in over a year.

But...most of us said that this what we would do...exactly what you are saying that you do. So I am confused as to why we would be jerks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a big difference between "working when sick" and being courteous to those in the office who have to pick up your work when you are out.
Anyone logical knows the difference between the two.

While I wouldn't ask anyone to work when sick, if someone on my team is out sick and we have a call/meeting/crisis of some kind, and the only person with the knowledge is out sick, we text them to ask for help. I've never had a single person complain and I have never complained. Everyone happily helps out. Frankly if its their project they would rather be asked so you don't screw up their work.

There's a difference between a career and a job. If you are out sick and your job is to work at starbucks as a barista, no one is expecting you to "work while sick". If you have a career, its a career. Its part of your life. A "sick day" does not mean you cease to exist.

I do the same on my end when I am out. I certainly am not available all day and answering emails if I am deathly ill, but if I can be helpful and I can manage it, I am happy to help out my staff.

Disagree. Being available when sick should not be an expectation. As an occasional courtesy, yes but employees should not feel pressure to be "on call" just because their corporate culture advocates it.

The main point in unplugging when sick, is to get well quick--out of the office and away from various job-related interruptions.

I agree that to the extent that a person is sick or on vacation they should have the right to unplug. However, being the type of person who "unplugs" requires some planning and forethought. I am a moderate unplugger. If a person wants or needs to unplug - fine. However, depending on your job, you have to plan so that the work does not slip or you co-workers are not unduly burdened by your absence. If you are out sick but you have a report due that day, you have manage that - could mean that you delegate or ask for an extension. For me, I send an email in the morning to anyone who will be impacted by my absence (takes 10 minutes). I also make myself available mid-day, if I am physically able, to field questions that my email did not answer. As time has passed, my co-workers and my boss see how I work and they are fine with it and rarely bother me when I am out. But it took me to take the initiative and put a protocol in place for myself that I follow every time.

[Anonymous]

Whether you can totally unplug depends on what's due, how senior you are, and how debilitated you are. If you just turned in a major deliverable and don't have anything else due for a couple days, then totally unplugging is probably NBD. If you've been lead on a big event that's about to happen tomorrow and you're suddenly sick, then calling out really isn't going to go over very well - is there anyone who could truly fill in for you? On the other hand, if you're hit by a truck and suddenly unconscious, then yes everyone will scramble, piece together what they could, and make due without you - but that doesn't mean your entire team should have to do that whenever you get a cold, stomach bug, or whatever. It's not the same.

[Anonymous]

OP here. For your information, I did not take FMLA. I used my sick leave and annual leave as I'm a government employee. And can you believe that even though I had a detailee covering me, my boss still contacted me on maternity leave? And I'm not a super important person. I'm making $105K as a GS-13, which in my opinion does not constitute around the clock service. This is not "the world is going to end" work. Yes, I consider my job a career. I'm a good employee. But you know what? I was sick for three days because I felt like I could not relax or rest while I was actually sick. I'm not a person who takes leave, except for the birth of my child and a major surgery I had three years ago for a life threatening illness. I can't believe how many people feel the need to be plugged in and working 24/7. I don't think that is very healthy.