new DIL didn't like my gift :(

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DS and DIL are making babies without being married and students, you mentioned money is tight. Spending on the damn dog would be low on my priority list if it were me, but that's just me.
Yeah, I would have gotten them both GC's for themselves, but since you didn't, it was pretty shitty of your son to mention it to you. Smile graciously and say thank you like he should.
And, lesson learned for you

Not OP, but they are married and they don't have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Join the club. I too bought my new DIL a gift she didn't like and had the nerve to tell me what am I supposed to do with THAT ?

It was a crystal piece used for entertaining. I thought she would like it because they're young, have friends, just bought a new home.

I said I'm sorry, I thought it was nice. Hell I offered to take it back, get her something else but she said no, I'll find somewhere to put it.

I had to bite my tongue not to say she could stick it up her ass. That is the last gift she will ever get from me. How rude.

I'm sure you put a lot of time and effort (and money!) into finding this crystal piece for your DIL, but frankly, young people typically pull out crystal pieces when entertaining their friends, KWIM? That said, I'm sure it would look gorgeous poking out of her ass! Who TELLS someone they don't like a gift? Outside of a poorly mannered 4 year old that is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh no. Any way you could wrap up a lovely scarf and mail it to her with a Happy New Year card?

Not necessary. OP gave her a thoughtful gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DS and DIL are making babies without being married and students, you mentioned money is tight. Spending on the damn dog would be low on my priority list if it were me, but that's just me.
Yeah, I would have gotten them both GC's for themselves, but since you didn't, it was pretty shitty of your son to mention it to you. Smile graciously and say thank you like he should.
And, lesson learned for you

They are not unmarried (she is, after all, her daughter in law) and they don't have a baby. Read more closely- lesson learned for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You got a gift for the dog, not your DIL . Your son shouldn't have told you but you picked a terrible gift.

Agreed.

But your DS is a toad for saying something. He needs to learn the art of keeping his trap shut if he wants to avoid drama in married life!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You got a gift for the dog, not your DIL . Your son shouldn't have told you but you picked a terrible gift.

Agreed.

But your DS is a toad for saying something. He needs to learn the art of keeping his trap shut if he wants to avoid drama in married life!!

This. The gift was for the dog, not your DIL. That would be like getting baby clothes as a birthday gift for yourself. But your DIL shouldn't have complained about it, and your son definitely shouldn't have passed it along. Don't worry about it anymore, and from now on get her things for herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You got a gift for the dog, not your DIL . Your son shouldn't have told you but you picked a terrible gift.

Agreed.

But your DS is a toad for saying something. He needs to learn the art of keeping his trap shut if he wants to avoid drama in married life!!

This. The gift was for the dog, not your DIL. That would be like getting baby clothes as a birthday gift for yourself. But your DIL shouldn't have complained about it, and your son definitely shouldn't have passed it along. Don't worry about it anymore, and from now on get her things for herself.

Op here-I guess I am a different person, because I would actually love baby clothes as a gift. But I don't like things like jewerly or scarves, so I'm not easy to buy for I guess lol I had figured she could get some nice fancy pet stuff-I don't have pets but have noticed that there are whole stores with pet supplies and accessories. With ds it was easy to say 'your jeans were looking tired last time i saw you, so here's a gift card to get yourself some new ones'. But I would have felt weird making comment on her clothes. Next time I will get them cards to the same place or something.

[Anonymous]

20 plus years of receiving random gifts I don't want or need from my MIL (and now I also have to deal with the random and unwanted gifts she gives my kids, too), but I would never say anything but "thank you" upon receiving them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You got a gift for the dog, not your DIL . Your son shouldn't have told you but you picked a terrible gift.

Agreed.

But your DS is a toad for saying something. He needs to learn the art of keeping his trap shut if he wants to avoid drama in married life!!

This. The gift was for the dog, not your DIL. That would be like getting baby clothes as a birthday gift for yourself. But your DIL shouldn't have complained about it, and your son definitely shouldn't have passed it along. Don't worry about it anymore, and from now on get her things for herself.

Op here-I guess I am a different person, because I would actually love baby clothes as a gift. But I don't like things like jewerly or scarves, so I'm not easy to buy for I guess lol I had figured she could get some nice fancy pet stuff-I don't have pets but have noticed that there are whole stores with pet supplies and accessories. With ds it was easy to say 'your jeans were looking tired last time i saw you, so here's a gift card to get yourself some new ones'. But I would have felt weird making comment on her clothes. Next time I will get them cards to the same place or something.

Your heart was in the right place. That will shine through! In your case, this was a very thoughtful gift don't over think this! I like the idea of giving them identical gift cards to a place that they would both enjoy .

[Anonymous]

I can see both sides of it. Next time get them a joint gift it else ask your son in advance for ideas about what you should get her. It'll become easier as the years go on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:20 plus years of receiving random gifts I don't want or need from my MIL (and now I also have to deal with the random and unwanted gifts she gives my kids, too), but I would never say anything but "thank you" upon receiving them.

Absolutely. It is incredibly ungracious to tell anyone that their gift is unappreciated, no matter how much you dislike it. I thought everyone knew this. Your son and DIL acted horribly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, OP, it's a bit of a strange gift - you essentially gave a gift to your son and his dog and totally ignored your new daughter in law. Not cool. I'd suggest that you call and explain your reason for the gift.

ITA. That was pretty shitty. Why not ask DS what stores did she like to shop at, or better yet a VISA gift card she can use anywhere.

[Anonymous]

OP, I wish you were my MIL, and I would gladly give your DIL mine, at least for the holidays I have the opposite problem: every time I gave my MIL gift, she'd say: "I am only saying this because we are family, but it (the gift) looks ...cheap/not my style/useless/ what am I suppose to do with it/ tasteless...Please tell me where I can return it". I was shocked and very upset at first (ok, for several years, now I just give her money. Last night we exchanged $50 bills and were done with gift giving

[Anonymous]

Aw I think it is a nice gift and would love if my in laws gave me something like that. You didn't do anything wrong.

[Anonymous]

OP, you send an email/text/message that says "I'm sorry that you didn't appreciate the gift. I tried to find something I hoped you would enjoy, but we haven't had much chance to get to know each other. Hopefully as we get to know each other, I'll find better gifts for you. Merry Christmas."