I don't feel feminine enough for dating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Plus it makes me feel uncomfortable when a guy tells me that I'm hot and they want to sleep with me. As if I'm not good enough for anything else. I like to see if I have a connection with a guy first and if he makes me feel at ease. Which most of the time I don't because a guy wants to sleep with me on the first date.

It's not that you aren't good enough for anything else, it's that they aren't very good at dating to blurt that out right away. You are attaching negative meaning where you don't have to AND entertaining the wrong guys. Do you have a 'type'? If yes you need to change it.

[Anonymous]

You should talk to a therapist to work through these issues. You dont sound comfortable in your skin or with sexuality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should talk to a therapist to work through these issues. You dont sound comfortable in your skin or with sexuality.

Right here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should talk to a therapist to work through these issues. You dont sound comfortable in your skin or with sexuality.

I've been going to therapy since I was a freshman in high school. It's not working.

[Anonymous]

Okay OP, I was you once. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable in your own clothes, in your own skin, but you have to do just that. If you aren't a girly girl, embrace it. If you want to be one, be one.

I got married 3 years ago and my husband loves me for who I am. He didn't care about how I dressed (I wear polo shirts, jeans, and Keens mostly). Your femininity does not depend on high heels, makeup, or dresses - don't let someone tell you that it does.

If a man can't get past the packaging, he's not worth your time. Yes, it will take more time to find "the one" but I think you'll be happier when you do. I remember meeting just as many guys who were appreciative that I was real as the ones who weren't into how I dressed. They exist.

That said, you can always draw attention to yourself without makeup and jewelry. If you wear baggy stuff, consider something that highlights your curves, but that you are comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should talk to a therapist to work through these issues. You dont sound comfortable in your skin or with sexuality.

I've been going to therapy since I was a freshman in high school. It's not working.

For what issues did you go to therapy, and why are you still going?

Have you ever had a fully sexual successful relationship with a man?

The secret to successful dating is wanting to date. Your eyes, your body language need to convey your interest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently met a guy at a networking event, we hit it off and went out the next day. Obviously, as it was a first date, I dressed nicely, sweater, nice jeans and boots. so we hung out again but I wore a long cardigan and chucks. Which is pretty much my "uniform". He made a comment oabout me not having any nice jewelry. I said no. (moreso bc I can't afford it, not because I don't like it ). I haven't gotten comments on my appearance from men in the past about being a plain Jane or a tomboy. I honestly feel like men are trying to change me to someone really feminine and girly. Are there men out there that are attracted to women that are tshirt and jeans, sports loving and not

Seriously, fuck anyone who doesn't appreciate you for who are and what you do. There are a lot of aholes out there - as they say, on to the next one!

[Anonymous]

OP, it's possible this guy is just a little awkward and lacks a filter. Maybe the women he knows are girls who wear a lot of jewelry, and he was remarking that you don't have it. Maybe it's a good thing to him. (maybe his ex was a gold-digger.) Or maybe it was just an awkward observation that doesn't mean much.

I'm not that girly either. I definitely don't get hit on as much as some of my friends who are much girlier and prettier. Then again, I don't have the patience to spend 2 hours getting ready like they do. Frankly, when I'm rushing around in the morning trying to get my daughter (and myself) ready, jewelry is the last thing on my mind.

If you're low-maintenance, own it. You can look pretty in a natural way and be low-maintenance and still be very feminine. Some guys will always like girls who are higher-maintenance and maybe it's not a bad thing to weed those guys out early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should talk to a therapist to work through these issues. You dont sound comfortable in your skin or with sexuality.

I've been going to therapy since I was a freshman in high school. It's not working.

For what issues did you go to therapy, and why are you still going?

Have you ever had a fully sexual successful relationship with a man?

The secret to successful dating is wanting to date. Your eyes, your body language need to convey your interest.

I'm a bit socially awkward. Not as bad as I used to be, thanks to therapy.

I have had a long term fwb in college. he was an alcoholic, so I cut things off.