I don't feel feminine enough for dating

[Anonymous]

I recently met a guy at a networking event, we hit it off and went out the next day. Obviously, as it was a first date, I dressed nicely, sweater, nice jeans and boots. so we hung out again but I wore a long cardigan and chucks. Which is pretty much my "uniform". He made a comment oabout me not having any nice jewelry. I said no. (moreso bc I can't afford it, not because I don't like it ). I haven't gotten comments on my appearance from men in the past about being a plain Jane or a tomboy. I honestly feel like men are trying to change me to someone really feminine and girly. Are there men out there that are attracted to women that are tshirt and jeans, sports loving and not

[Anonymous]

Not into girly interests?

Sorry pressed enter soon

[Anonymous]

You said you haven't gotten comments from men in the past but do you mean that you have?
I think this guy was most confused by the seeming change in your appearance, although his comment about your lack of jewelry was quite rude, and he should be kicked to the curb for that alone. Do you do that with other guys? Start off more 'girly' and then change it up? You should get less of this if your look is more consistent.

[Anonymous]

Yes there are guys out there that will like you. It is just a matter of when you find that one.

I know I like a women that is comfortable in jeans/t-shirt/pony tail and maybe a hat once in a while. But when she is going out, she dresses up feminine a little more. Or when she is at work. But when the game is on, she can throw on a jersey and cheer with the best of them.

Being a tom-boy every day just doesn't cut it for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You said you haven't gotten comments from men in the past but do you mean that you have?
I think this guy was most confused by the seeming change in your appearance, although his comment about your lack of jewelry was quite rude, and he should be kicked to the curb for that alone. Do you do that with other guys? Start off more 'girly' and then change it up? You should get less of this if your look is more consistent.

I don't have a lot of dressy clothes. my job doesn't require them. Also, I only wear dresses during the warmer months. I can't really keep up a feminine appearance as I don't have the resources. I did make a typo. I meant to say that guys have commented on my lack of femininity previously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You said you haven't gotten comments from men in the past but do you mean that you have?
I think this guy was most confused by the seeming change in your appearance, although his comment about your lack of jewelry was quite rude, and he should be kicked to the curb for that alone. Do you do that with other guys? Start off more 'girly' and then change it up? You should get less of this if your look is more consistent.

I don't have a lot of dressy clothes. my job doesn't require them. Also, I only wear dresses during the warmer months. I can't really keep up a feminine appearance as I don't have the resources. I did make a typo. I meant to say that guys have commented on my lack of femininity previously.

If you want to dress more "feminine" you can do so at any budget. You wantto dress a little nicer when you're seeing someone because you want to show that you care about impressing him. (Dress to impress, right?) fitted jeans, flats, and a sweater don't have to be expensive, and can still look polished.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If you want to dress more "feminine" you can do so at any budget. You wantto dress a little nicer when you're seeing someone because you want to show that you care about impressing him. (Dress to impress, right?) fitted jeans, flats, and a sweater don't have to be expensive, and can still look polished.

Male here.

Funny you say that. I was with a girl this afternoon that was dressed very feminine. Amazing girl by the way but that is a different story . But in walks this girl in nice fitted jeans, flats, and sweater. I couldn't help but look. She looked amazing even though she didn't go all out trying to look fabulous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You said you haven't gotten comments from men in the past but do you mean that you have?
I think this guy was most confused by the seeming change in your appearance, although his comment about your lack of jewelry was quite rude, and he should be kicked to the curb for that alone. Do you do that with other guys? Start off more 'girly' and then change it up? You should get less of this if your look is more consistent.

I don't have a lot of dressy clothes. my job doesn't require them. Also, I only wear dresses during the warmer months. I can't really keep up a feminine appearance as I don't have the resources. I did make a typo. I meant to say that guys have commented on my lack of femininity previously.

Well if your look is pretty consistent, then you are unfortunately running into guys like the one on this thread, who won't dump a woman over clothes but feels just fine disrespecting her by staring at other women in her presence. You clearly don't want guys like that. I believe there is a lid for every pot- you can find guys that like and even prefer tomboyish girls.
Where do you meet most of the guys you date? You may need to try different places that are more reflective of your interests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently met a guy at a networking event, we hit it off and went out the next day. Obviously, as it was a first date, I dressed nicely, sweater, nice jeans and boots. so we hung out again but I wore a long cardigan and chucks. Which is pretty much my "uniform". He made a comment oabout me not having any nice jewelry. I said no. (moreso bc I can't afford it, not because I don't like it ). I haven't gotten comments on my appearance from men in the past about being a plain Jane or a tomboy. I honestly feel like men are trying to change me to someone really feminine and girly. Are there men out there that are attracted to women that are tshirt and jeans, sports loving and not

yes - in the midwest or out west.

there are tons of guys that want a girl a like you.

but the ones you probably like, in the northeast/mid atlantic - not so much.

[Anonymous]

OP, I suggest you post in the fashion and beauty forum. Tell them you want to make your wardrobe a little more jazzy, but still dress in your comfy style and stay within a limited budget (give an amount). See if they have suggestions.

[Anonymous]

And you may be attracted to the type of man that prefers women who dress up a little more.

Unless the guys you meet are all in jeans/hat/T-shirt all the time

[Anonymous]

1) Cost is not a factor in looking feminine. You choose how to spend your money--it can be on unisex or feminine clothing. Makeup and jewelry don't have to be expensive.

2) I sense that you want to be dating men, but for some psychological reason don't want to express your sexuality in your appearance?

3) You have to get over the hangup in #2. You can look sexual, without looking cheap or being uncomfortable. Find a girlfriend whose style you admire and spend a day going shopping and trying on some make up.

[Anonymous]

There are plenty of men who like outdoorsy or low-maintenance women - I've seen a number of on-line profiles specifically looking for this type of woman. So either you aren't attracting those guys, or it's that you lack self-confidence rather than femininity.

Also, there are lots of ways to be flirty and feminine when wearing a tee shirt and jeans - dangling earrings (no need for expensive ones), long hair worn down, a bit of lipstick or eye makeup, a scoop neck tee . . . . even just a sexy attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You said you haven't gotten comments from men in the past but do you mean that you have?
I think this guy was most confused by the seeming change in your appearance, although his comment about your lack of jewelry was quite rude, and he should be kicked to the curb for that alone. Do you do that with other guys? Start off more 'girly' and then change it up? You should get less of this if your look is more consistent.

I don't have a lot of dressy clothes. my job doesn't require them. Also, I only wear dresses during the warmer months. I can't really keep up a feminine appearance as I don't have the resources. I did make a typo. I meant to say that guys have commented on my lack of femininity previously.

Well if your look is pretty consistent, then you are unfortunately running into guys like the one on this thread, who won't dump a woman over clothes but feels just fine disrespecting her by staring at other women in her presence. You clearly don't want guys like that. I believe there is a lid for every pot- you can find guys that like and even prefer tomboyish girls.
Where do you meet most of the guys you date? You may need to try different places that are more reflective of your interests.

I meet most of the guys online and networking events. I hangout at a sports bar on Sundays to watch football, but I haven't had any guys from here interested in anything other than friendship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You said you haven't gotten comments from men in the past but do you mean that you have?
I think this guy was most confused by the seeming change in your appearance, although his comment about your lack of jewelry was quite rude, and he should be kicked to the curb for that alone. Do you do that with other guys? Start off more 'girly' and then change it up? You should get less of this if your look is more consistent.

I don't have a lot of dressy clothes. my job doesn't require them. Also, I only wear dresses during the warmer months. I can't really keep up a feminine appearance as I don't have the resources. I did make a typo. I meant to say that guys have commented on my lack of femininity previously.

Well if your look is pretty consistent, then you are unfortunately running into guys like the one on this thread, who won't dump a woman over clothes but feels just fine disrespecting her by staring at other women in her presence. You clearly don't want guys like that. I believe there is a lid for every pot- you can find guys that like and even prefer tomboyish girls.
Where do you meet most of the guys you date? You may need to try different places that are more reflective of your interests.

I meet most of the guys online and networking events. I hangout at a sports bar on Sundays to watch football, but I haven't had any guys from here interested in anything other than friendship

I'm glad you mentioned the sports bar- I think that's a good plan. Just be sure not to give off a 'one of the guys' type vibe- you can still flirt in a football jersey.
In your profile I think your pics and text should really reflect your low maintenance girl-next-door type style. Don't go on about liking to hit up restaurants and travel, mention your love of spending sundays in a sports bar and things like that- so guys will know what they are getting. Also, if you have any say in it, try to make your first dates more low key and not a typical situation where you'd be expected to look nicer than usual.

Alternatively, if you in fact are looking to glam up a bit maybe it's as simple as always making sure your nails are done (polished, and not just clear) or your hair is out (no pony tails)- do that one little thing to make you stand out as girlish and interested without having to change your whole wardrobe (if you don't want to).

But really I wouldn't panic. There are so many guys with so many 'types' out there, not being girly enough is no reason you should end up alone.