DH and I disagree on college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any thought to what the kids wants?

She has already announced that her goal is to be a SAHM and have 4 kids. She strongly dislikes school and studying but college is whatever is "supposed" to do so she feels there is pressure to conform. She was on the CC plan until DH mentioned the option of a 4 yr school.

As far as her ability to function on day to day things-- she does her own laundry, can make her own meals, pack her lunch, and get herself to school on time. But given the choice between cleaning the gutters and school work, gutters win. She has very poor time management skills and still requires constant reminders from me and her teachers about assignments that are due.

http://www.futurescopes.com/wealthy-dating/883/how-become-trophy-wife-marrying-someone-filthy-rich

OP here-- I don't think trophy wife is her plan nor is marrying for money. I would be happy with whomever she married as long as he respects her and treats her well. He could be a dr, lawyer, car mechanic, or plumber.

To a certain extent, I would rather give her the 4 yr college money for a down payment on a house. Her dream is a family, not a career. Like all parents I want to support her dreams. I do realize however that most jobs today require some sort of college degree. Even if it's not used in the job, the degree is a check box that needs to be met to have a job. Hence I think the CC option plus transfer will get her the check box.

[Anonymous]

Wait - we're actually OK with the idea that this girl's only plan is the man???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if the reason you think she has a 2.0 average is because: 1. She chose not to apply herself, or 2. She is not academically inclined, then I would agree with you. But you have indicated that her learning disability is a factor. A better school will have better services to help her.

Bottom line: I would send her to the best school she can get into if she has the aptitude for college and is willing to try. If she doesn't know what she wants to do, save the money and go for community college. But keep in mind, an Econ 101 class at a community college is not of the same quality as at a private 4 year school.

Not necessarily true. I come from a family if college professors. Some teach the exact same class at community college as they do the four year school. They can't believe that people pay four yeAr school prices for the same thing they can get at community college prices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if the reason you think she has a 2.0 average is because: 1. She chose not to apply herself, or 2. She is not academically inclined, then I would agree with you. But you have indicated that her learning disability is a factor. A better school will have better services to help her.

Bottom line: I would send her to the best school she can get into if she has the aptitude for college and is willing to try. If she doesn't know what she wants to do, save the money and go for community college. But keep in mind, an Econ 101 class at a community college is not of the same quality as at a private 4 year school.

Not necessarily true. I come from a family if college professors. Some teach the exact same class at community college as they do the four year school. They can't believe that people pay four yeAr school prices for the same thing they can get at community college prices.

I agree 1000%. How would anyone even know the difference unless they took the same class at two different schools? This attitude that the more you pay, the better the education is elitist baloney.

[Anonymous]

If she wants to be a mother, then perhaps she should try some childcare classes at the CC. She might find it interesting and if it clicks, could lead to an actual career. While she's taking classes, she could find a job as an assistant for a childcare provider.

[Anonymous]

If she is looking for a man, I would definitely send her to a 4 year university. How mature is she? Can she get Cs on college level work? If she is mature and can pull a C, I would send her to a university. How about education degree?

[Anonymous]

OP here-- thank you. I agree with you. C is average. 3.0 is better than average.

This makes me think the OP doesn't know (enough)

Too many unanswered questions re: this student's course of study

[Anonymous]

I just went to a talk for parents of high-schoolers with LDs or GT/LDs.

Take-away:
1. Do your research and phone disability offices of each college (not admissions office) - services very wildly!
2. Gap year before 4 year college, to mature a bit before leaving.
3. Community college, with possibility of transfer to college. However, community colleges are flooded due to economy and disability services may be overwhelmed.

[Anonymous]

I would look into her doing a gap year abroad. Cheaper than 40,000 and she would have a better idea of what she wants to do in a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP here-- thank you. I agree with you. C is average. 3.0 is better than average.

This makes me think the OP doesn't know (enough)

Too many unanswered questions re: this student's course of study

OP here---what would you like to know about her course of study--I will try to answer them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would look into her doing a gap year abroad. Cheaper than 40,000 and she would have a better idea of what she wants to do in a year.

Abroad?! What's she going to do, go to finishing school? Backpack through Paris with the trust fund kids?

[Anonymous]

My DD is a senior with some similarities. She has several LDs, a lower SAT score than your daughter, but a 3.1 GPA and a couple AP classes. She has a job and drives. She really wants to go to a 4-year college, and I think in some respects a private LAC is the best choice with small classes and more personal attention.

She has has been accepted to 2 with some merit aid, but they are still more expensive than state schools. She has also gotten into a couple state schools as well. I am surprised and grateful she has a range of choices because I wasn't sure that would happen.

I think the main difference between our daughters is motivation. Mine is really focused on having a career working with children and living on a campus. She might prefer to clean gutters to reading Edith Wharton, but she sees getting through school as a means to pursuing her goals as an adult. That's why a 4-year school might make more sense for her than your DD.

It's a hard decision and a stressful time. I hope things work out for best for her.

[Anonymous]

My niece is similar right down to being a SAHM with 4 kids. She may very well do that but let's face it, she can't know what she wants to do until she really has kids.

My niece has been attempting cc for a few years. It's slow going and in retrospect my SIL and brother say it would have been better had she gone to a 4 yr school.

They see that the culture at cc is not one focused on achievement and sometimes not even education itself. There are too many kids and adults who are there who are working first, and getting an education when they can squeeze it in.

Before settling on a cc, look at the graduation rates. Also see if there is an honors program that she could join so that she can be focused on academics.

Assure her that even with a degree, she does not need to abandon her dream of being a SAHM with 4 kids.

[Anonymous]

Early childhood education !!

Men love it!! Wife has a job and kids are no prob!! Easy on everyone!!

[Anonymous]

There are several schools that cater to LD students like myself. I was similar to your daughter and now have excelled at a top 100 school in the midwest. I have a 3.6 gpa and am going to be applying to graduate school and then medical school. My gpa in high school was a 3.1 unweighted.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/07/best-ld-programs_n_603369.html