s/o Rude or not? When you call someone to wish them Happy Birthday and they don't respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I called my best friend to wish her happy birthday and it took her THREE MONTHS to call me back. We are in our 40s. She made a very clear statement that we were no longer close so I have acted accordingly since then.

Oh man, friends like you when I'm in my 40s are such a drain of my life's blood. The call back for the Happy Birthday is onerous; it's like a thank you note for something you never asked for. People are busy--it doesn't mean they're not your friend. GROW UP. It's not 1970 any more; people have shit to do.

You're too busy to communicate in any way - in person, by text, email, return call - to any friend you have for 3 months? That's being needy? What if all your children were school age, you didn't work and you volunteered between 5 and 10 hours a week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"is it rude if they don't answer or call back?"

How is it rude if they don't ANSWER, OP? LOL

Lol. Sorry! Not what i really meant to say. I guess it just feels irksome if I take the time out of my day to pick up the phone and say Happy Birthday and they don't acknowledge it. Or is that the status quo now?

Really? You don't have 30 seconds to leave a voicemail saying "Hi Lisa, it's Julie! Just wanted to wish you a very happy birthday. Hope you're having a great day, and I can't wait to see you next month! Bye!"?

I mean, you had the 30 seconds to write your original post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I kind of hate all the birthday calls. Between work, and taking care of kids, and some sort of birthday plans (dinner out or whatever) it's a bit more than I can handle. That said, I at least try to text back 'thanks for your message. Pretty busy tonight but let's catch up soon!'. I also make a point of texting not calling friends on their birthdays for this reason, though for close friends I usually include a funny picture or video to make it more heartfelt. I wouldn't begrudge anyone who didn't call back. If you want to chat, find a good time on another day.

You don't take off work on your birthday?

Haha, no. My birthday was on a Saturday this year and I spent the day in a client meeting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's assumed you don't need to call back to happy birthday calls.

I guess I don't have many friends. If anyone called me to wish me happy birthday, I'd answer and get back to them that day or the next day. It's not like I have a dozen people calling me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"is it rude if they don't answer or call back?"

How is it rude if they don't ANSWER, OP? LOL

Lol. Sorry! Not what i really meant to say. I guess it just feels irksome if I take the time out of my day to pick up the phone and say Happy Birthday and they don't acknowledge it. Or is that the status quo now?

I usually text in these situations because I may not me in a mood for a full conversation. If I were to call to wish someone a happy birthday, I would not expect (or frankly, desire) a call back.

[Anonymous]

I think you have 2 separate issues confused here....

If you call me to wish me a happy birthday and I am out celebrating, then I might not call you back for a day or two. (or 4 in my case, since my birthday is a couple days before xmas) I don't think that is rude.

If you call me (for any reason) and I don't call back for 3 months, then perhaps you have reason to be annoyed, but I don't think it has anything to do with my birthday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"is it rude if they don't answer or call back?"

How is it rude if they don't ANSWER, OP? LOL

Lol. Sorry! Not what i really meant to say. I guess it just feels irksome if I take the time out of my day to pick up the phone and say Happy Birthday and they don't acknowledge it. Or is that the status quo now?

Really? You don't have 30 seconds to leave a voicemail saying "Hi Lisa, it's Julie! Just wanted to wish you a very happy birthday. Hope you're having a great day, and I can't wait to see you next month! Bye!"?

I mean, you had the 30 seconds to write your original post.

I know. So OP, what's she supposed to do. Call you back, get your VM.

"Hi Julie. It's Lisa. Thanks."


Then,

"Hi Lisa, It's Julie. Thanks for thanking me."

It just never ends.

A birthday wish is just that - a WISH. Not a "hey, if you have a minute give me a call back" request.

[Anonymous]

I don't like to be reminded of my birthday. Not my favorite day of the year.

I answer my parents calls, but the rest - no. If they leave a message, I generally text back and say a polite thanks but I don't want to talk on the phone all day - would rather it just pass

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's assumed you don't need to call back to happy birthday calls.

I agree.

[Anonymous]

I hate talking on the phone. I'd probably text back a thank you! I'm sure people think it's rude.

[Anonymous]

This is very enlightening, thanks. I am 49 and expect a return call when I call someone and leave a message for whatever reason. I have learned from this thread that I must explicitly say, "Have a great day! Call me back when you get a chance."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's assumed you don't need to call back to happy birthday calls.

This. The point is to wish happy birthday, either "live" or in a message. No need for the recipient to call back unless the message specifically asks for a return call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I kind of hate all the birthday calls. Between work, and taking care of kids, and some sort of birthday plans (dinner out or whatever) it's a bit more than I can handle. That said, I at least try to text back 'thanks for your message. Pretty busy tonight but let's catch up soon!'. I also make a point of texting not calling friends on their birthdays for this reason, though for close friends I usually include a funny picture or video to make it more heartfelt. I wouldn't begrudge anyone who didn't call back. If you want to chat, find a good time on another day.

You don't take off work on your birthday?

^^is this you OP? Because there's your problem. You're an adult. It's your birthday--not a national day of celebration. I think you over estimate the "magical" aspect of birthdays to a mature, emotionally intact person, so you expect some sort of grateful response.