s/o Rude or not? When you call someone to wish them Happy Birthday and they don't respond.

[Anonymous]

I kind of hate all the birthday calls. Between work, and taking care of kids, and some sort of birthday plans (dinner out or whatever) it's a bit more than I can handle. That said, I at least try to text back 'thanks for your message. Pretty busy tonight but let's catch up soon!'. I also make a point of texting not calling friends on their birthdays for this reason, though for close friends I usually include a funny picture or video to make it more heartfelt. I wouldn't begrudge anyone who didn't call back. If you want to chat, find a good time on another day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"is it rude if they don't answer or call back?"

How is it rude if they don't ANSWER, OP? LOL

Lol. Sorry! Not what i really meant to say. I guess it just feels irksome if I take the time out of my day to pick up the phone and say Happy Birthday and they don't acknowledge it. Or is that the status quo now?

Hmmm...if you are irked because all the effort you put into placing that 30 second phone call while you walked to the metro wasn't fully appreciated and acknowledged then maybe there are other reasons you aren't being called back?

Sure. But if I talk to this person multiple times a week and on this ONE day she suddenly doesn't call back then not sure how I'm supposed to take that one.

[Anonymous]

It would be polite to shoot a quick text or email to say thanks for the call. Not that hard. Personally I hate talking on the phone so that's all you'd get from me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"is it rude if they don't answer or call back?"

How is it rude if they don't ANSWER, OP? LOL

Lol. Sorry! Not what i really meant to say. I guess it just feels irksome if I take the time out of my day to pick up the phone and say Happy Birthday and they don't acknowledge it. Or is that the status quo now?

Hmmm...if you are irked because all the effort you put into placing that 30 second phone call while you walked to the metro wasn't fully appreciated and acknowledged then maybe there are other reasons you aren't being called back?

Sure. But if I talk to this person multiple times a week and on this ONE day she suddenly doesn't call back then not sure how I'm supposed to take that one.

you take it that she's busy and then forgot!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"is it rude if they don't answer or call back?"

How is it rude if they don't ANSWER, OP? LOL

Lol. Sorry! Not what i really meant to say. I guess it just feels irksome if I take the time out of my day to pick up the phone and say Happy Birthday and they don't acknowledge it. Or is that the status quo now?

Hmmm...if you are irked because all the effort you put into placing that 30 second phone call while you walked to the metro wasn't fully appreciated and acknowledged then maybe there are other reasons you aren't being called back?

Sure. But if I talk to this person multiple times a week and on this ONE day she suddenly doesn't call back then not sure how I'm supposed to take that one.

She doesn't call you back on that ONE day because she's busy. Why would you be offended if on ONE day she didn't call you back?

[Anonymous]

I figure people are busier on that particular day, no offense taken. But I would also probably text and not call.

[Anonymous]

It was her birthday, give her some leeway.

[Anonymous]

If you leave a message, "Happy Birthday, Larla! Hope you are having fun." Maybe I think it a nice wish but requires no call back? WHo knows? Perhaps other things are going on in her life, like fecal-just-hit-the-cooling-unit-type things? WHo knows? Email/txt her if you are that upset. She probably has no idea, unless you are normally this high maintenance.

[Anonymous]

OP, you will never get DCUMers to agree with you that a call deserves to be returned. This forum is filled with women who consider every form of friendly contact to be either an intrusion on their precious time or a pathetic demand for attention. Then they complain that no one called them on their birthday.

I think your friend could have acknowledged the message, but I think the content of the message matters. If you just said "Wanted to wish you a happy birthday! See you Saturday at that thing we're going to." Then I can see not acknowledging the call. If you said "Happy Birthday! Want to have lunch tomorrow to celebrate?" Then I think you are owed a response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I kind of hate all the birthday calls. Between work, and taking care of kids, and some sort of birthday plans (dinner out or whatever) it's a bit more than I can handle. That said, I at least try to text back 'thanks for your message. Pretty busy tonight but let's catch up soon!'. I also make a point of texting not calling friends on their birthdays for this reason, though for close friends I usually include a funny picture or video to make it more heartfelt. I wouldn't begrudge anyone who didn't call back. If you want to chat, find a good time on another day.

You don't take off work on your birthday?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really--this is why I HATE phone calls. People who make them always want some pound of flesh from you--it's like they're trying to extract something from you. TEXT ME, BYE

I'm sure you are under 35 years old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"is it rude if they don't answer or call back?"

How is it rude if they don't ANSWER, OP? LOL

Lol. Sorry! Not what i really meant to say. I guess it just feels irksome if I take the time out of my day to pick up the phone and say Happy Birthday and they don't acknowledge it. Or is that the status quo now?

Hmmm...if you are irked because all the effort you put into placing that 30 second phone call while you walked to the metro wasn't fully appreciated and acknowledged then maybe there are other reasons you aren't being called back?

Sure. But if I talk to this person multiple times a week and on this ONE day she suddenly doesn't call back then not sure how I'm supposed to take that one.

She's in her 40's. Maybe birthdays aren't so welcome anymore. Maybe birthdays just make her feel OLD and remind her that time is passing. Maybe she thinks you're a bit of an insensitive jerk for rubbing it in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really--this is why I HATE phone calls. People who make them always want some pound of flesh from you--it's like they're trying to extract something from you. TEXT ME, BYE

I'm sure you are under 35 years old.

Nope. 52.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I kind of hate all the birthday calls. Between work, and taking care of kids, and some sort of birthday plans (dinner out or whatever) it's a bit more than I can handle. That said, I at least try to text back 'thanks for your message. Pretty busy tonight but let's catch up soon!'. I also make a point of texting not calling friends on their birthdays for this reason, though for close friends I usually include a funny picture or video to make it more heartfelt. I wouldn't begrudge anyone who didn't call back. If you want to chat, find a good time on another day.

You don't take off work on your birthday?

I don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"is it rude if they don't answer or call back?"

How is it rude if they don't ANSWER, OP? LOL

Lol. Sorry! Not what i really meant to say. I guess it just feels irksome if I take the time out of my day to pick up the phone and say Happy Birthday and they don't acknowledge it. Or is that the status quo now?

Hmmm...if you are irked because all the effort you put into placing that 30 second phone call while you walked to the metro wasn't fully appreciated and acknowledged then maybe there are other reasons you aren't being called back?

Sure. But if I talk to this person multiple times a week and on this ONE day she suddenly doesn't call back then not sure how I'm supposed to take that one.

That she was celebrating her birthday maybe?

Nice of you to extend the birthday wishes. That's all you need to do. It doesn't require acknowledgement by the recipient of the wishes.