Oh My Lord. He's got a girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wide variation in who does what and what is done between BF/GF, hook-ups. To quote one of my kids "unless they're a nerd all the girls have already had sex at _ [school]"

14 is young for sex at some schools. Extremely rare. Later years at parties and afterparties. For kids without in-school sports afterschool there can be lots of hooking up at unsupervised houses.

Very few of my teens friends have had sex.

Yes- I would definitely tell my best friend's mom! And even if I wouldn't tell her, I know my friend wouldn't tell her. (It would make sleepovers and weekend trips with me, the oversexed teen, much less likely.)

PP- I don't think you can know this with certainty...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 15 year old son has been with the same girl since he was 13. I don't think I'm naive- and I don't think they have "done it". She has gone on vacation with us, she is like part of our family. They are both straight- A students, and they make each other happy. There ARE still good kids in this world, and I think I know two of them

I was a straight A good kid student who was happily having sex with my boyfriend. And trust me - our parents had NO idea.

A lot of good kids have sex. But you know what, we were smart about it. Smart enough that I never got pregnant.

I hope you are right that yours are not, but not all kids who have sex get bad grades and rebel against family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 15 year old son has been with the same girl since he was 13. I don't think I'm naive- and I don't think they have "done it". She has gone on vacation with us, she is like part of our family. They are both straight- A students, and they make each other happy. There ARE still good kids in this world, and I think I know two of them

I was a straight A good kid student who was happily having sex with my boyfriend. And trust me - our parents had NO idea.

A lot of good kids have sex. But you know what, we were smart about it. Smart enough that I never got pregnant.

I hope you are right that yours are not, but not all kids who have sex get bad grades and rebel against family.

Agreed - DH and I were very good kids, never got in trouble... good grades, went to colleges (separate ones, at that). We still started having sex when we were 15 - my parents didn't have the slightest clue. Luckily I didn't get pregnant until I was 25 and we actually planned it.

[Anonymous]

23:22 here. I am not stupid enough to be SURE they are not having sex...I just don't THINK they are. They are ALWAYS monitored- they spend almost every afternoon together, but I'm SAHM and we have very strict rules. No closed doors, no going to the park by themselves, etc. The kids spend most weekends together too- but if we go to the grocery store, the kids go with us. If we go to the pool, she is welcome to come along, of course- the more, the merrier- but she has to follow the family rules and they will be WATCHED. They tell me to "chill" of course, and they say that "if they wanted to they could have sex they could- at school"- apparently kids do it all the time- in bathroom stalls no less!! How gross is that!! But we have had the talk (several times) to the point of where I reminded my kid that he needed OT to learn fine motor coordination (such as how to tie his shoes) and that he may not be capable of putting on a condom correctly. I said this to him in from of GF dear. GF dear is forgetful (I can't tell you how many times we have had to backtrack to find her phone!!) and therefore incapable of taking the pill correctly- and I reminded her of this in front of my son. We have discussed combo pill/condom- at length. GF dear's mom and I have told her that "many girls take the pill for skin conditions" and that it's OK- but still, they claim to be "innocent." All I can do is hope, and pray, and continue to monitor. Oh, and I can watch 16 and pregnant on MTV with them (we do- and it's not pretty) and I can threaten them that IF they do get pregnant, and keep the baby, that their childhood as they know it is over. Focus shifts to the baby, and they are now adults. These kids have a great life- Good grades, fun times, vacations together- It's a lot to lose. I allow their relationship because I am crazy about the gf- she is like Rachel on Glee. Cute as a button, but spunky and puts my kid in his place (which is fun to watch). 15 year old relationships are not ALL bad. It's nice, as a mom, to get a glimpse of what your kids adult life may hold, and I enjoy helping my son form how he will treat women before he is old enough to shut me out. I can remind my kid that flowers are nice, but respect is more important. Of course some days I feel like Rosanne (remember on the TV show where she let Darlene's BF move in?- and oops- Darlene got pregnant) like if something happens it will be my fault for "allowing" the relationship- but kids are gonna do what kids are gonna do, and all we can do is trust them, monitor them, and hope for the best.

[Anonymous]

My child is not in a relationship. she is 13 now, but in 6th grade when she was 11 some of her friends had boyfriends. i think this is normal as long as you keep an eye on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love these threads where a mom is shocked at something their kids are doing. But, they should ask themselves WHAT THEY DID at the same age. These kids do the same things YOU did, except now they have technology (cell phones, facebook, etc,...) for good or for bad.

AAAAK if my kid does what I did i will send him to military school!

Me too. And I was a relatively good kid.