Men, Affairs, Love and Compartments

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man, I can tell you that my brain is fully equipped to:
1. screw some hot sweet thing when the opportunity arises
2. completely blank out any thoughts of wife/kids while with OW
3. totally justify this behavior (well if my wife hadn't gained 50 pounds and forgotten all about BJs.....)
4. return home to the family and not give 2 seconds thought about the OW

Amazing talent that I never thought I would have or feel entitled to.
But here I am, and I do.

I think I just found my long lost missing twin!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:this can't really be a serious question. you were the OW. you got to be fucked whenever your AP wanted to bust a nut. and you actually think he had real feelings for you despite the truth/fact that he went back to save his marriage.

please. fixing yourself is the only thing you need to worry about - and understand why you eagerly let yourself be a doormat, since you're in control of your own actions and behavior.

Look I'm not saying an affair is a good thing, but it's entirely possible the man had feelings for her. It's not always JUST sex. There's a lot in between the man leaving his wife and the man "busting a nut."

did he leave his wife? no, he went back to his wife. please, let's not look for more into something that was pretty simple and basic - it was sex and she filled a need for him.

does it come across harsh? yes, I get that. but let's be honest about what it was. sparing feelings doesn't help anything - OP has to stop the self-destructive behavior if she wants to have a real meaningful and fulfilling relationship.

You are incorrect. I had an affair for many years. I never left my wife, but loved my AP much more than my wife. If it wasn't for the children, I would have been out. My AP understandably did not want to wait around until my kids were grown. Counting down the days until I can file.

You are very wrong, it is not all about sex. It often actually is not about sex at all. It is having a loving connection with someone. Men need love an affection as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And this is why screwing a married man is a bad thing...

Bad for whom? I think this arrangement is just fine for at least one of the people involved.

[Anonymous]

I read in another forum that men want respect and women want love. But in reality men want love and women want respect too.

[Anonymous]

Fight for him, OP. He could be your solemate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As I grow old and more resentful against wife, I just found it easier to compartmentalize.

Then just leave her. Be a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As I grow old and more resentful against wife, I just found it easier to compartmentalize.

Then just leave her. Be a man.

Maybe he's just waiting for the kids to grow up. THat is how it happens.