Sending a kid to bed without supper

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never send my child to bed without support. Or dinner either. Not eating before bedtime can disrupt sleep. But that's me.

Oh please. Your precious snowflake. Maybe a night without food or good sleep would get the eye rolls to stop. Kids walk all over parents these days.

[Anonymous]

Did it for a younger kid who said rude things about the meal. After missing a couple dinners rude comments stopped. But it was a six year old or so. I may have sent a mouthy 13 year old away a few times before dessert just because did not want her at table any more. But not sure it changed the attitude. The 13 year old is crosser when there is school stress AND when seasonal allergies hit. Right now is really bad. May want to investigate those items.

[Anonymous]

I would not have done that. My girl is 11.5 and if it were before dinner and she darted mouthing off I'd assume she was hungry.
Givingnhernno dinner would not help. It'd make things worse.

[Anonymous]

I can see where you're coming from, and I certainly don't think it's abusive as a one-time thing. That said, it'a not sustainable, so obviously not ideal. I think you need to read "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk."

I also think you need to get some consistent consequences in place. I would consider stripping her room to a bare minimum (remove all legos and books that she did not personally purchase) and explaining that she can be your legal ward (for whom you provide basic neccessities, including food that is edible but not delicious and shelter but not entertainment), or your child (for whom you provide lovingly-prepared meals, gifts that you believe she would enjoy and above all your time and attention). She gets to choose. If she is being a brat, she gets one chance to rephrase ("I love you and want to listen, but I will not be treated unkindly in my own house. Try that again"), and if she refuses to comply, then 1) she is not entitled to any public areas in the house, 2) she is not entitled to your or DH's help. Meals will be boring food eaten alone, and she will be doing her own laundry, etc. Punishment wnds when she apologizes and is prepared to speak kindly to all family members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is supper? A Midwestern dinner?

Supper

1 a : the evening meal especially when dinner is taken at midday b : a social affair featuring a supper; especially : an evening social especially for raising funds
2: the food served as a supper <eat your supper>
3: a light meal served late in the evening

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/supper

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do know that denying a child food is against the law. Daycares can not do that, you shouldn't either.

Man, these days you can't even discipline your kids. And we wonder why society is going down the pits. Any pediatrician will tell you skipping one meal won't hurt the child, unless the child has some medical issue.

Society is going down the pits because it's against the law to deprive your children of food?

[Anonymous]

What's a nexxus?

Surely it isn't the only source of joy in her life. I would have removed more privileges instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do know that denying a child food is against the law. Daycares can not do that, you shouldn't either.

Oh give me a break. It is not against the law to send a kid to bed without dinner. The kid is not being abused and is not going to starve to death if she misses one meal.

[Anonymous]

You do know that denying a child food is against the law. Daycares can not do that, you shouldn't either.

It is NOT against the law for parents to "deny" a child food. It is illegal to neglect them but not to send her to bed without dinner. If you assert that it is, you must provide a citation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A parenting class about backtalk taught me a strategy that really did work. I would say, "I can't listen to you when you talk to me like that, I'm going to leave the room" and then remove yourself. Or.. "It wears me out to be talked to like that so I'm not up for making dinner, sorry. You guys will have to be on your own tonight.." The point is, don't let a power play happen. But instead of punishing try letting your daughter learn the natural consequences of being talked to in certain ways -- it doesn't get them what they want most, your attention.

This is what we do. It's actually very effective especially when you put parameters on what they can and cannot eat. You have to do it in a calm manner, though. Otherwise your DC will think you've lost control and are lashing out rather than behaving in a calm rational manner (good modeling as well). They learn really quickly not to get disrespectful when they're wanting you to take them some place. "I'm feeling really annoyed right now and need to calm down. When we're both calm and can be respectful, I'll consider taking you but right now it's just not possible."

[Anonymous]

00:04 You can disagree with me but, oh please, no need to call my child a precious snowflake. I did not say I would not discipline my child if he did what OP's did. Your post is not helpful. Are you even a parent?

[Anonymous]

Since the blow up, what has her reaction been? Apologetic? Does she feel like her life is unfair because it wasn't her turn to help with dinner? I realize you were angry,but she needs to be heard and I needs to learn how to verbalize that in a non-confrontational and respectful way. Both of you reacted to the situation and everyone is unhappy.The two of you need to sit down and write down some rules that you both agree on. Some role playing(your daughter can play you and you play her) might lighten up the situation. Teachable moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Posting once was not enough .....

http://www.city-data.com/forum/parenting/2191695-has-anybody-ever-sent-kid-their.html

This is so weird. The OP asked a simple enough question - what kind of time do you have on your hands to go looking for this stuff?!

[Anonymous]

Weird, creepy, southern,

Troll.

[Anonymous]

I love that your first option is slapping your child in the face. You are a real winner.