Sending a kid to bed without supper
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Anonymous
| This whole thread reminds me of Where The Wild Things Are. |
Anonymous
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I too would have probably done the same. In fact, I've threatened it with both my 3yo and 6yo (which made them change their behaviour IMMEDIATELY).
Actually with my kids, I tell them to go up to their room and don't come down until they are ready to be nice/talk nice, etc. You could do this with your 12yo. It will put the ball in her court - she can choose to skip dinner if she wants to keep up the attitude OR she can come down and eat if she's ready to change her way of acting/talking. She may decide to come down long after you're done eating, but at least the choice is up to her. |
Anonymous
You could try this, yes. I would likely have done the same you did, OP. Especially since she was being nasty about helping make supper. Either send her to her room, or she only gets what she helped make. |
Anonymous
Man, these days you can't even discipline your kids. And we wonder why society is going down the pits. Any pediatrician will tell you skipping one meal won't hurt the child, unless the child has some medical issue. |
Anonymous
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OP - Do not second guess yourself as you know your daughter and perhaps things have evolved into a certain pattern, but it sounds like you and DH are willing to parent. Now she can expect that you and DH are a team and will follow through on what you say. Unless she is an only child, it would be a good time to go over "House Rules" on respect etc. with all of your children. She sounded prissy in not being willing to help you, but let's say you caught her off guard. Time to have some stated chores around the house for little Missy and if pre-meal set-up or prep could be one a couple of nights AND/OR why should you be cleaning up and taking out the trash after preparing the meal. Time for her to learn to run the dishwasher, wash pans and take out the garbage. If you can be flexible, give her an option on what she would like to do and then decide what other siblings might do. Again, good parenting. |
Anonymous
Not the OP but yes mine is going to be 13 in Sept and she has a ton of Legos. She builds the Mindstorms too. I guess she should be putting on make-up or taking half naked selfies |
Anonymous
| I don't think the punishment links in any way to the offense so no, I would not have sent her to bed without supper. I have already worked my way through 2 preteen girls and while I totally agree with how awful it is to deal with that attitude, I think you need to come up with some better management techniques. I absolutely sent my kids away telling them they needed to get a better handle on their actions before returning, but I never shut them out of a meal for it. |
Anonymous
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Posting once was not enough .....
http://www.city-data.com/forum/parenting/2191695-has-anybody-ever-sent-kid-their.html |
Anonymous
A bunch of helicopter mommy with bratty kids is what we have around here. |
Anonymous
| What is supper? A Midwestern dinner? |
Anonymous
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The child is acting entirely inappropriately, in every way.
But using food as a punishment can land you in a terrible place. The child can see at as a negotiating tool, a power symbol, etc., etc.,.: all the things that set you up for power struggles that can have devastating consequences at worst and that are unrelated to the issues she was displaying at best. Food and shelter are baseline necessities (I'm thinking of Maslow). A PP noted that perhaps you could take her a plate of food later or something along those lines or give her food that you didn't prepare but that meets basic requirements (example: if the family was having roast chicken, sauteed vegetables, and rolls give her cold cuts, carrots, and two pieces of bread that she has to assemble). It's not ideal but since you appear to be wanting to punish her in relation to the way she acted while you were preparing a meal (and I understand that -- disrespect while you were doing something essential as well as potentially loving is the pits), then find a different way to give her a consequence related to the action -- without denying her food. |
Anonymous
| I would never send my child to bed without support. Or dinner either. Not eating before bedtime can disrupt sleep. But that's me. |
Anonymous
Me too! |
Anonymous
You must have a lot of time on your hands. Do you feel smart now? OP needs advice, wtf is your problem to try to "call her out"? You're an asshole. OP, I am dealing with an 8 (almost 9 year old) with major attitude problems. We haven't sent him to bed without dinner, but I've been tempted! I think you probably did what felt right at that moment, and I hope it works out for you. Maybe she will think about what she did. Have a good talk with her tomorrow. It obviously hurts you to do what you did, and she should know that. Good luck OP, and ignore the jerks on here with the perfect children 
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Anonymous
Pretty much. Plain, wholesome, cozy food. I love the word supper, and supper itself. Think of Snoopy singing "Suppertime." |