Is it wrong to stay with someone (not married) for sex only?

[Anonymous]

How was the sex in your marriage, OP? How did you meet this guy?

I don't think you have anything to worry about and should relax and enjoy yourself. I assume you are done having kids, so what's the rush? It will fizzle out on its own eventually.

[Anonymous]

I am 45 + I think this is something that most women our age unfortunately go through at this stage of life. It really sucks balls.

It's like the guys our age, the ones who are "good for us," the Mr. Right's that are available to us are hard-working and decent loving relationship material yet in the bedroom dept. they are so-so. We find ourselves looking at the younger, hotter guys who are more physically attractive and can arouse just by looking at us vs. our older counterparts.

It's like..."Why the hell can't we have it all...?" Meaning a hot guy who has that certain animal magnetism that sets our libido on fire just by his touch, yet at the same time has a lot going for him future wise and can be a great potential life partner.

Sorry, I have no answer for you...I am still looking for the magic answer myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How was the sex in your marriage, OP? How did you meet this guy?

I don't think you have anything to worry about and should relax and enjoy yourself. I assume you are done having kids, so what's the rush? It will fizzle out on its own eventually.

She's been with him for a year. That in and of itself is not a problem. But Op shouldn't give him the impression that she actually cares about him. As long as the two people involved know where they stand, it's good.

Is this a monogamous relationship, Op? Or do you know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 45 + I think this is something that most women our age unfortunately go through at this stage of life. It really sucks balls.

It's like the guys our age, the ones who are "good for us," the Mr. Right's that are available to us are hard-working and decent loving relationship material yet in the bedroom dept. they are so-so. We find ourselves looking at the younger, hotter guys who are more physically attractive and can arouse just by looking at us vs. our older counterparts.

It's like..."Why the hell can't we have it all...?" Meaning a hot guy who has that certain animal magnetism that sets our libido on fire just by his touch, yet at the same time has a lot going for him future wise and can be a great potential life partner.

Sorry, I have no answer for you...I am still looking for the magic answer myself.

No, that's not something all women go through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 45 + I think this is something that most women our age unfortunately go through at this stage of life. It really sucks balls.

It's like the guys our age, the ones who are "good for us," the Mr. Right's that are available to us are hard-working and decent loving relationship material yet in the bedroom dept. they are so-so. We find ourselves looking at the younger, hotter guys who are more physically attractive and can arouse just by looking at us vs. our older counterparts.

It's like..."Why the hell can't we have it all...?" Meaning a hot guy who has that certain animal magnetism that sets our libido on fire just by his touch, yet at the same time has a lot going for him future wise and can be a great potential life partner.

Sorry, I have no answer for you...I am still looking for the magic answer myself.

No, that's not something all women go through.

+1

Actually, my DH was not satisfying me in the bedroom. He was experienced and I was a virgin. I had to show him what to do to please me. (Basically I had to introduce him to my clit.) So if the women out there are having issues in the bedroom, you need to speak up and SHOW him what to do. He's not a mind reader!

[Anonymous]

OP, I am a guy and can relate to what you are saying.

I was once involved with a divorcee who as about ten years older than me. The relationship was just great sex - actually mind-blowing sex. I never led her on but I did not want her to feel that she was just someone I wanted to fuck and nothing else. But I think she knew it at some level that it was only physical because we'd never go out together. I'd just go to her place in the morning before work - and at other times after work - and we'd have sex and then I'd leave. On one occasion she did ask me where our relationship was headed and I told her that marriage was not something that I was even remotely interested in. But I told her that any time she wanted sex, I'd be there for her. She asked me to promise and I did.

She told me on a couple of occasions that she was bothered at times that our relationship was only sexual ...... but that is how it remained. It was a relationship that lasted a couple of years and then she said she was going on vacation to the Canary Islands and thereafter I lost touch with her.

So, although your guy may convey the impression that he is looking for more, it is likely that he is saying this more to make you not feel used.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 45 + I think this is something that most women our age unfortunately go through at this stage of life. It really sucks balls.

It's like the guys our age, the ones who are "good for us," the Mr. Right's that are available to us are hard-working and decent loving relationship material yet in the bedroom dept. they are so-so. We find ourselves looking at the younger, hotter guys who are more physically attractive and can arouse just by looking at us vs. our older counterparts.

It's like..."Why the hell can't we have it all...?" Meaning a hot guy who has that certain animal magnetism that sets our libido on fire just by his touch, yet at the same time has a lot going for him future wise and can be a great potential life partner.

Sorry, I have no answer for you...I am still looking for the magic answer myself.

b/c women your age who are ball-buster and constantly harping drive us 40+ hot men into the arms of the younger women - or women 40+ who simply aren't LTR material but are fucking awesome in bed.

[Anonymous]

I can understand where OP is coming from. I'm seeing a guy in a relationship and I don't love him, I don't want to be with him. But the sex is SO SATISFYING that I have no drive to find someone else. We both know it's going to end someday.

Someday I have to make the effort to find someone suitable. OP, you know what you SHOULD do, but you're not going to, are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a professional woman, 42 divorced for about 4 years. Met someone by fluke last year he is quite a bit younger. He is total eye candy but not husband material. He is in construction and we are from different worlds. However sex with him is just beyond. No words, crazy good. You get the picture. I know this is not going anywhere yet I cannot seem to stay away. I feel guilty, wrong and maybe that I am leading him on. We have talked a little about the future and i told him I have no desire to get married again at least not for a long time. (and to him, never).

I get asked out by men who are more my equal (white collar professional men) and while there are some lovely decent men, they are often so boring and predictable. Next to them my current fling is a firecracker. The thing is I doubt anyone can hold a candle to him in "that dept" but at what point do I need to get real an start focusing on more than going to bed with a wonderful lover. I don't want to wake up at 55 alone and have no one by my side. On the other hand I dont' think I can give up what I have. Help me, go gently please. I know you all can be tough!

Don't we all do the same thing if we don't think the other person is right" for us?
We'd all want a firecracker eye candy lady only for sex, we just won't say it.

[Anonymous]

The most sensual woman I ever had was 41 (when I was 27). That woman knew how to touch spots on my body that I didn't know existed. LOL.

There was no way it could have been permanent as we were in two different places.

Now that I'm just about her age (then), women still don't quite compare.

In other words, OP, you found yourself a gem. Enjoy it while you have it. All the 40+ men in the world can claim to be great lovers (as can the women), but very few actually are.