What Did She Know and When Did She Know It

[Anonymous]

Wait, maybe OP wants to know because she is worried for her daughter.

I do recommend therapy. And treating your daughter with compassion. I think its natural to feel betrayed by both, but remember your daughter was in an impossible position. She is going to need help to trust again and to figure this all out herself.

[Anonymous]

"DD I am so sorry that you have been in this situation. It's important to me that you know that I do not, in any way, hold you responsible. And I completely understand that you must have had conflicted feelings about what you knew, and if you have been feeling divided loyalties, that would be completely normal, and I understand."


OP, please don't pepper your daughter with questions, as much as you'd like to know. She is in a bad place. (As are you, and my heart goes out to your family.)

[Anonymous]

No!! Poor kid probably didn't know what to do. Don't put her in the middle anymore than she already is!

[Anonymous]

OP,
I actually think it might be a relief for your daughter to know that you know. Imagine the burden she's carried. Can you have a loving conversation, and tell her you know, you've discussed it with dad, you understand why she didn't tell you, it must have been so hard. I mean gosh OP don't you feel for her? I feel for you of course!

How did you find out, and how do you know DD knows?

[Anonymous]

P.S. I would not discuss this with her until you feel more like a concerned mother than a wronged wife. Don't bring DH's betrayal to this. She did not betray you in keeping this from you. Maybe she was in denial, and thought if you didn't know it would stop and go away. Very complicated for her.

[Anonymous]

Or maybe OP is just a cruel troll.

Interesting that s/he has not returned to answer a single follow up question to what is a truly exploitive thread.