Parents, How Much $ Did/Will You Allocate for Allowance?

[Anonymous]

I'm glad to see that the pps appreciate their parents' support during college. DH and I had minimal support in college and both worked 20 hrs/wk and were full time engineering students (parents had no money and many more kids at home). It was sheer hell. We dreamed and planned that our own kids would not be forced to work during college, we would provide reasonable spending $, and they'll graduate debt-free from the college of their choice. Now we're just trying to calculate how much is "reasonable".

[Anonymous]

Son at Carolina. Freshman year was 700 a month. That was for gas, "pizza" (beer), Netflix, stuff from target, etc. he had a meal plan and lived on campus. If he wanted to frat it came out of his money (he did not.) I paid tuition, books, meal plan, car, car insurance and parking space.

This year he will be off campus. He will not have a meal plan. Rent is 600 a month-which I will pay since it's the same as room and board. Car, parking space, etc stays the same. He will still get the same 700 a month, plus 20 a day for food (3 meals at 6.66 cents each, same as meal plan prices.)

This seems to be about middle of the road in talking with other parents. The kids who don't have money mooch and therefore don't have friends. Don't do that to your kid if you can help it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad to see that the pps appreciate their parents' support during college. DH and I had minimal support in college and both worked 20 hrs/wk and were full time engineering students (parents had no money and many more kids at home). It was sheer hell. We dreamed and planned that our own kids would not be forced to work during college, we would provide reasonable spending $, and they'll graduate debt-free from the college of their choice. Now we're just trying to calculate how much is "reasonable".

I have the same dream. I supported myself all through undergrad (moved out from a bad home situation but did not get any financial aid, so couldn't just live on campus). I spent all my time working full time and studying. While I graduated summa cum laude, I didn't make many friends and generally had little fun. I want my kids to enjoy college, make lifelong friends, build connections, and explore extracurriculars. I'm not going to be penny wise on a modest allowance and pound foolish by spending money on tuition/room and board and then not maximize their ability to take as much advantage of it they can. That said, I imagine giving something reasonable but absolutely not lavish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP disregard all the I walked 5 miles in bare feet and flipped burgers through college talk unless that's what you expect your son or daughter to do in college. You know what you spend on your child for clothing, entertainment, food and transportation. Apply that formula to college and you'll come up with a corresponding allowance. The kid at Montgomery College or UMD or George Mason won't have the same expenses as the kid at Brown, Bowdoin, Bucknell or BC.

OP here and I definitely plan to ignore those posts-although I absolutely expected them.

I'm always amazed that some parents think that creating hardship for their children is somehow better for them in the long run. In my opinion, if you have children who are doing the right thing by going to college (and likely did the right thing all along to get to that point), you should support them and do what you can to help make that time as easy as possible. Being a full-time college student requires a lot. If the children can relax a bit or work during the summer for spending money that's great. But my parents supported me during my 4 years of college without requiring me to get a job and it made that time so much easier.

There will be enough hardships waiting for our children when they graduate and go out into the real world for a job. There's no need to manufacture it for them.

That said, I do take small issue with your contention that students at some schools will need more than others. I think that for the most part, the expenses are the same. If room/board and a meal plan are provided, the name of the school doesn't matter. If anything, I'd think location matters more. The kid going to school in New York would likely need more spending money than the kid at Brown.

It's not about creating hardships for children. They're not children, that's the point. They're adults in college. And you're still keeping them spoiled children. It's fine if you want your adult son or daughter to function as a spoiled child. To each his own.

If that's how you want to justify it, fine! But most young adults still have the word TEEN tacked onto their ages when they go off to college. (You know like eighTEEN)--which is in no way the same as being an established adult who's prepared to support him/herself. College is the time in which they're preparing to do just that.

Besides if your child is spoiled at 18 you've done the parenting thing all wrong. 18 is not the time to try to teach lessons. An 18 year old college student should be able to accept and appreciate (financial) support with gratitude. If not you've failed as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad to see that the pps appreciate their parents' support during college. DH and I had minimal support in college and both worked 20 hrs/wk and were full time engineering students (parents had no money and many more kids at home). It was sheer hell. We dreamed and planned that our own kids would not be forced to work during college, we would provide reasonable spending $, and they'll graduate debt-free from the college of their choice. Now we're just trying to calculate how much is "reasonable".

I have the same dream. I supported myself all through undergrad (moved out from a bad home situation but did not get any financial aid, so couldn't just live on campus). I spent all my time working full time and studying. While I graduated summa cum laude, I didn't make many friends and generally had little fun. I want my kids to enjoy college, make lifelong friends, build connections, and explore extracurriculars. I'm not going to be penny wise on a modest allowance and pound foolish by spending money on tuition/room and board and then not maximize their ability to take as much advantage of it they can. That said, I imagine giving something reasonable but absolutely not lavish.

Bravo! Well stated.

Penny wise and pound foolish is exactly what those parents are being.

I too want DC to maximize the college experience. It's the only time in life they will have it.

[Anonymous]

Daddy pays. Do they outgrow that mentality?

[Anonymous]

Parents help their children whether it's through college, grad school, divorce or unemployment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daddy pays. Do they outgrow that mentality?

In my house mommy makes bank and does the paying.

[Anonymous]

LOL! I worked to pay for my rent and all expenses besides tuition in college (books, activity fees, etc). Tutored the rich kids, made bank. Graduated summa cum laude, got an amazing career.

Yes, please keep sending your children money -- and don't forget to pay for their tutoring, too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have one at Stanford and one at Berkeley. They each get $250 a month. We pay tuition, books, room & board, and meal plan. We will pay to fly them home & back. That $250 is for everything else. We ask no questions about how it's spent. The youngest is a junior - neither have ever asked for more.

This budget works only if they don't have cars. Are you also taking them shopping when they're home for clothes and shoes? What about visits to the Dr?

Are you seriously suggesting that $250/month is not enough for clothes and shoes, if you are already paying for room, board, and a meal plan? That shoukd be more than plenty! And if you have insurance, they can't come up with $20 for the occasional co-pay? Plus most schools have a health center that is free for students.

How much clothing does an 18 NEED to buy anyone? They're mostly done growing by then Want to buy, I know, is a different story. But imo if an 18 yo who has their food, shelter, and books being paid for by the bank of mom and dad can't get by on 250/month, he or she is pretty spoiled. He/she can bring the wardrobe they already own don't forget. It doesn't all have to be bought new.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL! I worked to pay for my rent and all expenses besides tuition in college (books, activity fees, etc). Tutored the rich kids, made bank. Graduated summa cum laude, got an amazing career.

Yes, please keep sending your children money -- and don't forget to pay for their tutoring, too!

I also graduated with honors, went on to receive 2 ivy grad degrees, have an amazing career--and didn't work one day of college.

When I did receive tutoring, it was FREE through my college.

[Anonymous]

DD's tutoring comes free with her $45,000 tuition. So there's that.

[Anonymous]

When I was in college 10 years ago I just put everything on my parents credit card and my parents put 250 a month in my bank account.

[Anonymous]

It's not about creating hardships, it's about growing up. I want my children to have part time jobs because I think there is great value in them. Responsibility, hard work, team work, etc. It's a learning experience. I also think it is valuable for children of relative privilege to have experience working in lower skill jobs. IME, it builds appreciation for the hard work that people do and fosters respect and empathy.

I also believe strongly that there is value in learning to make do, hold off on making purchases, delay gratification. To learn to budget time and money wisely.

There may be many ways for kids to learn these skills/lessons, but one of the best ways I know is to be given some responsibility for one's own care and feeding. I don't believe that college should be an extension of childhood but rather the start of adulthood. It's the perfect time to start being in charge of one of the most essential life skills--the ability to take care of yourself.

My kids know that we are here to help out with any problems they can't solve on their own. But they also know that we are confident in their abilities to handle most of the day to day issues that arise. And they also know better than to think I'm going to pay for the beer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD's tutoring comes free with her $45,000 tuition. So there's that.

+1 PP sounds a bit resentful of the "rich kids" who didn't have to work while she was busting her butt.

FWIW, I went to school in the 80's and tutoring was part of the tuition then as well.