Parents, How Much $ Did/Will You Allocate for Allowance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any discussion relative to the amount of allowance for your sons vs daughters?

No, they both get the same amount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure most of us here went to college. Did you really find it to be full time job? I went to a top college, worked hard, got good grades. Still had plenty of time to work 10-12 hours a week and play hard, too. Best time of my life. Working a bit didn't get in the way of any of it, and it provided me with spending money and some interesting experiences. Oh yeah, met DH at the job, too.

Yes. I had a ton of undiagnosed learning disabilities. Home work that took you one hour took me three. You studied for an hour, while I met with a tutor for two hours and then studied further on my own for two hours. I was so relieved when everyone went out at night to party, because that meant the dorms would be quieter and I'd get distracted less often. In the mornings while you were sleeping off a hangover I was back at my desk trying to get through what was taught but I hadn't learned. And I didn't go to a hard school. I could have gone to 7th grade at age 18 and would have struggled just as much. I went to the easiest school that would give me a degree which would lead to a full-time job. You called your mom to talk all about the interesting things you were learning and boys you were dating while I called my mom to ask her to explain assignments to me and what she thought the teacher meant. Maybe you went to a professor's office hours once a semester? I went almost once a week. I worked my ASS off in college. It was much more than a full time job. I did not have time to work part time or "play hard." Oh and I didn't get good grades. I passed. And I was relieved to pass because sometimes I failed despite working hard. School is simply not my thing.

Similar to my DC, although it's not quite as much of a struggle. So working would be a challenge. Plus it's a small liberal arts school in a small town-very few jobs in the town for students and all the on campus jobs go to FA students. We give DC an allowance so time can be spent on school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure most of us here went to college. Did you really find it to be full time job? I went to a top college, worked hard, got good grades. Still had plenty of time to work 10-12 hours a week and play hard, too. Best time of my life. Working a bit didn't get in the way of any of it, and it provided me with spending money and some interesting experiences. Oh yeah, met DH at the job, too.

Yes. I had a ton of undiagnosed learning disabilities. Home work that took you one hour took me three. You studied for an hour, while I met with a tutor for two hours and then studied further on my own for two hours. I was so relieved when everyone went out at night to party, because that meant the dorms would be quieter and I'd get distracted less often. In the mornings while you were sleeping off a hangover I was back at my desk trying to get through what was taught but I hadn't learned. And I didn't go to a hard school. I could have gone to 7th grade at age 18 and would have struggled just as much. I went to the easiest school that would give me a degree which would lead to a full-time job. You called your mom to talk all about the interesting things you were learning and boys you were dating while I called my mom to ask her to explain assignments to me and what she thought the teacher meant. Maybe you went to a professor's office hours once a semester? I went almost once a week. I worked my ASS off in college. It was much more than a full time job. I did not have time to work part time or "play hard." Oh and I didn't get good grades. I passed. And I was relieved to pass because sometimes I failed despite working hard. School is simply not my thing.

Similar to my DC, although it's not quite as much of a struggle. So working would be a challenge. Plus it's a small liberal arts school in a small town-very few jobs in the town for students and all the on campus jobs go to FA students. We give DC an allowance so time can be spent on school.

What does he do in the summer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure most of us here went to college. Did you really find it to be full time job? I went to a top college, worked hard, got good grades. Still had plenty of time to work 10-12 hours a week and play hard, too. Best time of my life. Working a bit didn't get in the way of any of it, and it provided me with spending money and some interesting experiences. Oh yeah, met DH at the job, too.

Yes. I had a ton of undiagnosed learning disabilities. Home work that took you one hour took me three. You studied for an hour, while I met with a tutor for two hours and then studied further on my own for two hours. I was so relieved when everyone went out at night to party, because that meant the dorms would be quieter and I'd get distracted less often. In the mornings while you were sleeping off a hangover I was back at my desk trying to get through what was taught but I hadn't learned. And I didn't go to a hard school. I could have gone to 7th grade at age 18 and would have struggled just as much. I went to the easiest school that would give me a degree which would lead to a full-time job. You called your mom to talk all about the interesting things you were learning and boys you were dating while I called my mom to ask her to explain assignments to me and what she thought the teacher meant. Maybe you went to a professor's office hours once a semester? I went almost once a week. I worked my ASS off in college. It was much more than a full time job. I did not have time to work part time or "play hard." Oh and I didn't get good grades. I passed. And I was relieved to pass because sometimes I failed despite working hard. School is simply not my thing.

Similar to my DC, although it's not quite as much of a struggle. So working would be a challenge. Plus it's a small liberal arts school in a small town-very few jobs in the town for students and all the on campus jobs go to FA students. We give DC an allowance so time can be spent on school.

What does he do in the summer?

Works, or takes additional classes to keep up. This summer is doing both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daddy pays. Do they outgrow that mentality?

Absolutely. I am proof of that. When I was in 11th grade and got a driving permit, my father gave me an "emergency credit card." It had my name on it but the bill went to him. I was to use it in any sort of driving emergency. In 12th grade, I would often get sent on errands (pharmacy, supermarket, post office) and get told to pay for the errands with the credit card. I took the credit card to college. Again, it was only for some sort of huge emergency. My parents deposited $200 a month into a bank for me, which I could pull out with an ATM card. I never used the credit card. After college, maybe 6 months after I'd been working full time, I'd gotten my own credit card. I handed the emergency credit card back to my dad one day. "I haven't used this in a really long time. The credit limit on my cc is $2,000. Thanks, but I don't think I need this backup any more."

My parents gave me juuuuuuust enough that I didn't have to struggle, but DID have to plan and budget. It left me respectful of how much things cost, the concept of saving, etc. That's why I give my college-aged kids (and being that each headed off to college at 16, they WERE kids) money. Again, enough that they can get by, IF they pay attention to sales, and budget wisely.

*My guess for the twice-a-week salon visits: her kid is on a dance or cheer team. There are requirements for your hair, makeup, etc. My guess is the kid can't do her own hair the way the team requires, so she's going twice a week to have it done so she looks appropriate for games and appearances as a member of the team.

of course; I didn't think of this. That makes perfect sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure most of us here went to college. Did you really find it to be full time job? I went to a top college, worked hard, got good grades. Still had plenty of time to work 10-12 hours a week and play hard, too. Best time of my life. Working a bit didn't get in the way of any of it, and it provided me with spending money and some interesting experiences. Oh yeah, met DH at the job, too.

Yes. I had a ton of undiagnosed learning disabilities. Home work that took you one hour took me three. You studied for an hour, while I met with a tutor for two hours and then studied further on my own for two hours. I was so relieved when everyone went out at night to party, because that meant the dorms would be quieter and I'd get distracted less often. In the mornings while you were sleeping off a hangover I was back at my desk trying to get through what was taught but I hadn't learned. And I didn't go to a hard school. I could have gone to 7th grade at age 18 and would have struggled just as much. I went to the easiest school that would give me a degree which would lead to a full-time job. You called your mom to talk all about the interesting things you were learning and boys you were dating while I called my mom to ask her to explain assignments to me and what she thought the teacher meant. Maybe you went to a professor's office hours once a semester? I went almost once a week. I worked my ASS off in college. It was much more than a full time job. I did not have time to work part time or "play hard." Oh and I didn't get good grades. I passed. And I was relieved to pass because sometimes I failed despite working hard. School is simply not my thing.

I think this is an important point and speaks to how this decision cannot be made in a vacuum.

I have two teens. One is very bright with good but not great grades who has a tendency to take the easy road if that's available. I worry sometimes that he is a bit of a slacker. I would like to see him work a little harder, TBH. He's also not a "joiner" and I worry a little about whether he will fully engage in college, get involved in things, etc. I think he is a great candidate for a part-time job in college, and being told he needs to earn his own spending money will give him the incentive he needs to get one.

My other teen is equally bright and a very hard worker with excellent grades. He also has 2 activities to which he is very devoted. He would like very much to continue to those activities in college. Knowing him, if he continues those activities (which I support), if will be hard for him to perform to his own academic standards AND have a job. I think we will likely take a different approach with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any discussion relative to the amount of allowance for your sons vs daughters?

No, they both get the same amount.

Why in the world would they need different amounts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any discussion relative to the amount of allowance for your sons vs daughters?

We're dealing with this now. DD spends way more than her brother on "necessities" (lots of health and beauty stuff, Rx's and clothes, not to mention the spay tans and manicures she'd like routinely).

Your first problem is that your DD has tacitly understood things like spray tans and manicures to be "necessities."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any discussion relative to the amount of allowance for your sons vs daughters?

No, they both get the same amount.

Why in the world would they need different amounts?

Hmmmm. Let me think. No, can't imagine a single difference. Oh, except clothes, bras, Rx's, makeup, tampons, better and more shampoo, conditioner, moisturizer, sunscreen, razors. All these may not be "necessities" for DD but they are things she uses most days that cost more than her brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any discussion relative to the amount of allowance for your sons vs daughters?

We're dealing with this now. DD spends way more than her brother on "necessities" (lots of health and beauty stuff, Rx's and clothes, not to mention the spay tans and manicures she'd like routinely).

Your first problem is that your DD has tacitly understood things like spray tans and manicures to be "necessities."

That's what the "not to mention" was supposed to show: wants not needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any discussion relative to the amount of allowance for your sons vs daughters?

No, they both get the same amount.

Why in the world would they need different amounts?

Hmmmm. Let me think. No, can't imagine a single difference. Oh, except clothes, bras, Rx's, makeup, tampons, better and more shampoo, conditioner, moisturizer, sunscreen, razors. All these may not be "necessities" for DD but they are things she uses most days that cost more than her brother.

My son wears clothes, uses shampoo, conditioner, moisturizer, sunscreen, razors. He showers more frequently than his sister (because he sweats a whole lot more), so he goes through shampoo, conditioner, soap, moisturizer, sunscreen more quickly. Also, he's a lot bigger & hairier so the sunscreen has to cover more real estate, LOL. Changes his razor blades more frequently than his sister or I do. He has more acne so has additional products that he uses.

But you're right, no bras, makeup or tampons. Those cost, what, the equivalent of about $30/month?

[Anonymous]

15:24-- Some families spend hundreds on Lax and other sports/activities and dance teams and cheers teams can be expensive. I am happy she will finance her passion in about 13 months when she graduates next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any discussion relative to the amount of allowance for your sons vs daughters?

No, they both get the same amount.

Why in the world would they need different amounts?

Hmmmm. Let me think. No, can't imagine a single difference. Oh, except clothes, bras, Rx's, makeup, tampons, better and more shampoo, conditioner, moisturizer, sunscreen, razors. All these may not be "necessities" for DD but they are things she uses most days that cost more than her brother.

Tampons and bras I'll give you. But my boys used a ton of shampoo and conditioner, have RXs, wear clothes, use copious amounts of sun screen (4 out of 4 grandparents have/had various forms of skin cancer- one died of melanoma), razors......... They also have to spend money taking your daughter out on dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: . . . . also have to spend money taking your daughter out on dates.

Good thing DD has the birth control pills taken care of then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:15:24-- Some families spend hundreds on Lax and other sports/activities and dance teams and cheers teams can be expensive. I am happy she will finance her passion in about 13 months when she graduates next year.

I hope you didn't take my comment as sarcastic; it was not.