have been dating a guy for awhile and he hasn't made any moves

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I didn't want to bring this up because I don't want to get flamed BUT he is separated and not yet divorced. I really don't want to hear that I should NOT date a separated guy (i know I shouldn't). BUT does this factor into why he hasn't made any moves?

Seriously, OP- why don't you ask him?

Should i ask him directly how exactly he views our relationship?

As a guy, after 8 dates- HELL NO. That's way too open ended and if he's separated, he may not even view it as a relationship yet. Its been a handful of dates and you haven't even kissed yet. Make the first move and if he backs away, then ask why he doesn't want anything physical yet. But running into a "relationship conversation" is putting the cart before the horse.

Thanks for this- great advice and I needed to hear it! By the way we are both 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a guy, after 8 dates- HELL NO. That's way too open ended and if he's separated, he may not even view it as a relationship yet. Its been a handful of dates and you haven't even kissed yet. Make the first move and if he backs away, then ask why he doesn't want anything physical yet. But running into a "relationship conversation" is putting the cart before the horse.

Thanks for this- great advice and I needed to hear it! By the way we are both 40.

Just remember that most guys aren't as verbal as women. He will show you how he feels before he tells you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Does his first name start with a b? Bc this happened to me and another girl I know with the same guy.... "

LOL - I was going to ask if his name began with a "P"! Still not sure whether he was exploring other options or had a sexual hang up, but am long past him.

I wonder if your P is my P. If it was, he just had a seriously low sex drive. Still not married at 47.

OP, if you have normal physical and intimacy needs, this may not be the guy for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Does his first name start with a b? Bc this happened to me and another girl I know with the same guy.... "

LOL - I was going to ask if his name began with a "P"! Still not sure whether he was exploring other options or had a sexual hang up, but am long past him.

I wonder if your P is my P. If it was, he just had a seriously low sex drive. Still not married at 47.

OP, if you have normal physical and intimacy needs, this may not be the guy for you!

i think you are right!

[Anonymous]

Where did you meet this guy? I'm curious.

Assuming it was through some normal channel for meeting potential dates, yes, I think it's weird.

If I went on more than a couple dates (asked me out, spent a few hours together, dinner, drinks, that type of thing), I would think it odd if he hadn't made a move. Is there any flirtatious touching?

He may be out of the game for a while, but it's not like you forget chemistry. If there is none and you feel it, this is a big headache waiting to happen. I'd say, keep your options open to finding someone more available who at least lets you know he's attracted to you romantically. Dating is to get to know the other person, but a kiss is perfectly normal in that process. I would not have made it to date 8!

[Anonymous]

Maybe they're not actually dates?

[Anonymous]

I think it is a little unusual after 8 dates.

Perhaps he has been out of the dating scene awhile too and is a little rusty.

Or he could just be incredibly shy or a bit insecure and nervous.

Who says the guy has to initiate the first kiss anyway??!

I say the next time you both say Good Night, you seal it w/a kiss!! Muah.

[Anonymous]

anything happen?

i dated a guy like this once...finally let it go. he kept texting me to check in. still not sure what he thought was going on.

[Anonymous]

When I was single, I could have gone on maybe 4 dates max before I would have taken the initiative. 8 is way too long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure the divorce is on? Maybe he's not ready to get involved physically because he's not sure he's done with the marriage? HOw long has he been separated?

Separated since October. I am positive they are getting divorced. Papers have been served, he is asking for divorce.

He hasn't been separated long enough, and probably thinks if he kisses you he'll be cheating on his wife.

[Anonymous]

Let me give another opinion. He simply has not gotten over the separation, feels like he failed, and is simply not ready to make a move. He may indeed like you as more than a friend but is just scared because of what happened in his marriage.

OP, I have not seen you repost, but it sounds like the two of you need a long talk.

[Anonymous]

Not interested or conflicted somehow. I'd move on.

[Anonymous]

OMG I DON'T WANT TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE! I AM IN THIRD GRADE! I DON'T WANT TO TAKE THE INITIATIVE OR TAKE ANY RISK.

Typical.

[Anonymous]

OP deserves a guy who "won't make the first move." You get what you deserve.

[Anonymous]

"I wonder if your P is my P. If it was, he just had a seriously low sex drive. Still not married at 47."

No, mine was divorced and early 50s.