Inviting a child who lives in shelter over for playdate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you haven't met the mom or dad, I wouldn't do it. Shelter or not, you have to meet the parents. Besides, I would want my child to play/associate with some one who can reciprocate. You surely won't be sending your child to a shelter for a play date. You can ask the teacher and I'm sure she wouldn't suggest it. As a parent, who spent so much time researching schools for the the "right environment", you surely can't feel that environment is what you want for child. It may sound terrible, but I wouldn't welcome that. Besides, the school year is almost over and if this friend is staying in a shelter, he or she most likely won't be returning next year anyway.

This post is disgusting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you haven't met the mom or dad, I wouldn't do it. Shelter or not, you have to meet the parents. Besides, I would want my child to play/associate with some one who can reciprocate. You surely won't be sending your child to a shelter for a play date. You can ask the teacher and I'm sure she wouldn't suggest it. As a parent, who spent so much time researching schools for the the "right environment", you surely can't feel that environment is what you want for child. It may sound terrible, but I wouldn't welcome that. Besides, the school year is almost over and if this friend is staying in a shelter, he or she most likely won't be returning next year anyway.

This post is disgusting!

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you haven't met the mom or dad, I wouldn't do it. Shelter or not, you have to meet the parents. Besides, I would want my child to play/associate with some one who can reciprocate. You surely won't be sending your child to a shelter for a play date. You can ask the teacher and I'm sure she wouldn't suggest it. As a parent, who spent so much time researching schools for the the "right environment", you surely can't feel that environment is what you want for child. It may sound terrible, but I wouldn't welcome that. Besides, the school year is almost over and if this friend is staying in a shelter, he or she most likely won't be returning next year anyway.

+ 100

I agree. It's funny how this post has received over 1000 views and there are 25 comments of praise? Yeah, right! Let me get my popcorn! The truth is about to come out. I'm a parent with homeless children in my child's class and I would not entertain the idea of a play date outside of playing at the school playground after school.

This post is disgusting too. The child -repeat- child is not of the right breed to interact with your child?

[Anonymous]

^^ agreed. But PP makes one good point, which is that you should get the parent or caregiver's permission. Simply talking to the drop-off person is not enough.

[Anonymous]

OP here, just as a follow up, I've written a note which I gave the teacher at drop off this morning to put in the child's backpack. It says (more or less) - I am X's mom, and X talks about Y so much everyday. I'd love to either have Y over to our place or meet up at a playground one day. You can call me at XXXX or email me at XXXX if you are interested.

I will wait a week or so to see if there is a response. And, for what it is worth, the teacher didn't say anything when I provided the note.

[Anonymous]

The last few disgusting reactions is just one reason why homeless kids who live at shelters hide that fact from their peers. Shame and judgemental a-hole parents who can't imagine that a smart, fun, nice kid with potential could have parents who are down on their luck or screw ups.
Seriously go marry Donald Sterling and get it over with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The last few disgusting reactions is just one reason why homeless kids who live at shelters hide that fact from their peers. Shame and judgemental a-hole parents who can't imagine that a smart, fun, nice kid with potential could have parents who are down on their luck or screw ups.
Seriously go marry Donald Sterling and get it over with.

Amen!

[Anonymous]

The disgusting reactions makes me wonder a few things about the authors:

1. Have you and your ancestors always been rich? No one in your history was ever down on their luck? No immigrant story, no struggle in the home country, you were prosperous in the Great Depression? No slavery, servitude, or serfdom in your history? No one was ever an orphan? No one ever was ruined financially by disease or untimely death of a loved one?

We just went through the biggest financial crash since the Great Depression. The recovery has been slow and wages have not rebounded. At the same time housing prices in DC have risen at historic rates.

I am so glad that you and your breed have been so superior for so long that you don't have any recollection in your family history of a time that you were not invincible.

2. Do you believe in eugenics or something? Do you believe children who are poor are inferior to your child?

3. Why do you choose to live in an economically diverse city if you want to put your child into a bubble? Why not live in a gated community?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you haven't met the mom or dad, I wouldn't do it. Shelter or not, you have to meet the parents. Besides, I would want my child to play/associate with some one who can reciprocate. You surely won't be sending your child to a shelter for a play date. You can ask the teacher and I'm sure she wouldn't suggest it. As a parent, who spent so much time researching schools for the the "right environment", you surely can't feel that environment is what you want for child. It may sound terrible, but I wouldn't welcome that. Besides, the school year is almost over and if this friend is staying in a shelter, he or she most likely won't be returning next year anyway.

I just can't fathom your lack of compassion or basic decency. Also I had no idea that children's friendships came with a tally mark column. I wonder if you ever lost your home would you want people to treat you like garbage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you haven't met the mom or dad, I wouldn't do it. Shelter or not, you have to meet the parents. Besides, I would want my child to play/associate with some one who can reciprocate. You surely won't be sending your child to a shelter for a play date. You can ask the teacher and I'm sure she wouldn't suggest it. As a parent, who spent so much time researching schools for the the "right environment", you surely can't feel that environment is what you want for child. It may sound terrible, but I wouldn't welcome that. Besides, the school year is almost over and if this friend is staying in a shelter, he or she most likely won't be returning next year anyway.

This post is disgusting!

+1000

I confess. This post is disgustingly true. I personally wouldn't do it either. I hate to admit it. But no. I need to meet the parents of any child that would want to play outside of school. And if it's practically May and you haven't met or seen them anywhere - field trips, PTA , school programs, pick ups then I would let it go. The poster is probably right about the child moving anyway.

[Anonymous]

Treat the kid like any other kid. If the parent doesn't do drop off, leave a note or talk to the care taker. If you do an after school thing, maybe have the kid stay for family dinner since dinner may only be for a set time at the shelter and if she misses she won't eat. Just make her feel as normal as possible.

Who gives a crap of her parents can't reciprocate. I had a friend in elementary who lived in a trailer with no phone and the parents had no car. My mom had to drive over and gasp! talk to poors! to make plans for us. I never went inside that girl's house but she came over to ours, stayed for dinner, and my mom always made sure she took some pie or a loaf of banana bread home "because I made too much". Or sent extra tomatoes or zucchini from the garden because "we have more than we can eat".

My mom and that friend's mom still talk 30 years later - the other mom is a cashier at CVS in our home town and my mom has always treated her like any other acquaintance and asks about he daughter, looks at pics of the grand kids, etc. Because you treat people - even poor ones - like normal human beings worthy of respect and politeness - although I doubt many people on DCUM know that.

[Anonymous]

Also - ugh these responses make me so mad! - it is not the kids fault she is poor, has an unstable living situation, has addict or felon parents, or anything else you think is a "bad influence". Maybe you could be a good influence on this kid who may not see a lot of stable families. You aren't sending your kid to play in the shelter, you are inviting an innocent child into your home.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you haven't met the mom or dad, I wouldn't do it. Shelter or not, you have to meet the parents. Besides, I would want my child to play/associate with some one who can reciprocate. You surely won't be sending your child to a shelter for a play date. You can ask the teacher and I'm sure she wouldn't suggest it. As a parent, who spent so much time researching schools for the the "right environment", you surely can't feel that environment is what you want for child. It may sound terrible, but I wouldn't welcome that. Besides, the school year is almost over and if this friend is staying in a shelter, he or she most likely won't be returning next year anyway.

+ 100

I agree. It's funny how this post has received over 1000 views and there are 25 comments of praise? Yeah, right! Let me get my popcorn! The truth is about to come out. I'm a parent with homeless children in my child's class and I would not entertain the idea of a play date outside of playing at the school playground after school.

This post is sock puppetted. The poster is giving a "+100" to herself. It actually makes me feel better that there is only one poster with such views.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you haven't met the mom or dad, I wouldn't do it. Shelter or not, you have to meet the parents. Besides, I would want my child to play/associate with some one who can reciprocate. You surely won't be sending your child to a shelter for a play date. You can ask the teacher and I'm sure she wouldn't suggest it. As a parent, who spent so much time researching schools for the the "right environment", you surely can't feel that environment is what you want for child. It may sound terrible, but I wouldn't welcome that. Besides, the school year is almost over and if this friend is staying in a shelter, he or she most likely won't be returning next year anyway.

This post is disgusting!

+1000

I confess. This post is disgustingly true. I personally wouldn't do it either. I hate to admit it. But no. I need to meet the parents of any child that would want to play outside of school. And if it's practically May and you haven't met or seen them anywhere - field trips, PTA , school programs, pick ups then I would let it go. The poster is probably right about the child moving anyway.

Interesting. This post is also from the same IP address as the first quoted message. No wonder the poster believes it is true.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you haven't met the mom or dad, I wouldn't do it. Shelter or not, you have to meet the parents. Besides, I would want my child to play/associate with some one who can reciprocate. You surely won't be sending your child to a shelter for a play date. You can ask the teacher and I'm sure she wouldn't suggest it. As a parent, who spent so much time researching schools for the the "right environment", you surely can't feel that environment is what you want for child. It may sound terrible, but I wouldn't welcome that. Besides, the school year is almost over and if this friend is staying in a shelter, he or she most likely won't be returning next year anyway.

This post is disgusting!

+1000

I confess. This post is disgustingly true. I personally wouldn't do it either. I hate to admit it. But no. I need to meet the parents of any child that would want to play outside of school. And if it's practically May and you haven't met or seen them anywhere - field trips, PTA , school programs, pick ups then I would let it go. The poster is probably right about the child moving anyway.

Interesting. This post is also from the same IP address as the first quoted message. No wonder the poster believes it is true.

Thanks for checking into this, Jeff. You highlight the fact that this poster sits alone in her/his mean little corner of the world.

OP, I hope the play date happens and the kids have a great time.