Anyone else have to pop a xanax to see in laws?

[Anonymous]

I just don't see them. DH takes DS to see them without me, and I make other plans when they are in town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don't see them. DH takes DS to see them without me, and I make other plans when they are in town.

This is what I am trying to do. How did you get to the point that your dh was ok with that? Did you ever feel like the inlaws won since they now get what they want, their kid and grand kids with the horrible dil?

I am over getting treated beyond horribly by his parents. I am to the point now that I do not want to see them. At all. If he wants to, lovely. I will find something else to do even if it's scrubbing toilets. But my dh will not go without me. If he did, I am fine with it but also deep down feel like it's what the inlaws want anyways. Me out of the picture. I think my dh is still wearing rose glasses thinking we will all get along again. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don't see them. DH takes DS to see them without me, and I make other plans when they are in town.

What do you about holidays? Sit alone at Christmas while they go over there? Or Mother's Day, etc?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, because that would signify drug dependency, which is not optimal.

If you're not a troll, what is the point of posting this? Is it really that important to make yourself feel superior to strangers? Is it impossible to consider that someone else might have an experience different than your own? Are you someone's nasty MIL?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just don't see them. DH takes DS to see them without me, and I make other plans when they are in town.

What do you about holidays? Sit alone at Christmas while they go over there? Or Mother's Day, etc?

They live on the other side of the country and don't visit for holidays because it's too expensive and they don't want to pay for airfare. They are coming out for Mother's Day this year and I have a business trip scheduled, and then will go see my mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just don't see them. DH takes DS to see them without me, and I make other plans when they are in town.

This is what I am trying to do. How did you get to the point that your dh was ok with that? Did you ever feel like the inlaws won since they now get what they want, their kid and grand kids with the horrible dil?

I am over getting treated beyond horribly by his parents. I am to the point now that I do not want to see them. At all. If he wants to, lovely. I will find something else to do even if it's scrubbing toilets. But my dh will not go without me. If he did, I am fine with it but also deep down feel like it's what the inlaws want anyways. Me out of the picture. I think my dh is still wearing rose glasses thinking we will all get along again. Any advice?

I just started making plans for when they were around. Started with errands while they were in town, or sending them on a sightseeing trip with DH and DS while I cleaned the house or was feeling "under the weather". Then I started scheduling trips when they announced they were coming. It's easy not to go there, as it involves a cross-country flight, which adds up when we buy three plane tickets, rent a car (they don't have one big enough to accommodate everyone), and board our dogs.

It doesn't bother me if they feel like they "won". I am just happy I don't have to deal with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don't see them. DH takes DS to see them without me, and I make other plans when they are in town.

They are too awful for you to be around, but you're totally cool with DC being around them?

[Anonymous]

No. Because then I would be like my inlaws. They are alcoholics who drink at every family function. I don't want my kids to think holidays are about getting drunk so we stopped going to their house. Now I can have happy family memories at my own home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Vodka is my numbing method of choice.

Mine is chardonnay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just don't see them. DH takes DS to see them without me, and I make other plans when they are in town.

They are too awful for you to be around, but you're totally cool with DC being around them?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just don't see them. DH takes DS to see them without me, and I make other plans when they are in town.

They are too awful for you to be around, but you're totally cool with DC being around them?

+1

NP here. My in-laws live 10 minutes from us and yes, I am ok with our kids being around them. My MIL is mean to me, not to the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just don't see them. DH takes DS to see them without me, and I make other plans when they are in town.

They are too awful for you to be around, but you're totally cool with DC being around them?

+1

NP here. My in-laws live 10 minutes from us and yes, I am ok with our kids being around them. My MIL is mean to me, not to the kids.

Not pp. My MIL is a lowly person and I am not OK with her being around DC without me even if she manages to put on her "ideal grammy" face when they're around. She treats my kids' parents poorly (that would be DH and I) so she doesn't get unchecked access to them.

[Anonymous]

I am down to seeing my MIL a handful of times per year and only for a few hours max at a time. I make plans for her to attend holiday celebrations -- Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and usually her birthday and a husband/child combo birthday. On Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter, I am cooking so I don't interact with her much. Birthdays we usually go out to lunch so I plan somewhere with fast service. Every now and then my husband makes noise about seeing her more. "We need to spend more time with my mom!" I just smile, nod, and enthusiastically respond, "Yes we do!" And then, here is the key, I do nothing. Works really well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not looking forward to Easter at in laws. Very poor communicators, very passive aggressive, MIL just wants a perfect family pic to post on facebook.

OP, I am so sorry. Unfortunately, you are not alone. In fact, I am convinced that is THE definition of IL's!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't do drugs plus I'm not a hateful, ungrateful DIL. One day won't hurt your bitch ass to be nice.

+1. I suppose it helps that mine are generally tolerable. I also try to go into it with a positive attitude - after all, they raised H so they must be worthy of at least some of my respect.

Well my MIL became a psychotic bitch after we had out second child--literally overnight. She could only have one kid and I think it kills her with jealousy that we have two. She ignores our youngest and is constantly telling us that our oldest doesn't measure up to what my DH was at the same age (because of my shitty parenting, of course).

They live 30 minutes away and have absolutely no interest in the kids at all--won't go to school events, sports, music recitals, nothing. But, we are expected to spend every holiday with them so they can have targets for their nastiness. We have started going out of town for all holidays to avoid them.