I escaped an informal cult: Ask me anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you tell us what type it was, without naming the group?

You know, I'd really prefer not to say. I apologize if I unintentionally created a guessing game about it.

[Anonymous]

It just makes the whole topic less interesting OP

Are you afraid of retribution if you share?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It just makes the whole topic less interesting OP

Are you afraid of retribution if you share?

I'm (pretty much irrationally) afraid to share that one thing.

[Anonymous]

Please find a safe therapist and get help for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Ok. Well, good luck. I hope things are better for you now.

[Anonymous]

Was there a charismatic tyrannical leader with loyal enforcers, as one so often hears?

We're members expected to work and give all money over? And do all the work for the leaders? What was the division of labor?

[Anonymous]

Good for you for getting out OP, but I'm sorry that you weren't better protected by the adults in your life. It sounds like you've basically been on your own since you were 17. That's too young. I've travelled a lot internationally and come across groups/families a few times whom I was pretty sure were involved in cult-like organizations, and I always wondered about the kids. They weren't in school, weren't being regularly seen by a pediatrician, and there were too many unsupervised adults around those kids, if you get my drift. I imagine you're glad you're out, but it must be lonely to be disconnected from your family. I hope you find people in life with whom you feel loved and protected.

[Anonymous]

Informal cults are strewn through this country's history. A friend's grandad ran one and left him and his siblings a fortune as a result of member donations. Is your ex-cult leader raking in the cash?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not scientology or one of the other ones you've heard of - it's much smaller.

Agape Mission Church??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It just makes the whole topic less interesting OP

Are you afraid of retribution if you share?

That's unfair, PP. Why does it matter which one? OP can still share his/her experience, which was probably pretty traumatic. Even in AMA threads, OP's can decline to answer questions if they so choose.

[Anonymous]

Has it affected your ability to form relationships? Or have you found love and lived happily ever after?

[Anonymous]

Did you have an education coming out of the cult? Seems like you were at least literate. Did you have a HS education? Since you were only 17 when you left, were you able to enroll and finish school when you got out?

Since you were a minor without proper documentation, did anyone help you or take you in? Were you put in foster care for year? How did find your first place & job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was there a charismatic tyrannical leader with loyal enforcers, as one so often hears?

We're members expected to work and give all money over? And do all the work for the leaders? What was the division of labor?

I did not find him to be charismatic, but yes. Or maybe he was charismatic in the earlier days and then just ruled by reputation of the earlier years combined with fear. The division of labor was pretty traditional except that women also did men's work but men never ever did women's work.

I never saw money. Like, ever. The buying went through a few people for everyone. So I'm not sure how that was working. My father had an outside job but I never heard about paydays or paychecks or anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has it affected your ability to form relationships? Or have you found love and lived happily ever after?

It definitely affected my ability to trust. I had some issues with men, and with men around children. There was a lot to unlearn for sure.
I have found love, and am happy now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you have an education coming out of the cult? Seems like you were at least literate. Did you have a HS education? Since you were only 17 when you left, were you able to enroll and finish school when you got out?

Since you were a minor without proper documentation, did anyone help you or take you in? Were you put in foster care for year? How did find your first place & job?

I had a pretty informal education. We were homeschooled, so you could go as fast as you were able/wanted to. But there were definitely times where you got "Tricia's delivering a baby so you need to work in the kitchen today" and did no schooling. And if Tricia was lazy and spent the next day "recovering" from midwifing, then you were back in the kitchen that day too. There were a lot of chain reactions to why things were done, and not much questioning when you were told to do something.

No, I was not in foster care. I was able to leave with my birth certificate which I stole along with money, and then got a social security card. It was unintentional but I wound up in a college town and was able to rent a room (technically a dining room made into a bedroom) by implying I was a college student. I got a job by walking into a tiny deli/corner store that had a handwritten help wanted sign. They paid off the books, which worked perfectly for me.