dating someone who is separated - is it ok?

[Anonymous]

I started dating DW before the divorce from first DW was final. It takes a whole year in some states.

[Anonymous]

I think a lot depends on how long they've been separated and how formal the process is.

Depending on the state, some couples file formal "separation papers" that spell out that they can see other people. I wouldn't have a problem dating someone in that circumstance.

OTOH, a colleague once separated from her husband, then reconciled w/in six months. She dated someone in the interim, but she was not in the frame of mind for any kind of serious relationship.

[Anonymous]

I think it really depends on the person and the situation.
In some cases, separated people are NOT ready to be dating. You'd end up being the rebound girl and probably the free therapist while they talked about their ex, and then they'd get serious about the next person, or end up sowing oats all over the place.

But in some cases, the relationship is basically over by the time the papers get filed and it's just a waiting game until everything is final.

Years ago, I hesitated to date a guy because he was only separated and still had anger toward his wife. The next girl he met (while we stayed friends) did not have the same qualms. He married her about a year later and they have a child and are happy. That made me wonder if I'd been too cautious!!

So... does he seem emotionally healthy and not entwined emotionally with his ex, other than in matters related to the kids? How's the relationship between them - amicable? How are the kids doing? If everything seems ok, proceed with caution!

[Anonymous]

Are you or he or stbx in Va?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you or he or stbx in Va?

No.


Thanks for all replies. I like him but am going to proceed very cautiously.