For parents whose children just received admission results

[Anonymous]

DD did the entire process herself, all I did was enter credit card information for the application fees and DH took her on visits. She researched the schools, maintained her school workload and grades and activities and made all the deadlines. This is obviously preferable if you have a kid who is motivated. Not all kids are (and I should add that there are other areas of her life in which she needs to get her act together).

It really is a matter of what each kid can do and needs. There are parents who are over involved and thats something you need to watch out for. if your child can do this, let him do this on his own. But some kids do need extra guidance.

BTW, this idea that this one decision is make or break is absurd. So many kids transfer these days. I also think that DCUMers give too much credit to where a person goes to college. In the long run it doesn't matter as much as you think it does.

[Anonymous]

It is not uncommon for students of all academic abilities to "freeze up" (think deer-in the-headlights) and not do what they need to do. DD's friend who is now at an Ivy had to be grounded to get her applications in. When this happens to low achieving students, sadly, parents thing they don't deserve to go to college. Not so. It is very common.

[Anonymous]

DD picked colleges based on some guidelines established by us. Together we theorized on a timeline and "chunks" of tasks. I enforced the schedule when I absolutely needed to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I wish my parents were as helpful as you all were when I was applying to undergrad back in '10. Neither of my parents went to college so I had absolutely no help in applying (even my counselor was of little help) but I ended up getting into 7 of the 8 schools I applied to. I couldn't imagine not taking charge. I know that you are all afraid of your kids not getting into good schools but perhaps in the future you should just let them figure it out on their own.

Very catty judgement to make on family dynamics that you are not privy to at all. Just because my kid is a senior doesn't mean that she still didn't need parenting, encouragement, and an extra kick in the pants to apply to colleges while maintaining her grades, her senior activities, and other issues that I won't divulge here. She still had to fill out the applications, write the essays, and attend alumni interviews. My role as a parent was to take her on college tours to get her interested, help her research the colleges that we thought would be a good fit both academically and financially, and not let her slack off.

Sorry that your parents showed absolutely no interest in your college academic career, but I don't think that's something that is right or appropriate for all families. We're paying for her education and we are invested in her, and it paid off in the way of acceptances and a good learning environment for the next four years of her life.

No need to be nasty. I'm the one with the lazy son and I'm sure I had to be more involved in the process than anyone else due to his laziness. However, I did not read PP's post as an indictment or judgment on my/our parenting.

He was simply making a point, and he was correct in his point. I should NOT have been as involved in the process as I was. No need to insult his family and pass judgment on his parents' interest in his academic career as I'm sure that like us, they wanted the best for him as well. They simply TRUSTED him to be able to handle the process. And he was. My kid on the other hand....At 18 I don't trust him to feed his own damn dog during the day. It is what it is.

Thank you. This is the poster of that original message. My intent was not to be catty. And let me just say to the rude person who replied to my post...how dare you think that my parents had no interest in my college academic career. Could you not read? The highest level of education they got was high school and it wasn't even in this country so it wasn't a matter of not wanting to help, it was a matter of not knowing at all how to help, you jerk. But whatever, you can be as rude as you want. I successfully got through undergrad in 3.5 years with a 3.96 GPA so I would say I did pretty well for someone who had no idea what college was going to be like at all.

Unfortunately, you didn't learn that name calling is childish. Most of us grow out of it by middle school. Your education is incomplete.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not uncommon for students of all academic abilities to "freeze up" (think deer-in the-headlights) and not do what they need to do. DD's friend who is now at an Ivy had to be grounded to get her applications in. When this happens to low achieving students, sadly, parents thing they don't deserve to go to college. Not so. It is very common.

Thanks for posting this. We're starting this process, and I have to drag DD along every step of the way. It's exhausting, but DD is not mature enough to drive this whole process. If I let her go her own way, she's going to end up in community college, and I know she'd be miserable there. She needs an academically challenging college, but she's used to having everything come to her, so she doesn't go after things.

It's always been this way with her, so why should college applications be any different. !7 year olds are still adolescents. Their brains don't mature until they are 25. I'm sure she'll be fine in college. She does well in school and is organized, but the college process is overwhelming these days, and at this point, it's not relevant to her. It's a PITA for me though! I'm going to do my best to enjoy it and make sure DD at least enjoys most of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I wish my parents were as helpful as you all were when I was applying to undergrad back in '10. Neither of my parents went to college so I had absolutely no help in applying (even my counselor was of little help) but I ended up getting into 7 of the 8 schools I applied to. I couldn't imagine not taking charge. I know that you are all afraid of your kids not getting into good schools but perhaps in the future you should just let them figure it out on their own.

Very catty judgement to make on family dynamics that you are not privy to at all. Just because my kid is a senior doesn't mean that she still didn't need parenting, encouragement, and an extra kick in the pants to apply to colleges while maintaining her grades, her senior activities, and other issues that I won't divulge here. She still had to fill out the applications, write the essays, and attend alumni interviews. My role as a parent was to take her on college tours to get her interested, help her research the colleges that we thought would be a good fit both academically and financially, and not let her slack off.

Sorry that your parents showed absolutely no interest in your college academic career, but I don't think that's something that is right or appropriate for all families. We're paying for her education and we are invested in her, and it paid off in the way of acceptances and a good learning environment for the next four years of her life.

No need to be nasty. I'm the one with the lazy son and I'm sure I had to be more involved in the process than anyone else due to his laziness. However, I did not read PP's post as an indictment or judgment on my/our parenting.

He was simply making a point, and he was correct in his point. I should NOT have been as involved in the process as I was. No need to insult his family and pass judgment on his parents' interest in his academic career as I'm sure that like us, they wanted the best for him as well. They simply TRUSTED him to be able to handle the process. And he was. My kid on the other hand....At 18 I don't trust him to feed his own damn dog during the day. It is what it is.

Thank you. This is the poster of that original message. My intent was not to be catty. And let me just say to the rude person who replied to my post...how dare you think that my parents had no interest in my college academic career. Could you not read? The highest level of education they got was high school and it wasn't even in this country so it wasn't a matter of not wanting to help, it was a matter of not knowing at all how to help, you jerk. But whatever, you can be as rude as you want. I successfully got through undergrad in 3.5 years with a 3.96 GPA so I would say I did pretty well for someone who had no idea what college was going to be like at all.

Unfortunately, you didn't learn that name calling is childish. Most of us grow out of it by middle school. Your education is incomplete.

Give me a break! As if you didn't read all the unnecessary vitriol in that poster's insane response! You must be that crazy lady, always looking to insult because you're so damned miserable. The fact that you want your insults to come off as condescending makes you appear even more pathetic. You/that poster all but said that man's parents didn't care about him and that she's a much better parent who will do a much better job. (Suspect given her daughter's "issues" that can't be divulged.)

Frankly, that Bat Lady was being a jerk. The poster was pretty easy on her considering her off the wall rant.

[Anonymous]

10:42 get to know The Common Data Set online (each college will have their own online, sometimes privates don't) and the online Undergraduate Catalogue.
It's a wealth of info, and if you study it, you will have a much better idea if a college is right for DC. When I say right-for-her, it's not that you are doing the choosing, it's that the college gets thrown in the mix to be considered. Important to know DC is likely to be successful. Some colleges aren't too hard to get into, but are hard to get out of (usually because of the major, or the requirements of the major, or the gpa to be admitted into the major. You get the idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I wish my parents were as helpful as you all were when I was applying to undergrad back in '10. Neither of my parents went to college so I had absolutely no help in applying (even my counselor was of little help) but I ended up getting into 7 of the 8 schools I applied to. I couldn't imagine not taking charge. I know that you are all afraid of your kids not getting into good schools but perhaps in the future you should just let them figure it out on their own.

Very catty judgement to make on family dynamics that you are not privy to at all. Just because my kid is a senior doesn't mean that she still didn't need parenting, encouragement, and an extra kick in the pants to apply to colleges while maintaining her grades, her senior activities, and other issues that I won't divulge here. She still had to fill out the applications, write the essays, and attend alumni interviews. My role as a parent was to take her on college tours to get her interested, help her research the colleges that we thought would be a good fit both academically and financially, and not let her slack off.

Sorry that your parents showed absolutely no interest in your college academic career, but I don't think that's something that is right or appropriate for all families. We're paying for her education and we are invested in her, and it paid off in the way of acceptances and a good learning environment for the next four years of her life.

No need to be nasty. I'm the one with the lazy son and I'm sure I had to be more involved in the process than anyone else due to his laziness. However, I did not read PP's post as an indictment or judgment on my/our parenting.

He was simply making a point, and he was correct in his point. I should NOT have been as involved in the process as I was. No need to insult his family and pass judgment on his parents' interest in his academic career as I'm sure that like us, they wanted the best for him as well. They simply TRUSTED him to be able to handle the process. And he was. My kid on the other hand....At 18 I don't trust him to feed his own damn dog during the day. It is what it is.

Thank you. This is the poster of that original message. My intent was not to be catty. And let me just say to the rude person who replied to my post...how dare you think that my parents had no interest in my college academic career. Could you not read? The highest level of education they got was high school and it wasn't even in this country so it wasn't a matter of not wanting to help, it was a matter of not knowing at all how to help, you jerk. But whatever, you can be as rude as you want. I successfully got through undergrad in 3.5 years with a 3.96 GPA so I would say I did pretty well for someone who had no idea what college was going to be like at all.

Unfortunately, you didn't learn that name calling is childish. Most of us grow out of it by middle school. Your education is incomplete.

Give me a break! As if you didn't read all the unnecessary vitriol in that poster's insane response! You must be that crazy lady, always looking to insult because you're so damned miserable. The fact that you want your insults to come off as condescending makes you appear even more pathetic. You/that poster all but said that man's parents didn't care about him and that she's a much better parent who will do a much better job. (Suspect given her daughter's "issues" that can't be divulged.)

Frankly, that Bat Lady was being a jerk. The poster was pretty easy on her considering her off the wall rant.

Very serious (physical) medical issues, but you stay classy and above the fray.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So for those who had to push their kids, what do you think will happen when they get to college and have to be completely self-motivated?

I have no reason to believe that my kid won't be able to do the work, she has balanced a heavy high school course load, volunteering, and ECs pretty well over the past four years. For some reason, she just did not apply herself when it came to the college application process. I'm not worried that this will somehow translate into her ability to deal with college, especially since she's already expressing remorse at not taking the process seriously when she had the chance.

The problem is that unless you take a gap year, you really have only one opportunity to get it right. Essays, interviews, test scores, recommendations, you have one shot at each school, and lacking in one area could mean being shut out forever.

The bolded is such as stressful position to take! Transfers are much easier than admissions in case of a shut-out. And so much is out of the kids' control, anyway, as schools often balance their incoming class geographically, racially and socioeconomically. My son wanted us to be involved, our daughter does in some regards and in other not. This is reflective of both their personalities.

I'm usually quite type A, but not regarding this process. There are so many good colleges, and so many ways to succeed in life, I just can't get stressed about it. Some kids simply mature later than others.

It is a very stressful thought to have, but I have wondered about it. I'm not sure, but I have read that it's harder for kids to transfer from four year universities rather than community colleges, so that's where the concern comes in. Community college of course isn't the end of the world and doesn't mean that the kid will fail academically, not suggesting that at all, but it's not for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I wish my parents were as helpful as you all were when I was applying to undergrad back in '10. Neither of my parents went to college so I had absolutely no help in applying (even my counselor was of little help) but I ended up getting into 7 of the 8 schools I applied to. I couldn't imagine not taking charge. I know that you are all afraid of your kids not getting into good schools but perhaps in the future you should just let them figure it out on their own.

Very catty judgement to make on family dynamics that you are not privy to at all. Just because my kid is a senior doesn't mean that she still didn't need parenting, encouragement, and an extra kick in the pants to apply to colleges while maintaining her grades, her senior activities, and other issues that I won't divulge here. She still had to fill out the applications, write the essays, and attend alumni interviews. My role as a parent was to take her on college tours to get her interested, help her research the colleges that we thought would be a good fit both academically and financially, and not let her slack off.

Sorry that your parents showed absolutely no interest in your college academic career, but I don't think that's something that is right or appropriate for all families. We're paying for her education and we are invested in her, and it paid off in the way of acceptances and a good learning environment for the next four years of her life.

No need to be nasty. I'm the one with the lazy son and I'm sure I had to be more involved in the process than anyone else due to his laziness. However, I did not read PP's post as an indictment or judgment on my/our parenting.

He was simply making a point, and he was correct in his point. I should NOT have been as involved in the process as I was. No need to insult his family and pass judgment on his parents' interest in his academic career as I'm sure that like us, they wanted the best for him as well. They simply TRUSTED him to be able to handle the process. And he was. My kid on the other hand....At 18 I don't trust him to feed his own damn dog during the day. It is what it is.

Thank you. This is the poster of that original message. My intent was not to be catty. And let me just say to the rude person who replied to my post...how dare you think that my parents had no interest in my college academic career. Could you not read? The highest level of education they got was high school and it wasn't even in this country so it wasn't a matter of not wanting to help, it was a matter of not knowing at all how to help, you jerk. But whatever, you can be as rude as you want. I successfully got through undergrad in 3.5 years with a 3.96 GPA so I would say I did pretty well for someone who had no idea what college was going to be like at all.

Unfortunately, you didn't learn that name calling is childish. Most of us grow out of it by middle school. Your education is incomplete.

Give me a break! As if you didn't read all the unnecessary vitriol in that poster's insane response! You must be that crazy lady, always looking to insult because you're so damned miserable. The fact that you want your insults to come off as condescending makes you appear even more pathetic. You/that poster all but said that man's parents didn't care about him and that she's a much better parent who will do a much better job. (Suspect given her daughter's "issues" that can't be divulged.)

Frankly, that Bat Lady was being a jerk. The poster was pretty easy on her considering her off the wall rant.

Very serious (physical) medical issues, but you stay classy and above the fray.

You can't come into a peaceful discussion and start the fray with a bunch of vitriol, accusations and nastiness then counsel others to stay classy.

Take your own advice, crazy lady.

And physical medical issues don't prevent one from completing an application process.

Clearly you've stressed your dear child as much as you would have the posters in here if we had to live with your overbearing ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I wish my parents were as helpful as you all were when I was applying to undergrad back in '10. Neither of my parents went to college so I had absolutely no help in applying (even my counselor was of little help) but I ended up getting into 7 of the 8 schools I applied to. I couldn't imagine not taking charge. I know that you are all afraid of your kids not getting into good schools but perhaps in the future you should just let them figure it out on their own.

Very catty judgement to make on family dynamics that you are not privy to at all. Just because my kid is a senior doesn't mean that she still didn't need parenting, encouragement, and an extra kick in the pants to apply to colleges while maintaining her grades, her senior activities, and other issues that I won't divulge here. She still had to fill out the applications, write the essays, and attend alumni interviews. My role as a parent was to take her on college tours to get her interested, help her research the colleges that we thought would be a good fit both academically and financially, and not let her slack off.

Sorry that your parents showed absolutely no interest in your college academic career, but I don't think that's something that is right or appropriate for all families. We're paying for her education and we are invested in her, and it paid off in the way of acceptances and a good learning environment for the next four years of her life.

No need to be nasty. I'm the one with the lazy son and I'm sure I had to be more involved in the process than anyone else due to his laziness. However, I did not read PP's post as an indictment or judgment on my/our parenting.

He was simply making a point, and he was correct in his point. I should NOT have been as involved in the process as I was. No need to insult his family and pass judgment on his parents' interest in his academic career as I'm sure that like us, they wanted the best for him as well. They simply TRUSTED him to be able to handle the process. And he was. My kid on the other hand....At 18 I don't trust him to feed his own damn dog during the day. It is what it is.

Thank you. This is the poster of that original message. My intent was not to be catty. And let me just say to the rude person who replied to my post...how dare you think that my parents had no interest in my college academic career. Could you not read? The highest level of education they got was high school and it wasn't even in this country so it wasn't a matter of not wanting to help, it was a matter of not knowing at all how to help, you jerk. But whatever, you can be as rude as you want. I successfully got through undergrad in 3.5 years with a 3.96 GPA so I would say I did pretty well for someone who had no idea what college was going to be like at all.

Unfortunately, you didn't learn that name calling is childish. Most of us grow out of it by middle school. Your education is incomplete.

Give me a break! As if you didn't read all the unnecessary vitriol in that poster's insane response! You must be that crazy lady, always looking to insult because you're so damned miserable. The fact that you want your insults to come off as condescending makes you appear even more pathetic. You/that poster all but said that man's parents didn't care about him and that she's a much better parent who will do a much better job. (Suspect given her daughter's "issues" that can't be divulged.)

Frankly, that Bat Lady was being a jerk. The poster was pretty easy on her considering her off the wall rant.

I said nothing offensive towards you or your parents, and certainly nothing that would justify you calling me a bitch, a jerk, and making rude comments about my child and her "issues". I stated that what your parents did for you does not apply to me and my situation, and I stand by that.

Saying your parents didn't care was harsh and it really wasn't a phrase I meant to use, and I apologize for that.

The conversation has thankfully moved on to more pleasant tones, and we're all here trying to help each other and figure out how to navigate this stressful and insane world of college admissions. I know my kid, I know what she's capable of, and I'm confident in my actual parenting abilities, so you continue to call me names if it makes you feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I wish my parents were as helpful as you all were when I was applying to undergrad back in '10. Neither of my parents went to college so I had absolutely no help in applying (even my counselor was of little help) but I ended up getting into 7 of the 8 schools I applied to. I couldn't imagine not taking charge. I know that you are all afraid of your kids not getting into good schools but perhaps in the future you should just let them figure it out on their own.

Very catty judgement to make on family dynamics that you are not privy to at all. Just because my kid is a senior doesn't mean that she still didn't need parenting, encouragement, and an extra kick in the pants to apply to colleges while maintaining her grades, her senior activities, and other issues that I won't divulge here. She still had to fill out the applications, write the essays, and attend alumni interviews. My role as a parent was to take her on college tours to get her interested, help her research the colleges that we thought would be a good fit both academically and financially, and not let her slack off.

Sorry that your parents showed absolutely no interest in your college academic career, but I don't think that's something that is right or appropriate for all families. We're paying for her education and we are invested in her, and it paid off in the way of acceptances and a good learning environment for the next four years of her life.

No need to be nasty. I'm the one with the lazy son and I'm sure I had to be more involved in the process than anyone else due to his laziness. However, I did not read PP's post as an indictment or judgment on my/our parenting.

He was simply making a point, and he was correct in his point. I should NOT have been as involved in the process as I was. No need to insult his family and pass judgment on his parents' interest in his academic career as I'm sure that like us, they wanted the best for him as well. They simply TRUSTED him to be able to handle the process. And he was. My kid on the other hand....At 18 I don't trust him to feed his own damn dog during the day. It is what it is.

Thank you. This is the poster of that original message. My intent was not to be catty. And let me just say to the rude person who replied to my post...how dare you think that my parents had no interest in my college academic career. Could you not read? The highest level of education they got was high school and it wasn't even in this country so it wasn't a matter of not wanting to help, it was a matter of not knowing at all how to help, you jerk. But whatever, you can be as rude as you want. I successfully got through undergrad in 3.5 years with a 3.96 GPA so I would say I did pretty well for someone who had no idea what college was going to be like at all.

Unfortunately, you didn't learn that name calling is childish. Most of us grow out of it by middle school. Your education is incomplete.

Give me a break! As if you didn't read all the unnecessary vitriol in that poster's insane response! You must be that crazy lady, always looking to insult because you're so damned miserable. The fact that you want your insults to come off as condescending makes you appear even more pathetic. You/that poster all but said that man's parents didn't care about him and that she's a much better parent who will do a much better job. (Suspect given her daughter's "issues" that can't be divulged.)

Frankly, that Bat Lady was being a jerk. The poster was pretty easy on her considering her off the wall rant.

I said nothing offensive towards you or your parents, and certainly nothing that would justify you calling me a bitch, a jerk, and making rude comments about my child and her "issues". I stated that what your parents did for you does not apply to me and my situation, and I stand by that.

Saying your parents didn't care was harsh and it really wasn't a phrase I meant to use, and I apologize for that.

The conversation has thankfully moved on to more pleasant tones, and we're all here trying to help each other and figure out how to navigate this stressful and insane world of college admissions. I know my kid, I know what she's capable of, and I'm confident in my actual parenting abilities, so you continue to call me names if it makes you feel better.

Again, you started with the nastiness.

The thread was perfectly cordial and helpful with parents who were very honest about their children's foibles and helpful insight on the amount of guidance needed depending on the child. Then YOU came along with the crazy.

It's great that you apologized but don't try to act like you weren't nasty and deserving of a comeback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I wish my parents were as helpful as you all were when I was applying to undergrad back in '10. Neither of my parents went to college so I had absolutely no help in applying (even my counselor was of little help) but I ended up getting into 7 of the 8 schools I applied to. I couldn't imagine not taking charge. I know that you are all afraid of your kids not getting into good schools but perhaps in the future you should just let them figure it out on their own.

Very catty judgement to make on family dynamics that you are not privy to at all. Just because my kid is a senior doesn't mean that she still didn't need parenting, encouragement, and an extra kick in the pants to apply to colleges while maintaining her grades, her senior activities, and other issues that I won't divulge here. She still had to fill out the applications, write the essays, and attend alumni interviews. My role as a parent was to take her on college tours to get her interested, help her research the colleges that we thought would be a good fit both academically and financially, and not let her slack off.

Sorry that your parents showed absolutely no interest in your college academic career, but I don't think that's something that is right or appropriate for all families. We're paying for her education and we are invested in her, and it paid off in the way of acceptances and a good learning environment for the next four years of her life.

No need to be nasty. I'm the one with the lazy son and I'm sure I had to be more involved in the process than anyone else due to his laziness. However, I did not read PP's post as an indictment or judgment on my/our parenting.

He was simply making a point, and he was correct in his point. I should NOT have been as involved in the process as I was. No need to insult his family and pass judgment on his parents' interest in his academic career as I'm sure that like us, they wanted the best for him as well. They simply TRUSTED him to be able to handle the process. And he was. My kid on the other hand....At 18 I don't trust him to feed his own damn dog during the day. It is what it is.

Thank you. This is the poster of that original message. My intent was not to be catty. And let me just say to the rude person who replied to my post...how dare you think that my parents had no interest in my college academic career. Could you not read? The highest level of education they got was high school and it wasn't even in this country so it wasn't a matter of not wanting to help, it was a matter of not knowing at all how to help, you jerk. But whatever, you can be as rude as you want. I successfully got through undergrad in 3.5 years with a 3.96 GPA so I would say I did pretty well for someone who had no idea what college was going to be like at all.

Unfortunately, you didn't learn that name calling is childish. Most of us grow out of it by middle school. Your education is incomplete.

Give me a break! As if you didn't read all the unnecessary vitriol in that poster's insane response! You must be that crazy lady, always looking to insult because you're so damned miserable. The fact that you want your insults to come off as condescending makes you appear even more pathetic. You/that poster all but said that man's parents didn't care about him and that she's a much better parent who will do a much better job. (Suspect given her daughter's "issues" that can't be divulged.)

Frankly, that Bat Lady was being a jerk. The poster was pretty easy on her considering her off the wall rant.

Very serious (physical) medical issues, but you stay classy and above the fray.

You can't come into a peaceful discussion and start the fray with a bunch of vitriol, accusations and nastiness then counsel others to stay classy.

Take your own advice, crazy lady.

And physical medical issues don't prevent one from completing an application process.

Clearly you've stressed your dear child as much as you would have the posters in here if we had to live with your overbearing ass.

I don't think I ever said that her physical issues prevented her from completing her applications? They totally didn't. Her attitude prevented her from completing her applications on time, but dealing with her physical ailments certainly didn't help her morale.

She's on an overnight stay at the college of her choice at this very minute, having a great time and decidedly not stressed. Please try not to feel too badly about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I wish my parents were as helpful as you all were when I was applying to undergrad back in '10. Neither of my parents went to college so I had absolutely no help in applying (even my counselor was of little help) but I ended up getting into 7 of the 8 schools I applied to. I couldn't imagine not taking charge. I know that you are all afraid of your kids not getting into good schools but perhaps in the future you should just let them figure it out on their own.

Very catty judgement to make on family dynamics that you are not privy to at all. Just because my kid is a senior doesn't mean that she still didn't need parenting, encouragement, and an extra kick in the pants to apply to colleges while maintaining her grades, her senior activities, and other issues that I won't divulge here. She still had to fill out the applications, write the essays, and attend alumni interviews. My role as a parent was to take her on college tours to get her interested, help her research the colleges that we thought would be a good fit both academically and financially, and not let her slack off.

Sorry that your parents showed absolutely no interest in your college academic career, but I don't think that's something that is right or appropriate for all families. We're paying for her education and we are invested in her, and it paid off in the way of acceptances and a good learning environment for the next four years of her life.

No need to be nasty. I'm the one with the lazy son and I'm sure I had to be more involved in the process than anyone else due to his laziness. However, I did not read PP's post as an indictment or judgment on my/our parenting.

He was simply making a point, and he was correct in his point. I should NOT have been as involved in the process as I was. No need to insult his family and pass judgment on his parents' interest in his academic career as I'm sure that like us, they wanted the best for him as well. They simply TRUSTED him to be able to handle the process. And he was. My kid on the other hand....At 18 I don't trust him to feed his own damn dog during the day. It is what it is.

Thank you. This is the poster of that original message. My intent was not to be catty. And let me just say to the rude person who replied to my post...how dare you think that my parents had no interest in my college academic career. Could you not read? The highest level of education they got was high school and it wasn't even in this country so it wasn't a matter of not wanting to help, it was a matter of not knowing at all how to help, you jerk. But whatever, you can be as rude as you want. I successfully got through undergrad in 3.5 years with a 3.96 GPA so I would say I did pretty well for someone who had no idea what college was going to be like at all.

Unfortunately, you didn't learn that name calling is childish. Most of us grow out of it by middle school. Your education is incomplete.

Give me a break! As if you didn't read all the unnecessary vitriol in that poster's insane response! You must be that crazy lady, always looking to insult because you're so damned miserable. The fact that you want your insults to come off as condescending makes you appear even more pathetic. You/that poster all but said that man's parents didn't care about him and that she's a much better parent who will do a much better job. (Suspect given her daughter's "issues" that can't be divulged.)

Frankly, that Bat Lady was being a jerk. The poster was pretty easy on her considering her off the wall rant.

I said nothing offensive towards you or your parents, and certainly nothing that would justify you calling me a bitch, a jerk, and making rude comments about my child and her "issues". I stated that what your parents did for you does not apply to me and my situation, and I stand by that.

Saying your parents didn't care was harsh and it really wasn't a phrase I meant to use, and I apologize for that.

The conversation has thankfully moved on to more pleasant tones, and we're all here trying to help each other and figure out how to navigate this stressful and insane world of college admissions. I know my kid, I know what she's capable of, and I'm confident in my actual parenting abilities, so you continue to call me names if it makes you feel better.

Again, you started with the nastiness.

The thread was perfectly cordial and helpful with parents who were very honest about their children's foibles and helpful insight on the amount of guidance needed depending on the child. Then YOU came along with the crazy.

It's great that you apologized but don't try to act like you weren't nasty and deserving of a comeback.

There is absolutely nothing that was said in this thread by anyone that is deserving of a woman being called a bitch.

But this is an anon forum and it's part of the territory. I apologize for saying that your parents didn't care, and that's about it. You still know absolutely nothing about current application processes and should not even be participating in this thread.

[Anonymous]

I did everything myself.

Then my dad went on the family computer and edited my essays and creative writing samples behind my back without me knowing right before I sent out the first round of apps.

I did not realize this until sending out the second rounds of apps to different schools.

The edits he made were horrible. I got into every single one of the schools with the jan 15 deadlines and none of the schools with the jan 1 deadlines (that got the ones he edited).

I'm still annoyed by this. I know I need to let it go but....