Surrogacy in India

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually PP, thank you. I just realized that not only would very few women be surrogates, but it would be every likely that it isn't their choice. My guess is that most Indian surrogates are forced by their husbands or whomever to do so in order to make that person money.

Guess away. As usual, DCUM half-wits deciding they know something based on nothing other than speculation.

Tell me, which regulations control surrogacy in Indian? When surrogates are selected, what's in the psychological portion of the evaluation? Do you have reason to believe it is ineffective at screening for these types of issues? Or, do you think Indian mental health professionals are unaware that some women may face these pressures? Also, most women enter into surrogacy because they feel compassion for the infertile couple. That is true in India as well as in the US. Do you think that Indian surros can't have compassion? Further, some Indian fertility clinics have been at the forefront of the fight for GLBT rights in that country (surrogacy is very important, especially for gay men who want families) and have also fought against the practices of femicide and gender selection. Do you know which clinics these are? There are certain best practices to minimize the likelihood of exploitation. Do you know what these are?

Look, no one is going to say that in a country as big as India, that has certain general cultural norms and is at a certain stage of development, that exploitation isn't part of the picture. That would just be stupid. But to "guess" that the entire country and every person, every doctor, and every surro in it all act and think and behave in the same way is equally stupid.

Come back to the thread when you move from guessing to knowing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually PP, thank you. I just realized that not only would very few women be surrogates, but it would be every likely that it isn't their choice. My guess is that most Indian surrogates are forced by their husbands or whomever to do so in order to make that person money.

Guess away. As usual, DCUM half-wits deciding they know something based on nothing other than speculation.

Tell me, which regulations control surrogacy in Indian? When surrogates are selected, what's in the psychological portion of the evaluation? Do you have reason to believe it is ineffective at screening for these types of issues? Or, do you think Indian mental health professionals are unaware that some women may face these pressures? Also, most women enter into surrogacy because they feel compassion for the infertile couple. That is true in India as well as in the US. Do you think that Indian surros can't have compassion? Further, some Indian fertility clinics have been at the forefront of the fight for GLBT rights in that country (surrogacy is very important, especially for gay men who want families) and have also fought against the practices of femicide and gender selection. Do you know which clinics these are? There are certain best practices to minimize the likelihood of exploitation. Do you know what these are?

Look, no one is going to say that in a country as big as India, that has certain general cultural norms and is at a certain stage of development, that exploitation isn't part of the picture. That would just be stupid. But to "guess" that the entire country and every person, every doctor, and every surro in it all act and think and behave in the same way is equally stupid.

Come back to the thread when you move from guessing to knowing.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Gay friends of ours did it successfully. If you work with a reputable clinic it can be done, and you can minimize the amount of time you need to stay there afterwards.

We looked into it a bit.
I believe there's an agency in NJ that sets it up for you, if you want help.
Adoptions From the Heart
Roberta Evantash, coordinator
610-642-7200

The clinic they go through is:
KIRAN INTERNATIONAL CTR, HYDERBAD
You can also contact the clinic directly, which is cheaper than using Adoptions from the Heart.

Hope that helps!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm interested in what the cost difference is. We did GC in the US -- EVERYTHING (had twins, period of bed rest for GC, etc, 2 IVF cycles, our eggs/sperm (no egg donor)) totalled around $125K.

In India, all of that is quoted to be around $40,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm interested in what the cost difference is. We did GC in the US -- EVERYTHING (had twins, period of bed rest for GC, etc, 2 IVF cycles, our eggs/sperm (no egg donor)) totalled around $125K.

In India, all of that is quoted to be around $40,000

Of which the surrogate makes a minuscule amount. The reason it's cheap is because the woman is being underpaid.

[Anonymous]

I thought women weren't allowed to be paid except for covering all their dr costs, gas/parking fees, maternity clothes, babysitting for other kids during dr visits, etc. I didn't think they were allowed to get another sum of money as a "gift".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm interested in what the cost difference is. We did GC in the US -- EVERYTHING (had twins, period of bed rest for GC, etc, 2 IVF cycles, our eggs/sperm (no egg donor)) totalled around $125K.

In India, all of that is quoted to be around $40,000

Of which the surrogate makes a minuscule amount. The reason it's cheap is because the woman is being underpaid.

I'm sure they do make a little but their lifestyle and cost of living is very different than ours so you cannot even compare the two. It is no different than a birthparent in the US getting "expenses" including rent, cell phone, utilities, clothing and other stuff or a surrogacy in the US. Unfortunately a basic newborn adoption will most likely be over $40,000 so I can see how this is an appealing option.

[Anonymous]

I understand all the reasons that people would explore this as an option, but I personally cannot get past the extremely colonialist mindset that says it's perfectly okay for a wealthy Western to go to a developing country and pay 1/3 the American price tag for a poor woman to carry a child for them. I also cannot get past the obvious and very real issues with the way that many parts of Indian culture treat women and girls. I would never be able to be 100% sure that the surrogate was not being coerced in some fashion.

I know that the same sort of economic coercion happens in the US and that surrogacy and adoption are by and large a luxury industry that people do not engage with unless they have the resources to do so. But given the colonial history of India and the gender issues that are pervasive in Indian society, I would personally not be comfortable with it and would have a hard time respecting friends of mine who chose that route, but that's a result of my personal politics and I don't know anyone personally who has chosen an Indian surrogate, so it's largely theoretical for me.

[Anonymous]

Because 8k to an Indian woman is a lot of money and many Indian women view it as a great opportunity to provide for their family. It is much more than they would make otherwise. Just research how much they get paid. It's not like u r taking advantage of them. They get something out of it and some women also love a feeling of giving to another woman who can not have a child. It is not by force!! There are reputable clinics. You can meet the woman, visit the woman if u wish. You can keep giving to her over time. I see this as a beautiful thing.

If you can have children on your own then you don't even have frame of reference for this but at least you could try to understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand all the reasons that people would explore this as an option, but I personally cannot get past the extremely colonialist mindset that says it's perfectly okay for a wealthy Western to go to a developing country and pay 1/3 the American price tag for a poor woman to carry a child for them. I also cannot get past the obvious and very real issues with the way that many parts of Indian culture treat women and girls. I would never be able to be 100% sure that the surrogate was not being coerced in some fashion.

I know that the same sort of economic coercion happens in the US and that surrogacy and adoption are by and large a luxury industry that people do not engage with unless they have the resources to do so. But given the colonial history of India and the gender issues that are pervasive in Indian society, I would personally not be comfortable with it and would have a hard time respecting friends of mine who chose that route, but that's a result of my personal politics and I don't know anyone personally who has chosen an Indian surrogate, so it's largely theoretical for me.

Ok, so don't do it. That does not mean that others have to make the same choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand all the reasons that people would explore this as an option, but I personally cannot get past the extremely colonialist mindset that says it's perfectly okay for a wealthy Western to go to a developing country and pay 1/3 the American price tag for a poor woman to carry a child for them. I also cannot get past the obvious and very real issues with the way that many parts of Indian culture treat women and girls. I would never be able to be 100% sure that the surrogate was not being coerced in some fashion.

I know that the same sort of economic coercion happens in the US and that surrogacy and adoption are by and large a luxury industry that people do not engage with unless they have the resources to do so. But given the colonial history of India and the gender issues that are pervasive in Indian society, I would personally not be comfortable with it and would have a hard time respecting friends of mine who chose that route, but that's a result of my personal politics and I don't know anyone personally who has chosen an Indian surrogate, so it's largely theoretical for me.

You raised politics, so may I ask if you are a member of the Tea Party or perhaps the Greens? I ask because you exhibit a similar pattern of reasoning. You define an enduring (some would say simple) principle based largely on an unconscious emotional reaction and insist on sticking to it, despite being presented with complicating facts or the messiness of reality (always far grayer than the black/white world to which you appear to cling). Then you define your position as the morally superior one and look down on anyone who doesn't agree with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand all the reasons that people would explore this as an option, but I personally cannot get past the extremely colonialist mindset that says it's perfectly okay for a wealthy Western to go to a developing country and pay 1/3 the American price tag for a poor woman to carry a child for them. I also cannot get past the obvious and very real issues with the way that many parts of Indian culture treat women and girls. I would never be able to be 100% sure that the surrogate was not being coerced in some fashion.

I know that the same sort of economic coercion happens in the US and that surrogacy and adoption are by and large a luxury industry that people do not engage with unless they have the resources to do so. But given the colonial history of India and the gender issues that are pervasive in Indian society, I would personally not be comfortable with it and would have a hard time respecting friends of mine who chose that route, but that's a result of my personal politics and I don't know anyone personally who has chosen an Indian surrogate, so it's largely theoretical for me.

I'm the PP who posted the info a about clinics. We felt the same way, so are doing a GC here in the YS. Our funds are limited and it may mean that we don't get our baby, but we just weren't comfortable with the India option. It's impossible to know if the women are being coerced or not, and the agencies we talked to don't allow any contact between you and the surrogate. That was a major red flag to me.

[Anonymous]

I'm the poster that painted a very clear cultural picture earlier.

To add to the picture - how often do you think rich Indians give to charity? Would you be shocked to know that the answer is virtually none? How about people who volunteer in their community? Or something as simple as don't throw trash on the street?

Civic pride, giving back, charity are all western ideals. Christian ideals, in fact. There is no basis in eastern culture for these values. Even with western influences (which some modern Indians interpret simply as western women are loose and sleep around), they don't think like us. The world is not one giant America.

I assure all of the skeptics on this thread that economic coercion is real, but the women likely won't see a cent of that money. Their husbands will probably use it to drink and do drugs (if we're talking about the kind of women in a desperate enough situation to not just sell their body, but sell their womb).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the poster that painted a very clear cultural picture earlier.

To add to the picture - how often do you think rich Indians give to charity? Would you be shocked to know that the answer is virtually none? How about people who volunteer in their community? Or something as simple as don't throw trash on the street?

Civic pride, giving back, charity are all western ideals. Christian ideals, in fact. There is no basis in eastern culture for these values. Even with western influences (which some modern Indians interpret simply as western women are loose and sleep around), they don't think like us. The world is not one giant America.

I assure all of the skeptics on this thread that economic coercion is real, but the women likely won't see a cent of that money. Their husbands will probably use it to drink and do drugs (if we're talking about the kind of women in a desperate enough situation to not just sell their body, but sell their womb).

Wow. Just. Wow.

What you don't know is a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the poster that painted a very clear cultural picture earlier.

To add to the picture - how often do you think rich Indians give to charity? Would you be shocked to know that the answer is virtually none? How about people who volunteer in their community? Or something as simple as don't throw trash on the street?

Civic pride, giving back, charity are all western ideals. Christian ideals, in fact. There is no basis in eastern culture for these values. Even with western influences (which some modern Indians interpret simply as western women are loose and sleep around), they don't think like us. The world is not one giant America.

I assure all of the skeptics on this thread that economic coercion is real, but the women likely won't see a cent of that money. Their husbands will probably use it to drink and do drugs (if we're talking about the kind of women in a desperate enough situation to not just sell their body, but sell their womb).

Wow. Just. Wow.

What you don't know is a lot.

Look, you are the poster of few words that has contributed absolutely nothing to this thread. Go to India, live there for a while and come back and tell us what you have found.