"Because I'm Your Mother and I Said So!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if your kid questions another adult about something they should be respectful about though?

Adult: Jennifer, show June where to hang up her coat and put her shoes.
June: At my house we just hang out coats over the railing so that's where I put mine.
Adult: June, at our house coats go in the closet. Please take your coat and follow Jennifer. She will show you where to hang it up.
June: Why? It's just fine where it is.
Adult: June, I did not ask your opinion about whether your coat goes in the closet or not. Our house rules are that coats go in the closet. Please go with Jennifer and hang up your coat.
June: I still don't understand why I have to. My coat is not bothering anyone and when I leave I have to go get it back out again.

If I am the Adult and June is my kid's friend, guess who won't be invited back. My kid is older than 6 and I have seen a lot of Junes. I totally understand allowing your kid to push boundaries at home, but requiring children to follow rules and respect authority does not equal "blind obedience."

If I was a child at your house I would attack you full on psycho style. Just to ruffle your feathers.

[Anonymous]

When DD asks why, even in a whiny voice, I try to give one sincere but simple explanation.

If she persists and it seems argumentative (rather than genuinely curious or confused), I give her a very simple warning not to argue with me about it. No additional explanation.

If she continues to argue, she gets a consequence for arguing.

The consequence often leads to tears and drama (as consequences often do in our house), but it's definitely cut down on the arguing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if your kid questions another adult about something they should be respectful about though?

Adult: Jennifer, show June where to hang up her coat and put her shoes.
June: At my house we just hang out coats over the railing so that's where I put mine.
Adult: June, at our house coats go in the closet. Please take your coat and follow Jennifer. She will show you where to hang it up.
June: Why? It's just fine where it is.
Adult: June, I did not ask your opinion about whether your coat goes in the closet or not. Our house rules are that coats go in the closet. Please go with Jennifer and hang up your coat.
June: I still don't understand why I have to. My coat is not bothering anyone and when I leave I have to go get it back out again.

If I am the Adult and June is my kid's friend, guess who won't be invited back. My kid is older than 6 and I have seen a lot of Junes. I totally understand allowing your kid to push boundaries at home, but requiring children to follow rules and respect authority does not equal "blind obedience."

I agree. I just do it with much simpler language.

"That's the rule in our house. Please go hang up your coat."

If he or she argues, I just repeat, "That's the rule here."

No further explanation or justification for guests who try to ignore or argue with me about our house rules.

This is my approach for all sorts of unwanted behavior we see when friends come over:

"That's the rule in our house. Please stop jumping on the furniture."

"That's the rule in our house. Please stop throwing toys down the stairs."

"That's the rule in our house. Please bring the food back into the kitchen."

"That's the rule in our house. Please stop teasing [younger DC]."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if your kid questions another adult about something they should be respectful about though?

Adult: Jennifer, show June where to hang up her coat and put her shoes.
June: At my house we just hang out coats over the railing so that's where I put mine.
Adult: June, at our house coats go in the closet. Please take your coat and follow Jennifer. She will show you where to hang it up.
June: Why? It's just fine where it is.
Adult: June, I did not ask your opinion about whether your coat goes in the closet or not. Our house rules are that coats go in the closet. Please go with Jennifer and hang up your coat.
June: I still don't understand why I have to. My coat is not bothering anyone and when I leave I have to go get it back out again.

If I am the Adult and June is my kid's friend, guess who won't be invited back. My kid is older than 6 and I have seen a lot of Junes. I totally understand allowing your kid to push boundaries at home, but requiring children to follow rules and respect authority does not equal "blind obedience."

If I was a child at your house I would attack you full on psycho style. Just to ruffle your feathers.

Really? Are you truly that rude that you would provoke someone who invited you over to her house?

Are you really that aggressive and unpleasant?

Or are you just trying to ruffle our feathers on this thread?

Either way, I hope you don't pass your bad attitude on to your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if your kid questions another adult about something they should be respectful about though?

Adult: Jennifer, show June where to hang up her coat and put her shoes.
June: At my house we just hang out coats over the railing so that's where I put mine.
Adult: June, at our house coats go in the closet. Please take your coat and follow Jennifer. She will show you where to hang it up.
June: Why? It's just fine where it is.
Adult: June, I did not ask your opinion about whether your coat goes in the closet or not. Our house rules are that coats go in the closet. Please go with Jennifer and hang up your coat.
June: I still don't understand why I have to. My coat is not bothering anyone and when I leave I have to go get it back out again.

If I am the Adult and June is my kid's friend, guess who won't be invited back. My kid is older than 6 and I have seen a lot of Junes. I totally understand allowing your kid to push boundaries at home, but requiring children to follow rules and respect authority does not equal "blind obedience."

OP here and I completely agree with this. Those of you who allow your 6 year olds to "question" adults like this must have real little terrors on your hands!

So you posed the question just to get people to agree with you? You are passive aggressive too aren't you. Your husband tells you this but you don't know what he is talking about.

[Anonymous]

Kids know how to push our buttons. My kid is only 4 and lately has been asking "why? Why? Why? Why?" (just like I wrote) and then says: "I will keep asking why…" For everything, even afar I answer. So yeah, now my answer is: "because I told you so." I am not going to engage in these little games.