Would you let your almost-13 year old, 7th grade DD go to a movie with a 7th grade boy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do kids have crushes and raging hormones? Yes.

Will dating make it worse? Maybe. Why take that chance?



Do married people have crushes and raging libidos. Yes.

Will hanging out with people of opposite sex, who are also available and attractive, alone, in non-work related situations- lead to improper behavior. Maybe. Why take that chance?

Exactly!!! You are playing your just turned teen to be alone with a boy. Once the movies are done and it gets serious in a few months, then what? You already condoned it. No turning back now.

What? If I let my seventh-grade daughter go to a movie with a boy, then in a few months they'll be having "improper behavior", and I will have condoned it, and there's no turning back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope, what is the purpose of a 13 yr old dating? Is she looking for a mate? a relationship? Unlikely.

If she wants to be friends and they like each other - fine, but they don't need to spend time alone together to explore those feelings at 13.

I know some people are perfectly fine with sexual exploration at 13 and would just give her condoms and encourage her to safe but I think 13 is way too young.

What is the purpose of anybody dating? Is dating only ok if you're planning to get married?

OP is not asking whether she should allow her seventh-grade daughter to be having condom-requiring sexual contact. OP is asking whether she should allow her seventh-grade daughter to go to a movie.

[Anonymous]

My parents were pretty conservative with me as a kid, and they let me go to a movie with a boy when I was in 7th grade. I was dropped off and picked up right after. It was totally harmless. I guess parents are a lot more paranoid these days.

[Anonymous]

Yowza! Some of the "if/then" logic on this thread is astounding!

Like some PPs on here, I recall 8th, 7th, and even (yipes!) 6th graders "going together." Sometimes a movie was involved, sometimes rollerskating, sometimes ice skating. The kids who went on these outings (can you call it a date if the most touching involved is hand-holding?) were no more likely to have sex at an early age than the kids who weren't "dating." In fact, the girls in HS I knew who were the most sexually active weren't "dating" anyone. Their parents didn't know squat, either.

At least OP's daughter is talking to her now about boys. I imagine if DD gets shot down a few more times though when asking permission (for something as innocent as a movie), she could just stop asking and start acting behind her parents' backs.

[Anonymous]

We let my daughter go to a movie (with parental pick up and drop off) with a boy from school (we knew the boy and the family pretty well). It was uneventful --he had a crush on her but she was not that interested so they only hung out a couple of times and then it was done. She is now in high school and no ill effects of that early "date". She recently went to her first school dance with an official date but no real dating or relationships.

I agree with PPs that it is ridiculous to think that these kinds of baby relationships in young teens are somehow going to lead straight to early sex. Didn't others have years and years of interest in boys and developing from a "first kiss" and kissing as a big deal until there was any thought of actually having sex? Learning how to deal with the emotions of a crush and "breakup" is part of growing up and I'd rather DD start to learn that after a silly movie date than when she is head over heels with someone in high school.

[Anonymous]

I'd make her brother bring a friend and go with them. They get along well and are very close in age. I think my little girl could handle herself well, it's just that I like the message that this would send.

We're not at the dating stage yet, but I would like to draw any potential girlfriends or boyfriends into our family atmosphere. Pizza night at our house with a special movie. Outings - theater, Folk Life, sports event.

[Anonymous]

Several of my friends were having sex at 13. One had a baby at 13. The other two at 15. They weren't going out on dates, though. Just hooking up at home while parents were still at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'd make her brother bring a friend and go with them. They get along well and are very close in age. I think my little girl could handle herself well, it's just that I like the message that this would send.

We're not at the dating stage yet, but I would like to draw any potential girlfriends or boyfriends into our family atmosphere. Pizza night at our house with a special movie. Outings - theater, Folk Life, sports event.

What message?

The message I'm thinking of is "Daughter, you need your male family members to protect you from boys and men", but surely that's not the one you're thinking of? I'm asking sincerely.

[Anonymous]

You know he will be all over her the minute the lights go down. So, if you are okay with that....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know he will be all over her the minute the lights go down. So, if you are okay with that....

I don't know that. How do you know that? And why do you have such a low opinion of boys?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know he will be all over her the minute the lights go down. So, if you are okay with that....

I don't know that. How do you know that? And why do you have such a low opinion of boys?

Hahaha, your comment just reminded me of my first movie date with a boy. The lights went down and he leaned over... and I elbowed him. Boy, was he disappointed to learn that when I go to a movie, I want to actually WATCH the movie!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know he will be all over her the minute the lights go down. So, if you are okay with that....

I have a dd19 and just this year we talked about "what if" dd14 wanted to go on a date. She said as long as it is not the movies. Upon pressure she told me middle schoolers go and "make-out and stuff" and sometimes even leave the theater. Ugh! So happy my oldest was not into dating or boys until 16 but my 14yr old seems a little more anxious.

OP, slow her down.

[Anonymous]

Not alone at the age of 12. That is way way too young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yowza! Some of the "if/then" logic on this thread is astounding!

Like some PPs on here, I recall 8th, 7th, and even (yipes!) 6th graders "going together." Sometimes a movie was involved, sometimes rollerskating, sometimes ice skating. The kids who went on these outings (can you call it a date if the most touching involved is hand-holding?) were no more likely to have sex at an early age than the kids who weren't "dating." In fact, the girls in HS I knew who were the most sexually active weren't "dating" anyone. Their parents didn't know squat, either.

At least OP's daughter is talking to her now about boys. I imagine if DD gets shot down a few more times though when asking permission (for something as innocent as a movie), she could just stop asking and start acting behind her parents' backs.

Exactly what I was thinking. Exactly my experience as a middle-schooler in the 80s--lots of "going together" and movie "dates." No correlation with age of first sexual activity.

And the whole "protect your daughter" mindset just blows my mind. As does the assumption that 13 yo boys are just a bunch of predators who will jump all over innocent girls under cover of darkness in a movie theater. Get a grip, people.

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course. I did this at that age and it was very innocent. Parents dropped us off and picked us up. I seem to remember the kids with the strictest parents getting into the most trouble.