Did you hire a personal coach for your child's sport?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mean she decided NOT to participate?

Yes, sorry. Dropped the word NOT.

She saw the commitment involved and what she'd have to give up so chose not to do it.

If I were you, I would have made her do it or told her she owed me the money I spend on the coach. Your kid sounds pretty entitled to have her parent hire her a personal coach to make a team, then make the team and decide not to participate because it would be too much effort.

I'm curious about something: Were you born an insufferable, rude twat, or did you learn that behavior later?

I hired a personal coach before tryouts so she would have some idea of what to expect and to develop some skills. She didn't "have" me hire her a personal coach -- it was something I decided to do for her to put her on equal footing with the competition.

Do NOT feed the trolls, PP.

It's her choice to not participate. Playing on the team would have meant giving up a musical instrument, a school play, and some church activities. She's far too young to specialize in a sport. I respect her thought process. She was good enough to be on the team, but didn't want to do that thing exclusively.

She can always do it later.

As for you, your remarks about her being "entitled" sound like projection. I'm sorry to learn that you completely fucking up your children's upbringing, but please don't take it out on others. Keep your failures to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mean she decided NOT to participate?

Yes, sorry. Dropped the word NOT.

She saw the commitment involved and what she'd have to give up so chose not to do it.

If I were you, I would have made her do it or told her she owed me the money I spend on the coach. Your kid sounds pretty entitled to have her parent hire her a personal coach to make a team, then make the team and decide not to participate because it would be too much effort.

I'm curious about something: Were you born an insufferable, rude twat, or did you learn that behavior later?

I hired a personal coach before tryouts so she would have some idea of what to expect and to develop some skills. She didn't "have" me hire her a personal coach -- it was something I decided to do for her to put her on equal footing with the competition.

It's her choice to not participate. Playing on the team would have meant giving up a musical instrument, a school play, and some church activities. She's far too young to specialize in a sport. I respect her thought process. She was good enough to be on the team, but didn't want to do that thing exclusively.

She can always do it later.

As for you, your remarks about her being "entitled" sound like projection. I'm sorry to learn that you completely fucking up your children's upbringing, but please don't take it out on others. Keep your failures to yourself.

PP, YOU MUST NOT HAVE BEEN POSTING ON DCUM FOR VERY LONG. DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid doesn't have a sport, so no fucking personal coach needed.

why does anyone need a fucking coach? Most people figure it out on their own.

and no parent would hire a coach for THAT.

I dunno, every once in a while you hear about dads arranging prostitutes for teen boys. Does that qualify as a coach?

Maybe so. If they get good enough, do they qualify for a travel team?

[Anonymous]

I think the hiring of coaches is much more common in certain communities. My workers in MoCo seem to all hire coaches/trainers for their kids. I have looked into hiring a basketball skills trainer for my kid because he is terrible and just wants to not look bad in front of his friends (and not so he can be some type of pro). I have tried to work with him, but there are reason people say you should never coach your own kid (they interpret any coaching as criticism).

[Anonymous]

Yes OP, it is actually fairly common and not just for "Potomac/Bethesda types" as someone tried to allege here. My kid wanted to try out for tennis and needed help on serves. So, we hired a coach. It was a nice experience. I used to do private swim coaching a hundred years ago when I was a college student to make money.

[Anonymous]

I don't see why it is that odd. My dd's were on swim team this summer and requested to also continue swim lessons. On swim team, they didn't get much assistance with their strokes. I hired a college student once a week to give each of them a lesson. And I am definitely not rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What has the world come to? Everyone that rich?

Not sure why it's that different from private music lessons vs group lessons. My kid runs track. There are about 80-100 kids on the team depending on the season. So not a lot of personal attention. A private coach on form/strategy would be useful.

Perhaps. But coaches are typically pretty good at recognizing the ones with talent and giving them attention. Even with our hs's track team of over 150, the coaches can tell you who has potential. They may miss some kids who have a deep desire, but these kids too will typically make themselves known over time. TBH, if you feel your kid can't do it without their own running coach, they don't have it. I say this as someone who ran in college myself and knows several kids who are elite runners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What has the world come to? Everyone that rich?

Not sure why it's that different from private music lessons vs group lessons. My kid runs track. There are about 80-100 kids on the team depending on the season. So not a lot of personal attention. A private coach on form/strategy would be useful.

Perhaps. But coaches are typically pretty good at recognizing the ones with talent and giving them attention. Even with our hs's track team of over 150, the coaches can tell you who has potential. They may miss some kids who have a deep desire, but these kids too will typically make themselves known over time. TBH, if you feel your kid can't do it without their own running coach, they don't have it. I say this as someone who ran in college myself and knows several kids who are elite runners.

PP here - actually my DC has been recruited to run in college and has been to the state championships several times now so at least has some of it. But that doesn't mean she still couldn't use some help to continue to improve. The coach simply doesn't have the time to work with the kids individually. As you must know at this level it comes down to seconds/fractions of seconds so it's the small things that make a difference.

[Anonymous]

I don't now why so many people are hating on private coaches. I don't see it as any different than private lessons/sessions for anything else. You have an interest in something and want to do it better or achieve a goal.

We've hired coaches a few times to help our kids with sports - not because we want them to compete at the upper levels (it's highly unlikely they ever will) but because sports don't come naturally to them and they desperately want to participate. Our kids also have some known motor planning/coordination issues which aren't apparent to the typical person but for which they've received OT/PT for. We could go back to PT/OT for assistance in sports but, frankly, it's a lot cheaper and more appropriate to hire a coach, the kids are far more motivated and they learn 'technique' and strategies the OT/PTs usually can't provide. Working with a private coach helps our kids learn in a safe, non-pressure, humiliation-free environment. I don't care if the kids later decide to quit. At least after some coaching, I'll know they're quitting because they're not interested rather than because of their limitations/challenges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What has the world come to? Everyone that rich?

Not sure why it's that different from private music lessons vs group lessons. My kid runs track. There are about 80-100 kids on the team depending on the season. So not a lot of personal attention. A private coach on form/strategy would be useful.

Perhaps. But coaches are typically pretty good at recognizing the ones with talent and giving them attention. Even with our hs's track team of over 150, the coaches can tell you who has potential. They may miss some kids who have a deep desire, but these kids too will typically make themselves known over time. TBH, if you feel your kid can't do it without their own running coach, they don't have it. I say this as someone who ran in college myself and knows several kids who are elite runners.

PP here - actually my DC has been recruited to run in college and has been to the state championships several times now so at least has some of it. But that doesn't mean she still couldn't use some help to continue to improve. The coach simply doesn't have the time to work with the kids individually. As you must know at this level it comes down to seconds/fractions of seconds so it's the small things that make a difference.

I hear what you're saying,PP. But obviously, since your daughter has been recruited to run in college, she did not need individual coaching to get there. Probably every athlete in the world would benefit from having an individual coach -- and certainly world class athletes have them. But in this area I think the individual coaching often falls into the arena of trying to push someone of means something that they couldn't achieve on their own. The world is changing, I know, but figuring out something for yourself and using your hard work and ingenuity to get it -- without mommy and daddy's or some paid help is still a valuable skill to have. I hate to think private coaches would become another must-have like tutors, where in certain neighborhoods parents feel their kids need them, just to keep up -- or to achieve at the level the parents would like them to. Can't see how a well-regarded sports camp couldn't provide what most kids need -- particularly those who want it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't now why so many people are hating on private coaches. I don't see it as any different than private lessons/sessions for anything else. You have an interest in something and want to do it better or achieve a goal.

We've hired coaches a few times to help our kids with sports - not because we want them to compete at the upper levels (it's highly unlikely they ever will) but because sports don't come naturally to them and they desperately want to participate. Our kids also have some known motor planning/coordination issues which aren't apparent to the typical person but for which they've received OT/PT for. We could go back to PT/OT for assistance in sports but, frankly, it's a lot cheaper and more appropriate to hire a coach, the kids are far more motivated and they learn 'technique' and strategies the OT/PTs usually can't provide. Working with a private coach helps our kids learn in a safe, non-pressure, humiliation-free environment. I don't care if the kids later decide to quit. At least after some coaching, I'll know they're quitting because they're not interested rather than because of their limitations/challenges.

I agree. I have hired coaches for swimming and hockey. In both cases, I thought my kid was not progressing in a group setting. I actually found the private lessons improved development much more quickly than the 'team' setting where the coach is managing drills with limited teaching to individuals. Some kids have parents that can teach their kids how to skate, hit a baseball, etc. I am not that parent, so why not hire someone. I do know that I am fortunate enough to afford these things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The world is changing, I know, but figuring out something for yourself and using your hard work and ingenuity to get it -- without mommy and daddy's or some paid help is still a valuable skill to have.

This is such a strange thing to say. My child takes music lessons. Sure, I could provide her with the instrument and books and have her figure it out for herself and use her hard work and ingenuity to get it, but when there are people who can guide her and help her avoid self-taught pitfalls and make sure she's actually getting it, why would I? I don't have to lock my child or myself in a blank room and require we derive all knowledge ourselves.

What areas do you see as acceptable for allowing others to teach, and what areas do you think should be learned through solely personal pursuit?

[Anonymous]

Personal coach is preferable, especially for individual sports like tennis or ice skating.

Group coaching should be adequate for team sports like soccer, basketball, or football.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The world is changing, I know, but figuring out something for yourself and using your hard work and ingenuity to get it -- without mommy and daddy's or some paid help is still a valuable skill to have.

This is such a strange thing to say. My child takes music lessons. Sure, I could provide her with the instrument and books and have her figure it out for herself and use her hard work and ingenuity to get it, but when there are people who can guide her and help her avoid self-taught pitfalls and make sure she's actually getting it, why would I? I don't have to lock my child or myself in a blank room and require we derive all knowledge ourselves.

What areas do you see as acceptable for allowing others to teach, and what areas do you think should be learned through solely personal pursuit?

I think these are rich people's problems.

From where you stand you probably don't see the difference, but I do believe that some of the most creative and talented people in the world learn by doing. To have someone come in and start correcting a child or showing them what they view as proper technique at a young age, reduces the opportunity for him/her to experiment and find their own unique way of doing things. I have similar biases against private art and creative writing teachers for the same reason. As far as private coaches go, most of the parents I have seen hiring them around where we live are doing it as much to motivate, push their kids and give them an edge, as to teach them, which I don't believe is effective.

I also think that what once the bizarre exception (that kid who has the private basketball coach in 4th grade) quickly becomes the rule in this area's parental arms race.

Part of what bothers me is that whether the answer is parents giving their kids a pill or hiring a tutor or a private coach, young people are being taught that too many of the answers come from outside themselves. I think this is dangerous. It is good to seek help sometimes. It is also good to flounder at times and have to figure things out on your own. (A truly driven runner who needs work on technique can find videos online, go to camp, read struggles of other runners, or ask the school coach, top runners for advice.) There are plenty of children who will be competing with ours someday who are not getting all this extra help and will grow up stronger and more resilient because of it.

I realize many parents and some cultures view this very differently, but that's my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Oh dear god I hope it wasn't this person who was just arrested for sex abuse.

http://www.mymcpnews.com/2013/12/10/detectives-arrest-private-athletic-coach-for-abuse-of-student/