Reply to Did you hire a personal coach for your child's sport?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
The world is changing, I know, but figuring out something for yourself and using your hard work and ingenuity to get it -- without mommy and daddy's or some paid help is still a valuable skill to have.   [/quote]

This is such a strange thing to say. My child takes music lessons. Sure, I could provide her with the instrument and books and have her figure it out for herself and use her hard work and ingenuity to get it, but when there are people who can guide her and help her avoid self-taught pitfalls and make sure she's actually getting it, why would I? I don't have to lock my child or myself in a blank room and require we derive all knowledge ourselves.

[b]What areas do you see as acceptable for allowing others to teach, and what areas do you think should be learned through solely personal pursuit?[/quote][/b]

I think these are rich people's problems.

From where you stand you probably don't see the difference, but I do believe that some of the most creative and talented people in the world learn by doing.  To have someone come in and start correcting a child or showing them what they view as proper technique at a young age, reduces the opportunity for him/her to experiment and find their own unique way of doing things.  I have similar biases against private art and creative writing teachers for the same reason.   As far as private coaches go, most of the parents I have seen hiring them around where we live are doing it as much to motivate, push their kids and give them an edge, as to teach them, which I don't believe is effective.

I also think that what once the bizarre exception (that kid who has the private basketball coach in 4th grade) quickly becomes the rule in this area's parental arms race.

Part of what bothers me is that whether the answer is parents giving their kids a pill or hiring a tutor or a private coach, young people are being taught that too many of the answers come from outside themselves.  I think this is dangerous. It is good to seek help sometimes.  It is also good to flounder at times and have to figure things out on your own. (A truly driven runner who needs work on technique can find videos online, go to camp, read struggles of other runners, or ask the school coach, top runners for advice.)  There are plenty of children who will be competing with ours someday who are not getting all this extra help and will grow up stronger and more resilient because of it.

I realize many parents and some cultures view this very differently, but that's my opinion.  [/quote]

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