Youth pastor who doesn't have kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Background checks don't find everything. Also, pedophiles often go unreported even when caught b/c churches/schools don't want to deal with the stigma associated with them.

Having children or not isn't a determining factor.

OP, you sound put off with the way he was hired and maybe you just don't like him. More than likely, he's fine.

Yeah it sounds to me like Op is unhappy with the church and how they hired people. Sounds like a conflict with others or maybe she expected/wanted someone else to get that position. So now she is looking for a issue so she can make a big deal about leaving. Plant the seed of gossip that the new youth pastor might be a child molester. That will show them as she flounces off in a huff of drama.

Actually, know. Allow me to correct the many assumptions out of your post that made an ass out of you (but not me).

1) You used the wrong pronoun. I'm not a "she."
2) I have no conflict with others, nor did I have a candidate I was favoring for the job.
3) If I leave, it will be quietly, without any drama. I get that you have a penchant for drama, but other people are not like you. It might behoove you to consider that once in a while.
4) I have not vocalized my reservations about this guy anywhere but here. I'm not a gossip. See, 3, to review my instruction for how you are to conduct yourself in the future.

I'm not sure what's going on in your life for you to react in the manner that you did. I do not know the source of your anger or conjecture. But unless you can keep your outbursts in check, I must insist ask that you not contribute to this thread anymore. If you do, I will report the post and have Jeff delete it.

This posts leads me to believe this is the OP's problem, not the pastor's. That PP didn't react in anger, she just posted a snarky conjecture, no different or more unfounded than your own OP.

Your controlling statement that "you must insist" blah blah or you'll have Jeff delete is indicative of a personality problem. I think if you react this strongly to an intent post, it's very likely you are over reacting in real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he is gay but doesn't realize or believe it.

And if he were??

One of our youth program directors is gay. Quietly, but openly. As in, if you ask he'll tell you. Otherwise, he doesn't talk about it.

He NEVER tries to have private conversations that seek exclusive confidences, etc. There is zero creep factor, and I'm happy he runs the programs he runs.

If there is a creep factor (that is different from your unhappiness with institutional politics) pay attention to your alarm system.

[Anonymous]

What types of activities will he be doing with the kids? Our youth director has 2 other helpers (one just out of college and one parent) who are always at the meetings. Parents tag along as drivers or helpers on many of the outings. Plus the kids are always at activities as groups. Might be worth seeing how the kids feel about him 9if the activities are "open" enough that they seem safe) before making judgements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Background checks don't find everything. Also, pedophiles often go unreported even when caught b/c churches/schools don't want to deal with the stigma associated with them.

Having children or not isn't a determining factor.

OP, you sound put off with the way he was hired and maybe you just don't like him. More than likely, he's fine.

Yeah it sounds to me like Op is unhappy with the church and how they hired people. Sounds like a conflict with others or maybe she expected/wanted someone else to get that position. So now she is looking for a issue so she can make a big deal about leaving. Plant the seed of gossip that the new youth pastor might be a child molester. That will show them as she flounces off in a huff of drama.

Actually, know. Allow me to correct the many assumptions out of your post that made an ass out of you (but not me).

1) You used the wrong pronoun. I'm not a "she."
2) I have no conflict with others, nor did I have a candidate I was favoring for the job.
3) If I leave, it will be quietly, without any drama. I get that you have a penchant for drama, but other people are not like you. It might behoove you to consider that once in a while.
4) I have not vocalized my reservations about this guy anywhere but here. I'm not a gossip. See, 3, to review my instruction for how you are to conduct yourself in the future.

I'm not sure what's going on in your life for you to react in the manner that you did. I do not know the source of your anger or conjecture. But unless you can keep your outbursts in check, I must insist ask that you not contribute to this thread anymore. If you do, I will report the post and have Jeff delete it.

This posts leads me to believe this is the OP's problem, not the pastor's. That PP didn't react in anger, she just posted a snarky conjecture, no different or more unfounded than your own OP.

Your controlling statement that "you must insist" blah blah or you'll have Jeff delete is indicative of a personality problem. I think if you react this strongly to an intent post, it's very likely you are over reacting in real life.

+1. Op sounds like a a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a mainstream Protestant church, with a largely upper middle class membership. We had several youth pastors. None had any children when they were hired, and most weren't married. All were just out of seminary. Granted, this was in the SF Bay Area, which is expensive, but I can't figure out how you can get someone with kids in a major metropolitan area to work for the kind of salary that a youth pastor gets.

That said, this business of becoming a confidant for the kids could be dicey. A youth pastor will often become a confidant, as they are dealing with a population that is pulling away from their parents, but should it be deliberate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he is gay but doesn't realize or believe it.

And if he were??

I'm sure you understand that being gay is inconsistent with professing Christian faith, right?

Really? Because Jesus Christ spoke out against homosexuals? Or because it says so in Leviticus -- which Christians follow faithfully?