Youth pastor who doesn't have kids

[Anonymous]

I would be concerned if he tried to be alone with kids. I wouldn't necessarily leave, but I wouldn't leave my kids alone with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your church require a background check for those working with children? My methodist church does. I would call the church office and inquire. He and his wife may not be able to have children, but I also don't blame you for following your instincts.

Yeah, they do. There was a rumor about a delay in hiring b/c of some delay in background checks. I get that there could be infertility, but I'm still a little guarded when I meet people without children who want to work with them. He's trying to set himself as some sort of confident and have secret conversations with kids and confidential prayer requests, etc. I said I hope there's some other adult line of oversight in place there.

This is a big red flag. I'd pull my kids for that fact alone. That's grooming behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he is gay but doesn't realize or believe it.

And if he were??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your church require a background check for those working with children? My methodist church does. I would call the church office and inquire. He and his wife may not be able to have children, but I also don't blame you for following your instincts.

Yeah, they do. There was a rumor about a delay in hiring b/c of some delay in background checks. I get that there could be infertility, but I'm still a little guarded when I meet people without children who want to work with them. He's trying to set himself as some sort of confident and have secret conversations with kids and confidential prayer requests, etc. I said I hope there's some other adult line of oversight in place there.

This is a big red flag. I'd pull my kids for that fact alone. That's grooming behavior.

I agree. The bolded part is what I found alarming.

[Anonymous]

Yes, OP, I think you are right to be concerned. If you get a bad feeling, go with it. You do not need to say anything about to others if you don't want but back away from the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he is gay but doesn't realize or believe it.

And if he were??

I'm sure you understand that being gay is inconsistent with professing Christian faith, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Background checks don't find everything. Also, pedophiles often go unreported even when caught b/c churches/schools don't want to deal with the stigma associated with them.

Having children or not isn't a determining factor.

OP, you sound put off with the way he was hired and maybe you just don't like him. More than likely, he's fine.

Yeah it sounds to me like Op is unhappy with the church and how they hired people. Sounds like a conflict with others or maybe she expected/wanted someone else to get that position. So now she is looking for a issue so she can make a big deal about leaving. Plant the seed of gossip that the new youth pastor might be a child molester. That will show them as she flounces off in a huff of drama.

Actually, know. Allow me to correct the many assumptions out of your post that made an ass out of you (but not me).

1) You used the wrong pronoun. I'm not a "she."
2) I have no conflict with others, nor did I have a candidate I was favoring for the job.
3) If I leave, it will be quietly, without any drama. I get that you have a penchant for drama, but other people are not like you. It might behoove you to consider that once in a while.
4) I have not vocalized my reservations about this guy anywhere but here. I'm not a gossip. See, 3, to review my instruction for how you are to conduct yourself in the future.

I'm not sure what's going on in your life for you to react in the manner that you did. I do not know the source of your anger or conjecture. But unless you can keep your outbursts in check, I must insist ask that you not contribute to this thread anymore. If you do, I will report the post and have Jeff delete it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Background checks don't find everything. Also, pedophiles often go unreported even when caught b/c churches/schools don't want to deal with the stigma associated with them.

Having children or not isn't a determining factor.

OP, you sound put off with the way he was hired and maybe you just don't like him. More than likely, he's fine.

Yeah it sounds to me like Op is unhappy with the church and how they hired people. Sounds like a conflict with others or maybe she expected/wanted someone else to get that position. So now she is looking for a issue so she can make a big deal about leaving. Plant the seed of gossip that the new youth pastor might be a child molester. That will show them as she flounces off in a huff of drama.

Actually, know. Allow me to correct the many assumptions out of your post that made an ass out of you (but not me).

1) You used the wrong pronoun. I'm not a "she."
2) I have no conflict with others, nor did I have a candidate I was favoring for the job.
3) If I leave, it will be quietly, without any drama. I get that you have a penchant for drama, but other people are not like you. It might behoove you to consider that once in a while.
4) I have not vocalized my reservations about this guy anywhere but here. I'm not a gossip. See, 3, to review my instruction for how you are to conduct yourself in the future.

I'm not sure what's going on in your life for you to react in the manner that you did. I do not know the source of your anger or conjecture. But unless you can keep your outbursts in check, I must insist ask that you not contribute to this thread anymore. If you do, I will report the post and have Jeff delete it.

Maybe the OP is attracted to the new hire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Background checks don't find everything. Also, pedophiles often go unreported even when caught b/c churches/schools don't want to deal with the stigma associated with them.

Having children or not isn't a determining factor.

OP, you sound put off with the way he was hired and maybe you just don't like him. More than likely, he's fine.

Yeah it sounds to me like Op is unhappy with the church and how they hired people. Sounds like a conflict with others or maybe she expected/wanted someone else to get that position. So now she is looking for a issue so she can make a big deal about leaving. Plant the seed of gossip that the new youth pastor might be a child molester. That will show them as she flounces off in a huff of drama.

Actually, know. Allow me to correct the many assumptions out of your post that made an ass out of you (but not me).

1) You used the wrong pronoun. I'm not a "she."
2) I have no conflict with others, nor did I have a candidate I was favoring for the job.
3) If I leave, it will be quietly, without any drama. I get that you have a penchant for drama, but other people are not like you. It might behoove you to consider that once in a while.
4) I have not vocalized my reservations about this guy anywhere but here. I'm not a gossip. See, 3, to review my instruction for how you are to conduct yourself in the future.

I'm not sure what's going on in your life for you to react in the manner that you did. I do not know the source of your anger or conjecture. But unless you can keep your outbursts in check, I must insist ask that you not contribute to this thread anymore. If you do, I will report the post and have Jeff delete it.

Maybe the OP is attracted to the new hire.

No, that's not it. What would make you even suggest this possibility>

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he is gay but doesn't realize or believe it.

And if he were??

I'm sure you understand that being gay is inconsistent with professing Christian faith, right?

No, it's not. Acting on it is. Big difference.

[Anonymous]

I think you should listen to your gut, because there might be something to it.

But I don't think the fact that he is a youth pastor who doesn't have kids is indicative of anything. Plenty of people who don't have kids still work with kids. Plus, isn't being a youth pastor often the step you have to take before being a real pastor? I have several friends who are ministers who were first youth pastors.

[Anonymous]

I should also add, he should not be alone with kids. No one in his position should be alone with kids. I have a couple of male teachers who teach a private schools in the area. They are instructed to never be alone with the kids in order to protect against false accusations.

[Anonymous]

Google him.

[Anonymous]

Google "youth pastor arrested" sometime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he is gay but doesn't realize or believe it.

And if he were??

I'm sure you understand that being gay is inconsistent with professing Christian faith, right?

No, it's not. Acting on it is. Big difference.

Sorry, acting on it is not "inconsistent with professing Christian faith" either. Perhaps it is in your particular sect, but certainly not universally.