stood up

[Anonymous]

OP, if he showed up at my door with flowers and an apology, I'd give him another chance. A text doesn't cut it.

[Anonymous]

He sounds like a mess. He stands you up because he overslept and then can't even pull himself together to call you like a fully grown adult. Move along. Sorry, but as another poster wrote, he showed you who he is. Believe it.

P.S. I know it's disappointing and I'm sorry it didn't work out differently.

[Anonymous]

The one guy I dated who missed a date because he fell asleep had a marijuana and alcohol problem.

[Anonymous]

OP, reread the post from PP about her friend who married the guy who left her at the airport initially because he "forgot". That could be you one day with this guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will break from the pack on this one. I would not be insulted by the text. If they are in the habit of communicating that way, it seems perfectly normal to me. I strongly dislike talking on the phone, so text is fine with me.

OP, what COULD he do to make it up to you? If I was you, and still wanted to see him, I would say something along the lines of "I was pretty upset that you stood me up, but I am interested in you and would like to try again." Then suggest the activity that YOU would like.

If you really like him, recognize that sometimes things happen. If it happens again, cut him off.

Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will break from the pack on this one. I would not be insulted by the text. If they are in the habit of communicating that way, it seems perfectly normal to me. I strongly dislike talking on the phone, so text is fine with me.

OP, what COULD he do to make it up to you? If I was you, and still wanted to see him, I would say something along the lines of "I was pretty upset that you stood me up, but I am interested in you and would like to try again." Then suggest the activity that YOU would like.

If you really like him, recognize that sometimes things happen. If it happens again, cut him off.

Agree

Only if OP is on the lookout for other ways the guy is a flake ...

If he is a flake but nice/okay otherwise, then maybe date casually but don't expect it to change just because he's MARRIED.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will break from the pack on this one. I would not be insulted by the text. If they are in the habit of communicating that way, it seems perfectly normal to me. I strongly dislike talking on the phone, so text is fine with me.

OP, what COULD he do to make it up to you? If I was you, and still wanted to see him, I would say something along the lines of "I was pretty upset that you stood me up, but I am interested in you and would like to try again." Then suggest the activity that YOU would like.

If you really like him, recognize that sometimes things happen. If it happens again, cut him off.

Agree

Only if OP is on the lookout for other ways the guy is a flake ...

If he is a flake but nice/okay otherwise, then maybe date casually but don't expect it to change just because he's MARRIED.

I'm the original PP who said that sometimes, things happen. My point was that if she really likes him, I see no reason why he should not be given a second chance. If she's not willing to give him a second chance, she clearly was more into the fantasy of him than him as a person who has flaws and makes mistakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will break from the pack on this one. I would not be insulted by the text. If they are in the habit of communicating that way, it seems perfectly normal to me. I strongly dislike talking on the phone, so text is fine with me.

OP, what COULD he do to make it up to you? If I was you, and still wanted to see him, I would say something along the lines of "I was pretty upset that you stood me up, but I am interested in you and would like to try again." Then suggest the activity that YOU would like.

If you really like him, recognize that sometimes things happen. If it happens again, cut him off.

Agree

Only if OP is on the lookout for other ways the guy is a flake ...

If he is a flake but nice/okay otherwise, then maybe date casually but don't expect it to change just because he's MARRIED.

I'm the original PP who said that sometimes, things happen. My point was that if she really likes him, I see no reason why he should not be given a second chance. If she's not willing to give him a second chance, she clearly was more into the fantasy of him than him as a person who has flaws and makes mistakes.

This is not a typical, forgivable "flaw".
This is thoughtlessness, disrespect and the mark of a loser - he isn't in his early twenties.

[Anonymous]

"I don't believe for one minute he fell asleep. Sorry, OP. Something "better' came along, and he blew you off and offered a ridiculous excuse. You dodged a bullet, completely classless and immature. Think of it as your lucky day to avoid spending an evening with this guy "

+1. Simply the fact that he scheduled two weeks in advance, instead of wanting to go out as soon as possible, means he is not that into you and has had another women in play and was waiting to see how that went while keeping you on a string.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will break from the pack on this one. I would not be insulted by the text. If they are in the habit of communicating that way, it seems perfectly normal to me. I strongly dislike talking on the phone, so text is fine with me.

OP, what COULD he do to make it up to you? If I was you, and still wanted to see him, I would say something along the lines of "I was pretty upset that you stood me up, but I am interested in you and would like to try again." Then suggest the activity that YOU would like.

If you really like him, recognize that sometimes things happen. If it happens again, cut him off.

Agree

Only if OP is on the lookout for other ways the guy is a flake ...

If he is a flake but nice/okay otherwise, then maybe date casually but don't expect it to change just because he's MARRIED.

I'm the original PP who said that sometimes, things happen. My point was that if she really likes him, I see no reason why he should not be given a second chance. If she's not willing to give him a second chance, she clearly was more into the fantasy of him than him as a person who has flaws and makes mistakes.

This is not a typical, forgivable "flaw".
This is thoughtlessness, disrespect and the mark of a loser - he isn't in his early twenties.

Fine, for you, it's not a typical, forgivable flaw. I'm just saying that for me, if apology was offered and I was actually, really interested in him, I would want to at least go on a date with him so that I could gauge if I was further interested in him.

[Anonymous]

OP back again,

To the posters who think there is another woman (or women) Usually I would suspect that but I know in this case he really was asleep- I think the 21:00 hit on something and it is possible he drank and smoked all day and then passed out. I don't have a problem with pot smoking because I do so occasionally, but you have to be able to function- and figuring he maybe got drunk and then passed out for our date is even more disappointing.

I will also say to the person who would maybe give him another chance, I think if he offered me a sincere apology- meaning more than just a two line text the next day- that and some sort of reasonable explanation as to why this happened, I would have given it a shot because I really thought I liked him and was crushed he flaked. But he is slinking away and not interested in doing that so it is not something I am gonna have to worry about at this point.

I appreciate all the responses, I feel much better today than I have since Saturday!

[Anonymous]

What time was the date? How early did he fall asleep on a Saturday night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What time was the date? How early did he fall asleep on a Saturday night?

I heard from him at 5:30 saying he was getting ready and then I never heard from him again!

[Anonymous]

I'm the person who said to consider giving him another chance. I guess you have your answer. Out of curiosity, have you heard from him since?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the person who said to consider giving him another chance. I guess you have your answer. Out of curiosity, have you heard from him since?

I responded to his text the next day saying that the fact that he was sleeping didn't make me feel less rejected, but I also said- not that we couldn't try again but I was still kinda hurt. He responded "okay" to that and I haven't heard from him since...

He then posted on Facebook about what an idiot he is sometimes and I heard from our mutual friend that he is feeling sorry for himself about it.