I have no sex drive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how you stand it. We can only get together two or three times a week and I'm miserable. How can you bear the lack of affection?

If sex is the only time you're getting any affection, it sounds like your relationship has other problems.

It's not the only time we share affection. We kiss each other and tell each other we love one another every day, which is why we still have a sex life. It's just not the daily affair it once was.

I'm baffled at people who never have sex and still manage to stay married. It sounds inevitable that at least one partner would seek out an affair.

And I'm baffled at people who don't understand that people have different needs related to sex and can be perfectly happy in a marriage without much sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how you stand it. We can only get together two or three times a week and I'm miserable. How can you bear the lack of affection?

If sex is the only time you're getting any affection, it sounds like your relationship has other problems.

It's not the only time we share affection. We kiss each other and tell each other we love one another every day, which is why we still have a sex life. It's just not the daily affair it once was.

I'm baffled at people who never have sex and still manage to stay married. It sounds inevitable that at least one partner would seek out an affair.

And I'm baffled at people who don't understand that people have different needs related to sex and can be perfectly happy in a marriage without much sex.

Some can even be perfectly happy in a marriage without much sex even as their spouse is unhappy in a marriage without much sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how you stand it. We can only get together two or three times a week and I'm miserable. How can you bear the lack of affection?

If sex is the only time you're getting any affection, it sounds like your relationship has other problems.

It's not the only time we share affection. We kiss each other and tell each other we love one another every day, which is why we still have a sex life. It's just not the daily affair it once was.

I'm baffled at people who never have sex and still manage to stay married. It sounds inevitable that at least one partner would seek out an affair.

And I'm baffled at people who don't understand that people have different needs related to sex and can be perfectly happy in a marriage without much sex.

How can you be perfectly happy in a marriage without much sex when you know your spouse doesn't feel the same way? Does it not in any way bother you that your spouse is miserable? I always find it so odd when people don't give a damn about how their spouse feels, it is all me, me, me. Yet on the other hand they expect their spouse to care about how they feel.

Unless both people have no sex drive and are both 100% fine with minimal or no sex then neither spouse should feel perfectly happy in the marriage.

[Anonymous]

Please fix it. This will come to bite you sometime in the future. So even if both of you are happy like this- eventually, one of you will change your mind.
Fix it. This is a medical problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know where my sex drive has gone, but it is not there. We still have sex about every 2.5 weeks, maybe more, but if it were up to my sex drive it would never happen. I love my husband, and know the importance of sex, but the drive is not there. We have 2 kids, the youngest is age 1, hoping that as the kids get older things will change.

OP, what people will not tell you is that, most women do not want sex after menopause. They will have it just to please the husband, but women can cut out sex altogether after 50 yo. That explains why these politicians' wives stick with their cheating husbands. Look at Hilary and Spitzer's wife.

This has got to be a stereotype. Signed, a near-50 y.o. DW definitely still into it.

Have you gone through menopause? Or peri menopause?
I'm 43 and worry that my sex drive is on borrowed time because I've been reading about decreases libido with menopause.

I'm 48 and definitely still into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please fix it. This will come to bite you sometime in the future. So even if both of you are happy like this- eventually, one of you will change your mind.
Fix it. This is a medical problem.

Says someone who's probably never dealt with this. Oh, how I wish it were that easy. I had to stop using testosterone cream because my level was endangering my health by the time I finally felt it starting to work. Got any more ideas?

[Anonymous]

18:28 here again. I do agree it's a medical problem. I just don't think there's a medical solution yet. Fingers crossed for Lybrido.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how you stand it. We can only get together two or three times a week and I'm miserable. How can you bear the lack of affection?

If sex is the only time you're getting any affection, it sounds like your relationship has other problems.

It's not the only time we share affection. We kiss each other and tell each other we love one another every day, which is why we still have a sex life. It's just not the daily affair it once was.

I'm baffled at people who never have sex and still manage to stay married. It sounds inevitable that at least one partner would seek out an affair.

And I'm baffled at people who don't understand that people have different needs related to sex and can be perfectly happy in a marriage without much sex.

How can you be perfectly happy in a marriage without much sex when you know your spouse doesn't feel the same way? Does it not in any way bother you that your spouse is miserable? I always find it so odd when people don't give a damn about how their spouse feels, it is all me, me, me. Yet on the other hand they expect their spouse to care about how they feel.

Unless both people have no sex drive and are both 100% fine with minimal or no sex then neither spouse should feel perfectly happy in the marriage.

+1! Withdrawing from the sexual relationship and expecting the neglected partner to put up with that is taking advantage of the relationship. It's selfish. Sooner or later the neglected partner will leave to find someone else, with or without a divorce. That normal, healthy sex drive is still there, and other, attractive, interested people will respond in kind.

So definitely at least talk to your doctor to fix the problem if you want to stay married.

[Anonymous]

Marijuana. You should definitely try it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a lot of fish oil. Mega doses of it. Weight based, i cant really sum up that dose. Cut carbs as much as possible. Iron, magnesium, multi-vitamin, vitamin c and calcium...I think that's it.
Basically eat lots of veggies, lean meats, do the vitamins, and oh yeah an ounce of dark chocolate a day. Plus she also recommends using a vaginal weight thing which I haven't started yet. Seriously I went from not really caring much about sex (but accommodating my husband 4x a week or so) to being actively horny frequently, even when he isn't home getting things going. We have sex at least 2x a day now, sometimes more. It's a lot of fun.

That's interesting. I made those changes in my diet recently for other reasons and noticed a considerable jump in my sex drive.

Haha, me too. I was just reading that going oh, so that's why I'm so desperate for it lately.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried regular intense exercise? Like really getting the heartrate up on a regular basis. It makes a difference when it comes to libido.

And much like creams or medication, you need to give it a chance to work, so you need to give about a month or two months of consistent, regular intense exercise before you see a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in the same boat. I used testosterone cream, but my levels got dangerously high and my doc made me stop. I'm pinning all my hopes on Lybrido hopefully coming on the market in 2015.

But Lybrido has testosterone in it, so won't it pose the same problem as the cream (i.e. eventually your testosterone levels will get too high)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marijuana. You should definitely try it.

+1

Experiment with different strains, though, as some will make you jittery, some sleepy, and some SEXY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marijuana. You should definitely try it.

+1

Experiment with different strains, though, as some will make you jittery, some sleepy, and some SEXY.

And if it's not your thing, you might want to try just plain old getting drunk. Same idea though. Our sex life hit a bumpy patch a while back, which ended really nicely one night after I'd had a few drinks out with a girlfriend. Turned out I was just so stressed about life...kids....bills....job....whatever...that it was a total libido killer. And all I needed to light the fire again was to be adequately distracted by the effects of booze.

For a few months, I needed to get drunk to relax into sex (which meant only once a week, and was admittedly a little disconcerting), but over time I was able to shift back into sober sex. Now we are doing really well.

Not for everyone, but worked for us.

Also, agreed about hormonal BC. In my 20s I could take the pill without noticing a thing, but post-children, any hormones completely obliterate my libido. Never again.

[Anonymous]

agree with previous posts about change diet. go as much vegan as possible. helps blood flow easily through veins.

exercise. get the body in shape.

drink wine. not become a drunkard, but drink some to relax.

if you can manage to relax yourself, things will be fine.