I have no sex drive
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Anonymous
| I don't know where my sex drive has gone, but it is not there. We still have sex about every 2.5 weeks, maybe more, but if it were up to my sex drive it would never happen. I love my husband, and know the importance of sex, but the drive is not there. We have 2 kids, the youngest is age 1, hoping that as the kids get older things will change. |
Anonymous
| is he happy with once a month sex? |
Anonymous
|
It happens for a myriad of reasons. I have found mine to ebb and flow depending of many factors, stress, level of physical activity, boredom, whatever.
Fake it till you make it often works. |
Anonymous
| Me either, OP. Luckily, I don't think my DH does either. |
Anonymous
|
One year out is still early days. It might come back when the youngest gets earlier. Main goal during the infant and toddler years is to limit the damage. There will be hurt feelings and damaged egos.
Beyond that: 1) Watch the birth control. My wife & I found out that Mirena was doing a real number on her libido. 2) Try to keep the parenting from being all-consuming. You're a woman and he's a man. Try to keep acting like it. Try not to be a frumpy housewife. He should try not to be a beaten down husband. 3) If you talk about your sex drive being low; you can offer theories about why that is, but be real honest about the fact that you don't know. Because if (for example) you say it's because you're tired, and he takes over the workload and lets you sleep, and you're still not interested, he's going to feel like a chump. 4) He needs to keep initiating, allow you to feel free to decline, and not whine or let it get to him too much when you decline. On the other hand, if you're even a little into it -- try to be enthusiastic when you do accept the initiation. That will go a long way toward softening the blows when you decline. Good luck. |
Anonymous
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I was going to do this exact post. I'm 36, have 3 kids and NO SEX DRIVE. My husband is so handsome and his body is amazing, and I have not one care.
I don't know what it is, but my oldest is 10, youngest is 2, and I still have no desire at all. I'd give anything to have a high libido, but it has not happened for at least 5 years. You are not alone, OP. |
Anonymous
What are you doing to change that? Do not sit and accept a lack of sex drive as a normal thing - unless you have just given birth. This can impact the quality of your marriage and indirectly the beautiful family you describe. Try the herbal supplement http://ayurveda-foryou.com/ayurveda_herb/shatavari.html. It changed my life. I was using it for heavy bleeding during my periods and cramps - but as an end result saw that it did wonders for my libido. |
Anonymous
| I'm in the same boat. I used testosterone cream, but my levels got dangerously high and my doc made me stop. I'm pinning all my hopes on Lybrido hopefully coming on the market in 2015. |
Anonymous
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Make sure you're getting enough iron. There seems to be some correlation between low iron and low testosterone. Birth control and/or nursing affects your hormones and sex drive.
Start flirting again. Make an effort to fantasize. Read erotica written by women. Have a glass of wine. Make time for sex. Enjoy the connection with your spouse. Try to avoid skipping sex. Don't fall into the trap of feeling badly about not wanting sex. Those feelings are a libido killer. |
Anonymous
| Are you breastfeeding? I am and I never want sex. The thought doesn't even cross my mind except to think " damn, it's been weeks, DH must be sad." |
Anonymous
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You'll probably think I'm crazy but try this book:
http://www.doctoroz.com/book/orgasmic-diet it took about 4 months, but my libido has jumped super high. DH is finally happy; ) |
Anonymous
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PP: can you summarize the diet for us? PLEASE? It looks logical….looks like fish oil, zinc and magnesium. What else?
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Anonymous
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It's a lot of fish oil. Mega doses of it. Weight based, i cant really sum up that dose. Cut carbs as much as possible. Iron, magnesium, multi-vitamin, vitamin c and calcium...I think that's it.
Basically eat lots of veggies, lean meats, do the vitamins, and oh yeah an ounce of dark chocolate a day. Plus she also recommends using a vaginal weight thing which I haven't started yet. Seriously I went from not really caring much about sex (but accommodating my husband 4x a week or so) to being actively horny frequently, even when he isn't home getting things going. We have sex at least 2x a day now, sometimes more. It's a lot of fun. |
Anonymous
| If you're done with kids, have your DH get a vascetomy - eliminating both hormonal birth control + fears about getting pregnant + the work to using birth control will likely help. |