When you married you husband, did you sense that he could cheat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband was cheating on his girlfriend with me. He broke it off with her, dated someone else and cheated on her with me as well. I am confident he will never cheat on me.

Why not? My ex did the same and I thought the same as you. Guess what, I became the cheated on wife. Be careful. He doesn't exactly have a good track record.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do we let extra-marital sex bother us so much????

Do you want the anthropological answer, the biological answer, or the ethical answer?

If your cave man has other women with other kids, your kids get less of the hunt, which reduces their chances of survival. So the gene for possessiveness of mates evolved, and here we are.
For the cave man, he does not want cave woman to be cheating because he will not hunt with the same vim and vigor if he's not sure the kids are really his.

Biologically, it spreads disease. Spousy cares about that.

Ethically, it is somewhat antisocial, and the no one can trust you. Unpredictable human behavior is grounds for rejection in any relationship.

I think it's the lies that lead to lack of trust more than the extra-marital sex itself. That's why emotional affairs are just as hurtful.

[Anonymous]

This thread is very interesting. While I'm sure my husband has never cheated on me, I do worry because I have no libido (of course we had a very active sex life while we were dating and when we were first married). I don't even know that I worry about him cheating on me as much and I just feel bad about the situation.

[Anonymous]

My husband was cheating on his girlfriend with me. He broke it off with her, dated someone else and cheated on her with me as well. I am confident he will never cheat on me.

Is this post a joke? If he will cheat with you, he will cheat on you. Your man has proven he's a cheater.

[Anonymous]

I don't agree that any of the above mentioned variables are true risk factors for cheating, save one: business trips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My husband was cheating on his girlfriend with me. He broke it off with her, dated someone else and cheated on her with me as well. I am confident he will never cheat on me.

Is this post a joke? If he will cheat with you, he will cheat on you. Your man has proven he's a cheater.

He does not go any where to cheat. He works from home, doesnt go out, when he does go out we are going out together, plus every chance I get were having sex. Sex is usually twice a day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is very interesting. While I'm sure my husband has never cheated on me, I do worry because I have no libido (of course we had a very active sex life while we were dating and when we were first married). I don't even know that I worry about him cheating on me as much and I just feel bad about the situation.

I am the 00:17 poster. I am not trying in any way to say that your husband is cheating or would cheat, but do not underestimate the important of a sexual relationship and what the lack of one can do to a man's self-esteem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is very interesting. While I'm sure my husband has never cheated on me, I do worry because I have no libido (of course we had a very active sex life while we were dating and when we were first married). I don't even know that I worry about him cheating on me as much and I just feel bad about the situation.

that was me too. dh has never cheated. but he has, can you say, "looked into it." take it seriously and do more than feel bad. there's nothing like the threat of an affair to bring back the libido but don't let it get to that point.

[Anonymous]

Women cheat, too. I have no idea what the stats are and I imagine that the reasons are different. Are the consequences any different?

[Anonymous]

One factor that I looked at with men is libido. I avoided men who always talked about sex, were quick to jump into bed, wanted it all the time.
My husband would bore most women. The flashy fast lane guys are exciting for one night out on a date, but emotionally dangerous on another level. My friends were brave enough to deal with these "sophisticated" men, I was not. I guess it's about your safety zone.

[Anonymous]

not strictly speaking cheating-based, but related:

http://www.divorce360.com/content/divorcecalculator.aspx

[Anonymous]

My husband once shared the following with me: " The best pussy is new pussy". Given the opportunity, I think that any man can cheat. They may feel bad after and confess, but they all have the inclination.

[Anonymous]

Your husband shared that with you???

My husband would never talk that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband shared that with you???

My husband would never talk that way.

but he might think that way.

i'm guessing the pp's dh said it in the context of "guys in general" which makes it a little more understandable.

[Anonymous]

I have to say, and I do not mean to brag, but the amount of anxiety people on this board have about their sex life, infidelity, possibility of divorce, and troubled relationships really astounds me.

I know that I am not immune from any of it -- don't get me wrong. I also know that my husband is not perfect, and that the relationship is not perfect. Anybody can cheat -- you have to make a decision as to whether you are going to trust him or not. If you do, you do. If you don't, you don't.

I do not worry about my husband cheating. I seriously, seriously doubt that my husband ever thought "the best pussy is new pussy". Because that just isn't the way my husband thinks. We have regular, spontaneous, enjoyable sex. When we start building resentments, we work through them.

Love should not be this hard.