I think we need to break up

[Anonymous]

Good luck OP!!!! You can do it! I know it's not easy but I know you can do it. You'll be ok, so will he.

[Anonymous]

Are you the girl who is expected to drive around your brother in law because he has a driving anxiety?

Defn break up with him. Your call whether you can make it till dec 1. I'd be tempted to wait until after getting into your new apartment, though.

I know you say you are thinking of him, but honestly, why are you so convinced you are going to break the guys heart? No offense but you are just one girl. I'm sure he can find someone else. You don't need to stay with him just to avoid hurting his feelings. He'll be fine. He can spend time nursing his broken heart and driving around his deadbeat brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you the girl who is expected to drive around your brother in law because he has a driving anxiety?

Defn break up with him. Your call whether you can make it till dec 1. I'd be tempted to wait until after getting into your new apartment, though.

I know you say you are thinking of him, but honestly, why are you so convinced you are going to break the guys heart? No offense but you are just one girl. I'm sure he can find someone else. You don't need to stay with him just to avoid hurting his feelings. He'll be fine. He can spend time nursing his broken heart and driving around his deadbeat brother.

I am that girl! We both put our feet down and refused to do any more driving after that, and his family hasn't asked since.

I understand what you mean - no offense taken. I know he'll be fine but I'm just thinking of times when I've been dumped (and certainly not by people I thought I was going to marry/were "the one") and it's brutal. I just hate the thought of doing that to him. He truly is a great guy and deserves someone great and I feel bad that I'll be another girl letting him down (even though it's certainly better for both in the long run).

[Anonymous]

I know you don't want to hurt him, OP, but here's the thing: you are going to hurt him. That's not up for debate. If you don't break up now, you will (1) break up later, (2) call off a wedding, (3) divorce, or (4) have an unhappy marriage. All four of those things will be more painful for him than if you break up with him now. So what you are doing is actually the least painful of the options.

And he will be fine. So will you. I promise.

"BF, I need to talk to you. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I've realized that I'm not happy. I care about you a lot, and I'm sorry to hurt you, but we need to break up." That's your first line. Go from there.

[Anonymous]

And one more thing to learn from DCUM, OP:

The word is "anyway," not "anyways."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) you take a huge deep breath and be honest. Be prepared for some anger. Some questions. Some drama. Be strong and stick to your guns. Don't lie, don't reconsider. Maintain your integrity even if he becomes emotionally manipulative towards you.

2) find somewhere else to stay. Don't compromise your integrity. A friend will understand, you can make it work. It's not that long, offer to pay for the hassle.

3) it was a gift to him and after things settle down you might want to talk about shared custody and remaining friends. But it's his cat at the end of the day.

This, but let him keep the cat. The cat will just remind you of him.

[Anonymous]

I say - who knows what will happen?

Is he a huge Christian who goes to Bible church all the time or is he more of a take it or leave it type? Maybe he will become less involved with church as he gets older. Maybe he will move towards atheism/agnosticism too. Or can you tell that he is a complete Bible thumper?

Is he as intelligent as you are? I think this is key. If he is not as educated and intelligent as you, you are a mismatch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say - who knows what will happen?

Is he a huge Christian who goes to Bible church all the time or is he more of a take it or leave it type? Maybe he will become less involved with church as he gets older. Maybe he will move towards atheism/agnosticism too. Or can you tell that he is a complete Bible thumper?

Is he as intelligent as you are? I think this is key. If he is not as educated and intelligent as you, you are a mismatch.

Good point. It is also possible that as OP grows and matures, she will learn to understand the role that God plays in her life. She may not believe in God now, but God definitely believes in her.

[Anonymous]

To be fair, she's making it a lot more obvious that she exists than God is.

[Anonymous]

Op, go ahead and marry him. Then accept that you will have a miserable marriage full of regret.

Some folks have to learn the hard way.

But seriously, stop wasting time with someone who obviously isn't for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be fair, she's making it a lot more obvious that she exists than God is.

lol +1

Funny how your god doesn't want to play a role in the lives of all those babies dying of malaria or young girls trafficked into the global sex trade before reaching puberty... I'd rather focus on the actual people here today, sounds like OP would too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be fair, she's making it a lot more obvious that she exists than God is.

lol +1

Funny how your god doesn't want to play a role in the lives of all those babies dying of malaria or young girls trafficked into the global sex trade before reaching puberty... I'd rather focus on the actual people here today, sounds like OP would too.

Oh, but He does!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be fair, she's making it a lot more obvious that she exists than God is.

lol +1

Funny how your god doesn't want to play a role in the lives of all those babies dying of malaria or young girls trafficked into the global sex trade before reaching puberty... I'd rather focus on the actual people here today, sounds like OP would too.

Oh, but He does!

ahahahahahahahahahahahaha

sorry, give me a minute...

...

ahahahahahahahahahaha.

YOU REALIZE THAT'S EVEN WORSE, right? Your fantasy guy-in-the-sky's marketing campaign could really do with some help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be fair, she's making it a lot more obvious that she exists than God is.

lol +1

Funny how your god doesn't want to play a role in the lives of all those babies dying of malaria or young girls trafficked into the global sex trade before reaching puberty... I'd rather focus on the actual people here today, sounds like OP would too.

Oh, but He does!

Excuse me, I'm OP and it's really pissing me off that you're derailing my thread about a major emotional crisis in my life with your proselytizing. I'm about to break up with someone I'm deeply in love with, in part because of our different religious beliefs. Do you really think that sounds like I might be swayed? This is not the time or place. Get some manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be fair, she's making it a lot more obvious that she exists than God is.

lol +1

Funny how your god doesn't want to play a role in the lives of all those babies dying of malaria or young girls trafficked into the global sex trade before reaching puberty... I'd rather focus on the actual people here today, sounds like OP would too.

Oh, but He does!

ahahahahahahahahahahahaha

sorry, give me a minute...

...

ahahahahahahahahahaha.

YOU REALIZE THAT'S EVEN WORSE, right? Your fantasy guy-in-the-sky's marketing campaign could really do with some help.

And YOU (here on earth, we assume) are doing what about these issues?