Sex on second date? -guys insight needed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I slept with my fiancee on the third date. I think the rules that we've created regarding when it's appropriate to have sex are silly. If you want to do it, do it. If he wants to date you, he'll keep dating you, and as a bonus you get to have great sex. If he just wants sex, he'll stop wining and dining you, and you'll be able to spot it from a mile away.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I slept with my fiancee on the third date. I think the rules that we've created regarding when it's appropriate to have sex are silly. If you want to do it, do it. If he wants to date you, he'll keep dating you, and as a bonus you get to have great sex. If he just wants sex, he'll stop wining and dining you, and you'll be able to spot it from a mile away.

+1

I take my plus one back after reading about texts!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh wow, sorry OP. Getting a text that brings up the fact that you didn't have sex isn't a good sign. I was about to post telling you that my DH and I had sex on our first date, so IMO/E the "rules" are arbitrary and if a guy is interested in you, he will be interested regardless of whether and when you have sex ... but I know that if I had turned DH down he never would have brought it up again, certainly not in such a way as to convey that he was "miffed." It seems like you have a gut feeling about what is going on and you should go with that.

He didn't come out and say he's miffed but between Friday and today he has made several references about how much pain and discomfort he was in due ti his arousal and not taking care of it. He said he had discomfort all weekend ? I realize that if a guy gets aroused and doesn't take care of it, it can be painful but all weekend but i thought if he went home and took care of it, hed be fine. i replied to his text today saying I'm sorry ( referring to his discomfort) and joked saying, no more heavy make out sessions in the car-haha. He replied , I really don't find it all that funny. And yes, he wanted to have sex in the car in a restaraunt parking lot. I'm no prude but I wasn't about to have sex w/a guy I just met, in the backseat of the car in the parking lot of a restaraunt.

Blue-balls hurt, but there is a cure that does not involve you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Earlier this summer I celebrated my 16th wedding anniversary with a guy I slept with on the second date. Just saying.

+1 - almost nine years here

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I'm a PP, bad sign. Knowing what I know now in my 30s, I would move on. Sounds like a major guilt monger. And loser. Who texts that to someone? It's so blaming. Tell him he should've prevented his boner by thinking about his mom in the shower next time so he won't be in 'such pain.' He should 'know better' because 'magic vaginas' rule the world and make men miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh wow, sorry OP. Getting a text that brings up the fact that you didn't have sex isn't a good sign. I was about to post telling you that my DH and I had sex on our first date, so IMO/E the "rules" are arbitrary and if a guy is interested in you, he will be interested regardless of whether and when you have sex ... but I know that if I had turned DH down he never would have brought it up again, certainly not in such a way as to convey that he was "miffed." It seems like you have a gut feeling about what is going on and you should go with that.

He didn't come out and say he's miffed but between Friday and today he has made several references about how much pain and discomfort he was in due ti his arousal and not taking care of it. He said he had discomfort all weekend ? I realize that if a guy gets aroused and doesn't take care of it, it can be painful but all weekend but i thought if he went home and took care of it, hed be fine. i replied to his text today saying I'm sorry ( referring to his discomfort) and joked saying, no more heavy make out sessions in the car-haha. He replied , I really don't find it all that funny. And yes, he wanted to have sex in the car in a restaraunt parking lot. I'm no prude but I wasn't about to have sex w/a guy I just met, in the backseat of the car in the parking lot of a restaraunt.

Blue-balls hurt, but there is a cure that does not involve you.

Complaining about blue balls is an attempt for pity and truly pathetic. If he knew what he was doing, he wouldn't be crying about pain and discomfort since you would have willingly given in.

[Anonymous]

Does this guy's Mom still do his laundry?
Run away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh wow, sorry OP. Getting a text that brings up the fact that you didn't have sex isn't a good sign. I was about to post telling you that my DH and I had sex on our first date, so IMO/E the "rules" are arbitrary and if a guy is interested in you, he will be interested regardless of whether and when you have sex ... but I know that if I had turned DH down he never would have brought it up again, certainly not in such a way as to convey that he was "miffed." It seems like you have a gut feeling about what is going on and you should go with that.

He didn't come out and say he's miffed but between Friday and today he has made several references about how much pain and discomfort he was in due ti his arousal and not taking care of it. He said he had discomfort all weekend ? I realize that if a guy gets aroused and doesn't take care of it, it can be painful but all weekend but i thought if he went home and took care of it, hed be fine. i replied to his text today saying I'm sorry ( referring to his discomfort) and joked saying, no more heavy make out sessions in the car-haha. He replied , I really don't find it all that funny. And yes, he wanted to have sex in the car in a restaraunt parking lot. I'm no prude but I wasn't about to have sex w/a guy I just met, in the backseat of the car in the parking lot of a restaraunt.

Blue-balls hurt, but there is a cure that does not involve you.

Right, he could've gone home to take care of his blue balls. Will he pull the guilt card every time he doesn't get sex? Loser

[Anonymous]

Make him wait it will seem so much better when he has had to anticipate it for weeks on end...trust me.

[Anonymous]

OP here- I don't think we'll see each other again. I think he's blowing me off, which is fine I'm not sure i want to get involved w/someone who pulls this crap. And if he does reach out im going to let him know im no longer interested. Btw, I failed to mention that he's 52!!! Lol obviously, he should know how to take care of his blue balls instead of blaming me for his discomfort for days. Really???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I don't think we'll see each other again. I think he's blowing me off, which is fine I'm not sure i want to get involved w/someone who pulls this crap. And if he does reach out im going to let him know im no longer interested. Btw, I failed to mention that he's 52!!! Lol obviously, he should know how to take care of his blue balls instead of blaming me for his discomfort for days. Really???

Good move!!!!

[Anonymous]

I second the PP. how much of an age difference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I second the PP. how much of an age difference?

I'm the OP - I'm 47 he's 52.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Move on Op, move on.

I totally agree. He has shown his true colors. He's trying to make you feel bad for not having sex with him on the second date, and in his car in the parking lot?? Very, very bad sign.
Be done with him. There are better men out there who won't treat you this way, and who are looking for more than sex.

[Anonymous]

OP if you need a new make out partner i am here...
But yeah in all seriousness glad you are standing firm