Already feel like I am a single mom. Why shouldn't I leave?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is not a "great guy." I am so tired of hearing women on this forum describing their men as "great guys" while at the same time telling us how they cheat, lie, drink, do drugs, complain, etc. I wonder what universe they are living in.

How is your husband great OP? Not to be judgmental or anything but he cheated on you, he doesn't help out around the house AND he isn't very hands on w/caring for his daughter. If this is a great guy, then I am not living in your world.

Since you are basically living a single mother's existence, why not make it official and leave this loser? What are you gaining by living w/him? Is he a stallion in bed? Is he a top~notch chef who cooks five course dinners every night? If not, then I would walk away.

Staying w/this rat is only going to prevent you from meeting a true gem...one you really deserve to have in your life.

You already have one asshole OP.
Do you really need another one?

I agree with, this, but I think it's best not to exaggerate the odds of a single mother meting a "true gem",especially one who will be an equal parent to her kid.

I highly disagree.

Since the OP only has one child and that child is still quite young, she still has a good chance at meeting a great guy who could step up and be a great Father to this child. Many women have met men who have successfully raised their children that weren't theirs biologically when the biological Fathers were not in the picture. It can be done OP.

Do not let this one comment discourage you and make you stay w/a man who does not deserve you.

[Anonymous]

Man here.
Stay if you think he can change. Try counseling. If it doesn't look like it's gonna work, then just leave. I was basically a single dad up until my wife cheated. I left and found that it was actually easier with her gone. I'm glad I did it while my child was still really young so that there aren't a lot of pre-divorce memories to contend with.

[Anonymous]

Two things I never tolerated. Cheating and any form of abuse. Anything else can and should be worked out.

[Anonymous]

Wait, can you explain the timeline? You're very vague.
Like, did you get pregnant, then he left and moved in with the mistress- leaving you alone during pregnancy?
And then after you gave birth, he came around?

[Anonymous]

A H here. I am not sure what my W brings to the table. She is a perfectly nice and attractive person. But I feel like I am raising our 3 kids. The only daily task that she does is to prepare the meals (and food shopping), and that she manages to turn that task into a major undertaking. We both work, but I make 3 times more than she does. Life would be considerably easier without her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A H here. I am not sure what my W brings to the table. She is a perfectly nice and attractive person. But I feel like I am raising our 3 kids. The only daily task that she does is to prepare the meals (and food shopping), and that she manages to turn that task into a major undertaking. We both work, but I make 3 times more than she does. Life would be considerably easier without her.

Actually, that's quite a lot. Do you really do everything else? Bath, bed time routines, school assignments, meetings, doctor appointments, party planning, housework? Really?

[Anonymous]

OP,

If you split and do no remarry/repartner, that is, share a household with someone, the financial implications will be huge. You are not a single mother now, no matter how much work you do, not with his income covering what it covers. Child support will be a fraction of his take-home pay. Of course don't stay for money but try and make it work. He does sound checked out ... Is he interacting with you? Date nights? Having sex?

[Anonymous]

It seems like you are just frustrated because he is not helping out, but do you work? If you don't, you should be able to handle all that. If you do, I can see that he should help. My wife works, she cooks, then I do the dishes. I do the laundry, she does the folding part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A H here. I am not sure what my W brings to the table. She is a perfectly nice and attractive person. But I feel like I am raising our 3 kids. The only daily task that she does is to prepare the meals (and food shopping), and that she manages to turn that task into a major undertaking. We both work, but I make 3 times more than she does. Life would be considerably easier without her.

Above P here!

Actually, that's quite a lot. Do you really do everything else? Bath (yes), bed time routines (yes), school assignments (mostly), meetings (not daily job, but mostly), doctor appointments (not daily, but she does this), party planning (n/a), housework (outsourced, but I do daily clean ups and trash stuff? Really?

Also, all bills except medical, most school, sports and extra paperwork, all financials and taxes, most laundry, everything outdoors (whether moving, weeding, seeding, etc). The list goes on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A H here. I am not sure what my W brings to the table. She is a perfectly nice and attractive person. But I feel like I am raising our 3 kids. The only daily task that she does is to prepare the meals (and food shopping), and that she manages to turn that task into a major undertaking. We both work, but I make 3 times more than she does. Life would be considerably easier without her.

Above P here!

Actually, that's quite a lot. Do you really do everything else? Bath (yes), bed time routines (yes), school assignments (mostly), meetings (not daily job, but mostly), doctor appointments (not daily, but she does this), party planning (n/a), housework (outsourced, but I do daily clean ups and trash stuff? Really?

Also, all bills except medical, most school, sports and extra paperwork, all financials and taxes, most laundry, everything outdoors (whether moving, weeding, seeding, etc). The list goes on.

Wow.
What is her take on why she's not more involved?

[Anonymous]

Leave. Do you really think it's fair to raise a child in dysfunction? Make sure your finances are in order because I would not be surprised if he leaves you again in the future if you don't leave first.

Maybe do a trial separation if you don't feel brave enough. Give him an ultimatum to do better or let him know your daughter will be calling another man daddy.