Developing the discipline to stop spending -- I need tips

[Anonymous]

Try to cut out expensive lessons and do some through the county or do group lessons rather than private. I balked at the $35 per 30-minute piano lesson that most people were charging. Instead, I got my daughter into a community center group piano class for about $100 for 10 group lessons that last one hour. The classes have at most 6 children, but usually there are just 3 or 4 there, so she gets about 15 minutes per lesson of one-on-one time. She has made wonderful progress.

We do other low-cost activities like scouts. Through scouts, she does a lot of fun activities for low cost.

Another tip for cutting down on spending is to ask yourself before every purchase, "Do I really need this?" Is there something else I can use that I have on hand as a substitute?" or "Can I get by without this?" I'd bet at least half the time, you will find the purchase is a "want" and not a "need."

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Try the "Envelope System for Budgeting" google it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some good tips,PP.

To throw in one thing that helps me is to get off all the mailing lists for Pottery Barn, Hannah Anderson, Gap, etc. I always feel like I can't resist a 20% off sale even if I don't need anything. If I don't know about it, I don't think about that sweater or pair of pants that we don't have. I also had to wean myself from checking Gilt, Ruelala, Joss and Main, etc. Every time I look at those there is something irresistable that I need.

Not the OP, but thank you! I just went through my email and unsubscribed from
so many places. I think my inbox will be for real email only and this will also cut down on my email checking time per day! A great suggestion.

[Anonymous]

I would find out by goggling what average families spend on certain categories. For instance, the USDA has a chart on what the average American family spends on food each month at different income levels. it infuriates me to spend more than the average in any category, and I now strive to pay less in every category than the average. You can google what average family pays on cable, utilities, car etc. This method has the potential to keep you in check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would find out by goggling what average families spend on certain categories. For instance, the USDA has a chart on what the average American family spends on food each month at different income levels. it infuriates me to spend more than the average in any category, and I now strive to pay less in every category than the average. You can google what average family pays on cable, utilities, car etc. This method has the potential to keep you in check.

Here are the average food costs.
http://www.cnpp.usda.gov/Publications/FoodPlans/2013/CostofFoodMay2013.pdf

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks all for the responses. Since posting this thread, I started using Mint.com, which I like because I can see all our credit card balances (we use two rewards cards for everyday purchases and pay them off each month) and checking/savings account balances on one website, and went back to using Easy Envelope for tracking our discretionary spending on our phones (it is free and we had been using it previously and then stopped once we got a bonus and tax refund). The reality right now is that it hasn't been that hard to get into a more disciplined mindset because of the utter necessity of doing so. It will not be easy because things are going to be so incredibly tight for the next few years, but we don't have any choice unless we want to sink back into credit card debt, and we don't because we have long term financial goals that would be undermined by doing so. Every "extra" purchase (outside the monthly budget) has to be financed by selling something that we have or by underspending the budget in one or more other categories. In a way it's easier than before because we really can only afford necessities, and that makes it easier to distinguish a want from a need.

I especially appreciated the advice about delaying purchases and not looking at sale emails from online merchants.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you have long term financial goals?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you think you need something or need to shop, postpone it. Often the urge passes and you realize you don't need it. Tell yourself it's too inconvenient to shop for that right now. Traffic, schedule, something else you should do instead. The more you postpone the more likely you will forego.

Piggybacking on this, one way I handle the impulse to buy clothes is to have the store hold the item until the next day. If it's a worthwhile purchase, I'll go back to get it. I rarely go back, though, and never miss whatever it was that I thought I wanted or needed so badly. This is especially effective at stores like Marshalls-- So often an item seems like a good deal even when it's not quite the right thing. When you buy stuff like that on impulse, it's never as great at home as it seemed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a job.

I swear I am not being snarky. There are onu two choices in your situation - cut back expenses or increase income. You are saying you can't find anywhere to cut back so you need to bring in more income.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you think you need something or need to shop, postpone it. Often the urge passes and you realize you don't need it. Tell yourself it's too inconvenient to shop for that right now. Traffic, schedule, something else you should do instead. The more you postpone the more likely you will forego.

I agree with this 100%. I find that for lots of things I want, if I wait 24 hours, I don't want them anymore.

[Anonymous]

look at how much you get per month. calculate the fixed bills and subtract them from that. then calculate the grocery cost you can't cut down on and subtract that. you will see what you have left and it won't be much. then realize that you will have extra things you didn't count yet, like car repairs, big surprise medical copays, house repairs etc. convince yourself that these surprises are bound to happen sooner or later and realize that this little amount you have left which you calculated already is all you have left to cover the surprises... you might become less interested in spending on anything when you see that figure. I did something like this-- I calculated monthly income, subtracted the bills and then had a monthly amount for groceries etc.. that amount was awfully small, smaller than I had thought. I mentally now have a $ amount that I can spend per week (I am determined to build our emergency savings back up and that is taken into account). If I have no choice but to go over that, then I have to "borrow" from the next week. We have to use the leftovers in the freezer, not buy clothes that week etc. Also, look into buying more things secondhand for the 3 DCs. Once you see that it is $1 for a like-new tshirt at a yard sale, that $8 shirt at target will just seem to expensive and it will be easy not to buy it.

[Anonymous]

You say you are overspending on food but eating it so it's not wasted food but not within your budget. That's our family, too. I switched to using cash at the grocery store and it made a huge difference. I actually thought about what I put in the cart rather than tossing extras in. With cash, I don't go over budget but with my debit card, it's easy to not worry that my budget was $125 and the bill was $150. Just the thought of not having the cash to spend, holding up the line and putting things back makes me think twice about what I buy- and I buy very healthy food.

I also found that since we are on a tight budget, sometimes I will 'treat' us to something out of the ordinary since it's so much cheaper than eating out. Well, if it's not in the budget, regardless if we are making it our not, we aren't buying it. You can still buy healthy food that is cheaper, you just have to shop smarter. Stocking up when things are on sale for things you NEED and eat is a great way to cut down on your food budget.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I don't budget, but I also only pay in cash. So each Friday i take out $200 and I only have that to spend on groceries and random stuff. I cook meat 3 times a week, otherwise it's veggie. I do charge gasoline. I stopped Costco, so much wasted money I felt. I only buy on amazon prime because the $79 a year includes two day shipping and movies and tv shows. Clothes are bought at the end of the season for all my kids, usually half off, just size up one size and store. I only buy 10 shirts, 10 shorts like that because their drawers can't fit anymore anyway. I never buy any clothes that aren't half off but I buy good brands so they last more than one child.

[Anonymous]

We started using YNAB a few months ago, and it has saved us - really. We have saved the $60 a couple times over. We do best on the envelope cash system, but that doesn't work for bills and gas and the things you want to use your debit or credit card for. YNAB is essentially using the envelope system for everything, even savings and long term goals. Before we spend anything we check the "envelope" on our smartphones to see how much we have left for that category. No more money? No more spending. I have been using Mint for years, and that is great to get an overall picture of where money is going, but it isn't a tool for day-to-day self control, which is what we needed.