Yom Kippur Birthday Party

[Anonymous]

A personal bday party is better than the GS troop that schedules a field trip on YK.

[Anonymous]

Someone else's birthday isn't about you, OP.

While I am not Jewish, a LOT of my friends are and I tend to be conscious of the major Jewish holidays. But there are also some times when despite that knowledge I have no choice but to schedule something on a Jewish holiday, because of some other factor that was important and just couldn't be scheduled any other way. Sorry about that. I understand that you may not be able to attend, but thought it would be more rude to not include your child than to include you, let you decide how important that holiday was for you, and let you accept or politely inclined. If you would prefer that we exclude your child from future invitations if we think you might be unavailable, we can do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone else's birthday isn't about you, OP.

While I am not Jewish, a LOT of my friends are and I tend to be conscious of the major Jewish holidays. But there are also some times when despite that knowledge I have no choice but to schedule something on a Jewish holiday, because of some other factor that was important and just couldn't be scheduled any other way. Sorry about that. I understand that you may not be able to attend, but thought it would be more rude to not include your child than to include you, let you decide how important that holiday was for you, and let you accept or politely inclined. If you would prefer that we exclude your child from future invitations if we think you might be unavailable, we can do so.

This.

[Anonymous]

If it's that offensive to you, you might consider enrolling your child in a private school that is 100% jewish, not 25%. That way you are assured that this will not happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry. Op here. I was unclear.

We were invited. And are Jewish. As, oddly enough, is the birthdays girls dad.

My daughter was just so excited as it is one if her best friends and it came home in the agenda.

Kids have agendas? Who knew?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like most people I know who are not religious, whatever they may have been raised with, are not that tuned in to religious holidays period. If my friends throw a party on Good Friday or Easter, I'm not going to attend, but I'm not going to be pissed off either, because I know that they are not religious so they weren't aware of it. Heck, I have a friend who is Jewish but not super observant who scheduled her wedding for a Jewish holiday without realizing it until it was too late, and some close family members weren't able to attend.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone else's birthday isn't about you, OP.

While I am not Jewish, a LOT of my friends are and I tend to be conscious of the major Jewish holidays. But there are also some times when despite that knowledge I have no choice but to schedule something on a Jewish holiday, because of some other factor that was important and just couldn't be scheduled any other way. Sorry about that. I understand that you may not be able to attend, but thought it would be more rude to not include your child than to include you, let you decide how important that holiday was for you, and let you accept or politely inclined. If you would prefer that we exclude your child from future invitations if we think you might be unavailable, we can do so.

This.

Yep. We're having a birthday party that day too, and I know some people won't be able to attend, but its the only day we could do it. I won't be offended at all if the Jewish kids can't make it. I'd love to pick a date that works for every family, including ours, but since it's our party, we picked the day that works for us. DC knows we're having a small party and luckily is too young to be upset if someone can't make it.

[Anonymous]

Rotten timing, but -- like you said, OP -- not malicious. I was one of the few observant Jews in my town growing up, and it felt terrible to miss out on lots of things scheduled for Sat. or holidays. At least your kid is in good company, since most of her Jewish classmates can't go, either.

I like the idea of scheduling a make-up playdate with a private celebration. No reason to make them feel bad...just make sure your kid doesn't feel bad!

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of non-Jews don't quite understand that Yom Kippur is our MOST religious and important day of the year. It is to us what Christmas is to them. Maybe if people understood that more they would be less likely to schedule things on that day. The other Jewish holidays aren't as big of a deal, but I think people would be pretty annoyed if I scheduled my child's party on Christmas.

We were recently invited to an adult evening event on Yom Kippur. There were lots of other dates the host could have chose. I think they really don't understand the importance of this holiday to those who are Jewish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of non-Jews don't quite understand that Yom Kippur is our MOST religious and important day of the year. It is to us what Christmas is to them. Maybe if people understood that more they would be less likely to schedule things on that day. The other Jewish holidays aren't as big of a deal, but I think people would be pretty annoyed if I scheduled my child's party on Christmas.

We were recently invited to an adult evening event on Yom Kippur. There were lots of other dates the host could have chose. I think they really don't understand the importance of this holiday to those who are Jewish.

Not everyone knows that Yom Kippur is so important. I know there are many Jewish holidays and I work with many Jewish people, but I don't know the "weight" of each individual holiday. I'm Muslim and also don't expect anyone should be aware of which are our holidays and which are weighted higher. I would not be offended if someone invited us to a birthday party on a Muslim holiday. I would just decline.

[Anonymous]

Why do people get annoyed when this sort of this happens. Just decline the invitation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of non-Jews don't quite understand that Yom Kippur is our MOST religious and important day of the year. It is to us what Christmas is to them. Maybe if people understood that more they would be less likely to schedule things on that day. The other Jewish holidays aren't as big of a deal, but I think people would be pretty annoyed if I scheduled my child's party on Christmas.

We were recently invited to an adult evening event on Yom Kippur. There were lots of other dates the host could have chose. I think they really don't understand the importance of this holiday to those who are Jewish.

Not everyone knows that Yom Kippur is so important. I know there are many Jewish holidays and I work with many Jewish people, but I don't know the "weight" of each individual holiday. I'm Muslim and also don't expect anyone should be aware of which are our holidays and which are weighted higher. I would not be offended if someone invited us to a birthday party on a Muslim holiday. I would just decline.

I didn't grow up with many observant Jewish people, so I'm glad to know the importance placed on Yom Kippur.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone else's birthday isn't about you, OP.

While I am not Jewish, a LOT of my friends are and I tend to be conscious of the major Jewish holidays. But there are also some times when despite that knowledge I have no choice but to schedule something on a Jewish holiday, because of some other factor that was important and just couldn't be scheduled any other way. Sorry about that. I understand that you may not be able to attend, but thought it would be more rude to not include your child than to include you, let you decide how important that holiday was for you, and let you accept or politely inclined. If you would prefer that we exclude your child from future invitations if we think you might be unavailable, we can do so.

Substitute the word "Christian" and then instead of Yom Kippur say the holiday is Christmas. The briskly, let's generously call it matter-of-fact tone likely would not apply then. Scheduling a part on THE main Jewish holiday is a faux pas if some of your invitees are Jewish.

[Anonymous]

OP, I planned my dd's birthday on you kippur thisnyear totally by accident. It was planned at a location months ago. When sent out the evite and a Jewish friend told me what I did I was mortified. I tried to change the date but it site wa full and I have all the grandparents coming across the country for the party. So, I told the parents of the few Jewish kids in her class to please come to our more intimate family party the next day if they desired. And l looked on my work calender, and no Yom Kippur is listed. It was a mistake, but innocent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone else's birthday isn't about you, OP.

While I am not Jewish, a LOT of my friends are and I tend to be conscious of the major Jewish holidays. But there are also some times when despite that knowledge I have no choice but to schedule something on a Jewish holiday, because of some other factor that was important and just couldn't be scheduled any other way. Sorry about that. I understand that you may not be able to attend, but thought it would be more rude to not include your child than to include you, let you decide how important that holiday was for you, and let you accept or politely inclined. If you would prefer that we exclude your child from future invitations if we think you might be unavailable, we can do so.

Substitute the word "Christian" and then instead of Yom Kippur say the holiday is Christmas. The briskly, let's generously call it matter-of-fact tone likely would not apply then. Scheduling a part on THE main Jewish holiday is a faux pas if some of your invitees are Jewish.

FALSE. If you can't go, just DON'T GO.