Its been 10 years

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I call troll. Who the fuck does this shit? Only someone in a Hallmark move, that's who.


I was totally thinking that maybe the OP had just watched some sappy movie and thought "yes, this is what we need to do."
Anonymous
I would call. And who knows maybe she's had a change of heart or taken whatever medication she needs to be a more normal person. I do think she has a form of mental illness. My mother has said horrible things to me as well - including I hope you get cancer so you know what it is like - so I feel for you. Frankly I'm almost emotionally dead towards her.
Anonymous
Thanksgiving is a pretty big holiday. Baby steps first try a weekend or another holiday.
Anonymous
OP, as someone who had a stranded relationship with my mother and whose mother has a mental condition, I can tell you two things:
Therapy is a must if you want to live a healthy happy life
You will never ever have a mother you are longing for. It hurts but it is what it is. Truly realizing and most importantly- dealing with it is something that will make you free.

Whatever you do or don't do, I wish you luck. I do feel for you. Hugs.
Anonymous
I think this feels very, very trollish


Anonymous
If you're not a troll, OP, then line up a very good therapy plan now for your post-reunion let down. It would be a good idea to go ahead and start treatment, now, too.

A mother who doesn't contact her child for 10 years after treating that child as you say she did is not going to welcome your visit. The dream reunion is not going to happen. Please don't put yourself, but, most of all, your child through this unnecessary drama. Please prioritize (1) your child, and (2) your emotional well-being via therapy.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, here are my thoughts:

First, You need to call your mother before you go. No matter how horrible she was to you, it's not really fair to show up out of the blue with no warning. And you want to give her a chance to act like a better person, right? If you call her, both of you will be better prepared for this meeting. (Also, what if she happens to be out of town that week?)

Second, I definitely think you should re-establish contact with your mother. Maybe some of the pps are right that you should work through this with a therapist first. And you still have time to work with a therapist anyway since this is not till Thanksgiving. Be prepared for it not to go the way you want it to go. Your mother may still be horrible. But if she is, I bet you come away feeling better because you're a grownup now and you'll learn that your mother doesn't control you anymore. You've made a life for yourself and your kid. And then maybe you'll be able to move on.

Because you clearly haven't moved on. Even though you left home, this relationship is stilling haunting you. Go home, and whatever happens, find some closure. Do it before your mom dies and it's too late for closure.

Good luck, OP! We're rooting for you!


I agree.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If you're not a troll, OP, then line up a very good therapy plan now for your post-reunion let down. It would be a good idea to go ahead and start treatment, now, too.

A mother who doesn't contact her child for 10 years after treating that child as you say she did is not going to welcome your visit. The dream reunion is not going to happen. Please don't put yourself, but, most of all, your child through this unnecessary drama. Please prioritize (1) your child, and (2) your emotional well-being via therapy.


It's not likely, but you don't know that. Her mom might be happy to see her or to know she has a grandson, you never know. OP needs the closure either way.
Anonymous
This smells like a made up thread.

But, going along with it, there's no one who would not prefer to be mentally prepared for a reunion like that. Even if someone was happy to be reunited with an estranged family member, they'd prefer time to prepare much more than being taken by surprise. Writing a letter is definitely the right move, even if it's just a short letter testing the waters and saying you'd like to come visit and bring your son.
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