In Laws - BRACE YOURSELF. I HAVE GOT TO VENT.
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Anonymous
| 12:58. Here. Definitely not a mil. My kids are still in jr high. However, I did live with family for a year and cannot understand how anyone who lives in someone else's home can take the entitled attitude of op. Bottom line, mil is doing her a favor--notwithstanding rent. It is a hell of an inconvenience to have 1 person living in your home much less an entire family and an ungrateful, entitled, bitchy one at that. |
Anonymous
| Having been on the other side of this - son and daughter in law supposed to stay for 2 months but stayed over a yea -r I think you need to be more realistic about how this affects your MIL. You might be trying to be unobtrusive but it's not possible to live and be unobtrusive. It doesn't matter if you are paying rent- she might have been prepared to have you for a short time and now feels stuck and that she can't throw you out, but you really have overstayed your welcome. |
Anonymous
Why did you have her doing your laundry??? She is not your maid. |
Anonymous
| I know OP is just venting but she does sound horrifically whiny and entitled. If she is paying rent and utilities, why not move into an apartment and get out of this aggravating situation? Could it be it would be more expensive and cramped for her and family? Well there you go. MIL is doing you a huge favor whether you think so or not OP. Deal with this situation more graciously until you can pull yourself out of it. |
Anonymous
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OP - there is a reason that you have to live with your MIL. It is your hardship which has forced you to live in her house.
There are some issues here which you can tackle with tact. It does seem that she is a hoarder - her house is messy, she loses things and borrows yours, she does not clean her house. The problem is that with all the clutter, it is very difficult to clean or find things. Unfortunately, hoarders do not want to get rid of things. What you can do is tell her you will help her to be organized. Then get some clear plastic boxes, label them and put away most of her stuff which is lying around and not being used. Get your DH to help. This will get you some space which is easier to clean and also allow her to find things easier. I don't think she will object as long as you do not try and get "rid" of her stuff permanently. If you can move - do so. If you cannot then try and make it easier on yourself. Remember, most families go through some tough times. |
Anonymous
| Sounds horrible, OP. I haven't been financially dependent on family, but I've "enjoyed" some similar family dynamics. To say the least, it's no picnic. Keep venting here if it helps. Hope everything works out so you can move as soon as possible. Good luck, and try to keep perspective on your MIL situation - in a little while, this will all seem like a bad dream. |
Anonymous
OP here. I'd like to think the whiny-ness is perceived because of the laundry list of issues I wrote. Sure though, I can see where it comes off as "bitchy" and entitled. But I should note: VERY rarely do I ever address what she has or has not done. As a matter of fact, I really only say anything when she takes and misplaces something that I use often. NEVER EVER in a million years would I say "Geez, you ate the meal, can you lift a finger and help clean up every now and then????" Nor would I ever say, "Could ya just put the iron away since we all use it?" I just go and get it. Which, by the way, I've pretty much dealt with via a suggestion here on this site... I just bought another. Now, she'll eventually take that one too, but I'll deal with that in the same way. As a matter of fact, I didn't say anything about the bottle brush incident. I simply waited until she walked out and discreetly threw it away. Yeah, I did it with a massive eyeroll, but so what. I WOULD LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE to say all kinds of things. I sure as hell think them, and I can't tell you how good it feels to tell YOU all about it. I swear, I have been so much less focused on this situation and so much more focused on moving since I wrote the original post. It has honestly been like therapy. Am I appreciative that my family and I have somewhere to stay? Absolutely. But just because we are here does not give her license take MY things. And honestly, I think SHE feels entitled. "They're in my house, so I can take whatever I want." Not cool, no matter who it is in your house. As for the cleaning: she'd barely lift a finger whether we were here or not, so its not really personal, just annoying and gross. And I said before, it must be difficult for her to have had to deal with us. HOWEVER: I neglected to mention previously that she is EXTREMELY co-dependent and in the 30+ years she has owned her home, has been alone in it for no more than 2 years. So... for those of you who think I'm a brat, whiny, entitled or what ever other crappy adjective comes to mind, I'm willing to bet you have NEVER lived with in-laws. Or, if you did, it sure as hell must have been a fabulous experience. So, good for you. For me, it sucks ass. Now, I've got to go so I can focus on moving, and NOT the main hallway that's been lined with same boxes of my MIL's random papers for the last 11 months. Oh... was that bitchy? |
Anonymous
| Yes, it was bitchy and your comment simply adds and exclamation point behind all of the "entitled" responses. Grow up, OP. |
Anonymous
| Yes, it was bitchy and your comment simply adds and exclamation point behind all of the "entitled" responses. Grow up, OP. |
Anonymous
| why are you staying there rather than an apartment? |
Anonymous
| I'm not really clear how you can complain about anything when you, as a grown adult with a husband and child(ren), have gotten yourselves into a financial fix where you're forced to move back in with his mother/parents. That should be anyone's last resort. If you can afford to pay rent and utilities, get yourself a one-bedroom apartment. If your MIL is an annoying roommate, get out of her house. I'm not suggesting that she's not inconsiderate, piggish, sloppy, and rude; I'm simply suggesting that you're on her turf because you your own idiotic money management, and so you better suck it up or get your own place. (I will take back "idiotic money management" if it turns out that you are there because one of you is very ill and you have serious medical bills/ issues that have used up all of your funds. Otherwise, this fix is on you, OP.) |
Anonymous
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Get your place. It's her house, she can do whatever she wants.
And aren't you too old to live with someone's parents? |
Anonymous
Yes, isn't that the point? For those of us who have managed our finances, we haven't gotten ourselves into the position of having to depend on someone else to take care of us. When you reach the dependence stage, things suck. But that's not someone else's fault. |
Anonymous
Maybe you should've got your own place before making so many babies and living with your in-laws. Talk about entitlement. |
Anonymous
| Freeloader stfu |