In Laws - BRACE YOURSELF. I HAVE GOT TO VENT.

[Anonymous]

I live with my mother in law (in HER house) and she is such a freaking idiot.

She just used my DS's bottle brush to clean a peanut butter jar. My DD has a fucking peanut allergy.

She irons every day and leaves the iron in her room... as if no one else needs to iron.

She takes my things to "use" and loses them (i.e. wall calendar, scissors, tape...)

She used my cleaning gloves to pull poison ivy. I'm allergic to poison ivy.

She does not cook. She does not clean. Oh, wait. She mopped yesterday for the first time in two years. But did not sweep the floor first. It looked like my 4 yr. old did it.

She is a hoarder, but tells other people what they should throw out.

She puts her dirty dishes in the sink after I've just finished cleaning the kitchen. Not in the dishwasher.... IN THE SINK. Soooooo lazy.

I'm sure I'm no picnic to live with either (obviously), but my goodness. She REALLY drives me CRAZY.

If I even began to speak with her about the shit she does, she would act like an asshole, so I don't even bother. Instead, I just come here and let it all go! Or, I let it all go on my husband, who, believe it or not, is in agreement with me.

BTW... I'm not really looking for a solution, because the solution is to get the hell out of here. I can't wait to move. This is proof that some people would not deal with one another if they were not related.

*SIGH* Ok. Rant over. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a tough situation, but you are in her house, with kids too? Big bummer, I hope you can change your situation very soon.
We lived in a very small apt for a while with kids, could've moved in with mom, but I knew our own little space was better than more room with strings attached.

[Anonymous]

you need to move, and have no right to complain (or be resentful) til you do.

[Anonymous]

So. Deep breath.

But. . .

If there is PB in the house which seems ok (you didnt grouch at that) and your son isn't allergic, is there an issue? Or do you not know yet?

The other stuff...meh. It's her house. She likely feels like her territory is encroached upon. If youcant move you kind if have to deal. But we hear you. Vent away.

[Anonymous]

If you're living there rent-free you don't have a foot to stand on regarding the cleaning. The peanut butter thing is unforgivable though. I would be furious.

[Anonymous]

buy a second iron...one less battle.

also, do you do the grocery shopping? I would only buy Sunbutter and no peanut butter.

[Anonymous]

I sure you, your dh, and your kids get her floors was messier than she would. Clean it yourself.

[Anonymous]

All the stuff you mentioned is frustrating OP, but context matters. She's not in your house, you're in hers, yes? Do you pay rent?

Not sure what to tell you here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sure you, your dh, and your kids get her floors was messier than she would. Clean it yourself.

OP here... I absolutely clean it myself twice a week. Oh... and let me add: after she mopped... left the filthy water in the bucket. I guess she forgot that is a serious safety hazard for my toddler.... her grandson. ARGH!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:buy a second iron...one less battle.

also, do you do the grocery shopping? I would only buy Sunbutter and no peanut butter.

We do the shopping, but somehow, she manages to get peanut butter here and there. I swear, it scares the hell out of me because its like she won't get it until someone is seriously hurt. Its scary.

And... I'm getting another iron tomorrow. But she'll probably take it when she can't find my other one that she's already claimed.

[Anonymous]

OP again... we do pay rent +all the utilities.

[Anonymous]

I get it, OP, because my family and I were forced by circumstances to move back in with my parents for a few months - the alternative being to live under a bridge.

PPs have no idea what it is like to grit your teeth and be grateful for houseroom when the "generous giver" acts as if this entitles him or her to making your life miserable, day in, day out. DH and I had vowed to be as quiet and clean and generally unobtrusive as possible. I cleaned and cooked and washed up. My mother never lifted a finger. Yet she was verbally abusive to DH and I every. single. day. I cried a lot. It was hard on our marriage. My three year old daughter processed all this and said: "I don't like Grandma. She is mean." My father refused to engage, but ended up enabling my mother.

Luckily, my wonderful BIL saved us and gave us houseroom until we found a job and got back on our feet.

My mother still does not understand how badly our relationship with her has been damaged. She thinks we should be eternally grateful. No. It is my BIL I feel deeply indebted to.

Just do your best to survive until you can get out, OP.

[Anonymous]

Sorry that really sucks!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you sooooooooo much for your support. I wish we could all have coffee so I could vent daily!!!! Thank you thank you thank you. I hate to think other people have been through it, but it is so nice to know that someone else understands.... and GOT OUT. I can't wait!!!!!

[Anonymous]

I hear you OP. I too have lived with my ILs and while they are wonderful people, FIL still drove me up the wall. We had just moved from another state and I found out I was pregnant a week after we moved in. That just added a whole extra element of stress. I was depressed, felt isolated, had no friends or family near by (except ILs), hated my husband for making me leave my home and a house that we still owned and could have stayed in. I too felt like a live in cook/house keeper, and I never felt like I could say anything because we were living in THEIR house. But, all that said, I would live with my ILs before my own parents so I guess it could have been worse

We are finally, FINALLY moving out!! Hopefully you will be able to move out soon too.

For the PPs who are being rude, you have no idea what it's like unless you've lived it so STFU.