Sick Kids--did my boss cross the line?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Good grief. It's annoying when people miss work, even for perfectly valid reasons. He expressed that annoyance, and didn't cross any lines.

So let me make sure I understand this - you have a job that gives you a certain number of sick days that you can use. This is a benefit of your employment. But if you take one of those sick days, it is ok for your boss to express annoyance about it?

Well, yeah. And, newsflash--unless the absences are covered under FMLA (must be a serious illness, folks!), you can absolutely be fired for using sick time, PTO, vacation, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I read your post differently than the other posters? I have had said something similar to one of my staff about getting an au pair, but not because I was annoyed. I was trying, in a subtle way to warn her that the project was starting to ask questions.

You need to be upfront with your staff. That passive-aggressive subtly warning stuff is not going to help you 1) if you have to fire her later becuase you need to be straightforward and document things with people and 2) its only going to piss her off. Say to her "the project is starting to ask questions" but before you do that, decide whether that is reasonable.

[Anonymous]

here's a good cross-the-line moment:

I had norovirus and was either lying on my bathroom floor or in my bed near bath for 2 days. At the end of day 2, my boss calls me to complain that i"m not in the office and that he is disappointed in me.

I calmly told him that I could not be far from my bathroom and that what I had was contagious (got it from tot). I then told him that I was disappointed the he called me while I was experiencing extreme vomiting and direah and that I would be back in the office as soon as I was able.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I have an excellent relationship with my boss but feel that he indicated his lack of support for the working parent in this situation.

Good grief. It's annoying when people miss work, even for perfectly valid reasons. He expressed that annoyance, and didn't cross any lines.

Why is it annoying? Don't you have a life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Good grief. It's annoying when people miss work, even for perfectly valid reasons. He expressed that annoyance, and didn't cross any lines.

So let me make sure I understand this - you have a job that gives you a certain number of sick days that you can use. This is a benefit of your employment. But if you take one of those sick days, it is ok for your boss to express annoyance about it?

Well, yeah. And, newsflash--unless the absences are covered under FMLA (must be a serious illness, folks!), you can absolutely be fired for using sick time, PTO, vacation, etc.

http://www.opm.gov/policy-data-oversight/pay-leave/leave-administration/fact-sheets/sick-leave-general-information/
I'm posting the rules for you dumb ass. You can use sick leave to take your kids to the doctor or when they are sick. Stop spreading disinformation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I read your post differently than the other posters? I have had said something similar to one of my staff about getting an au pair, but not because I was annoyed. I was trying, in a subtle way to warn her that the project was starting to ask questions.

You need to be upfront with your staff. That passive-aggressive subtly warning stuff is not going to help you 1) if you have to fire her later becuase you need to be straightforward and document things with people and 2) its only going to piss her off. Say to her "the project is starting to ask questions" but before you do that, decide whether that is reasonable.

+1. This is terrible management. Do you really think you would be happier if your boss was "subtly hinting" things to you -- things that you may or may not be picking up on or interpretting correctly but could cost you your job? Or do you think you'd rather your boss said, "you've been missing x time and I see it affecting y. What can we do about it?" Actually, I would like a boss who said, "I'm sorry your kids are sick. The project was starting to ask questions so I assured them that you are very reliable and also the best match to meet the project needs. But you should check in with them and make sure they know we are hitting the goals on time."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Good grief. It's annoying when people miss work, even for perfectly valid reasons. He expressed that annoyance, and didn't cross any lines.

So let me make sure I understand this - you have a job that gives you a certain number of sick days that you can use. This is a benefit of your employment. But if you take one of those sick days, it is ok for your boss to express annoyance about it?

Well, yeah. And, newsflash--unless the absences are covered under FMLA (must be a serious illness, folks!), you can absolutely be fired for using sick time, PTO, vacation, etc.

http://www.opm.gov/policy-data-oversight/pay-leave/leave-administration/fact-sheets/sick-leave-general-information/
I'm posting the rules for you dumb ass. You can use sick leave to take your kids to the doctor or when they are sick. Stop spreading disinformation.

The problem is that there are two federal regulations -- the FMLA and the Family Friendly Leave Act. The previous poster is correct that FMLA only covers serious illnesses. However, the Family Friendly Leave Act (FFLA) does allow leave for minor illness and doctor's visits. So you are BOTH right.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would simply say to your boss "Are there assignments I am not covering? Is there any work I have not gotten to?" The bottom line is not whether you took two days of leave, it's whether the work got done. Ask him if it did.

[Anonymous]

No. He did not cross the line. The line isn't even visible from where he is. People are inch too sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. He did not cross the line. The line isn't even visible from where he is. People are inch too sensitive.

*much*

[Anonymous]

...would your boss say this to a male employee? In my office, a woman was asked "what's your family care plan?" because she had to leave to get to day care before it closed (so leave by 5:15 even after getting there before 8am). This is never an issue in that office for a man who leaves early.
There is a double standard.

And what is the point of giving any days off if the boss is only going to co,plain about them being used? Ridiculous.

If my boss said this, I'd tell them th are welcomed to pay my child are expenses.

[Anonymous]

Since we're sharing crossing-the-line stories, DH's boss informed DH "you need to talk to your wife about sharing the sick kid time more equitably"... after I took the first day, he took a day, and I took the next day to care for a sick kid with severe asthma at home.

Apparently the boss thinks the man of the house staying home at all for a child is completely inequitable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since we're sharing crossing-the-line stories, DH's boss informed DH "you need to talk to your wife about sharing the sick kid time more equitably"... after I took the first day, he took a day, and I took the next day to care for a sick kid with severe asthma at home.

Apparently the boss thinks the man of the house staying home at all for a child is completely inequitable.

Or more likely, he has no idea you were home the first and the third day and just sees your DH periodically leaving to take care of the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since we're sharing crossing-the-line stories, DH's boss informed DH "you need to talk to your wife about sharing the sick kid time more equitably"... after I took the first day, he took a day, and I took the next day to care for a sick kid with severe asthma at home.

Apparently the boss thinks the man of the house staying home at all for a child is completely inequitable.

Or more likely, he has no idea you were home the first and the third day and just sees your DH periodically leaving to take care of the kids.

If her DH's boss doesn't know who is taking sick leave and when, he should keep his mouth shut. The only concern of managers should be whether quality work is getting done on time. If the sick days taken for a child somehow impact that, then say that's an issue. Don't hint around that it's a problem or suggest other child care plans. If you were promoted to be a manager, have the balls to say when something is legitimately an issue and research where the boundaries are.

[Anonymous]

Family friendly leave act only applies to federal employees. I didn't see where OP said she was a federal employee.