Any moms regret quitting their jobs to stay home?

[Anonymous]

The boredom and drudgery of childcare and housework almost drove me bonkers.

[Anonymous]

If my husband made even half what yours made I would quit my job and find a part-time job doing something I loved, regardless of the pay.

[Anonymous]

I don't regret it, but I did keep my hand in my field by taking a few freelance projects, publishing a few things in my field, and teaching at least one course each year. I like that I am keeping my skills current if I want to transition back to full time, have an intellectual outlet that keeps me engaged with other smart adults, and have an answer to the "what do you do" question at parties/functions. For me, our income differential was even bigger than yours (40K vs 900K-1m) and I couldn't see working full time and adding all that stress to our lives to make in a year what DH makes in two weeks. When you start approaching those numbers, working feels like a time consuming hobby more than an essential economic activity. If I was in a higher paying field, I might have felt differently. Could you find a way to stay engaged in your profession in a very flexible way? Much of what I do looks good on a CV but actually doesn't pay money (or pays a negligible amount.) I do it for the long term security of having my own way to support myself if needed and my own inherent interest in the work, but it is nice to be able to take only the work that I like and that is flexible because money isn't the driving factor.

[Anonymous]

Do it!!!!!

You can always goback to work!! So envious, and my dh and I make just over 100k on his salary and I've been home for two yrs....when I wa working we were closer to 200k.....we live tight, but I looooove being the kids. That's not easy either, but a trade off I don't mind making.

[Anonymous]

OP, you have so much financial flexibility. Now, set your priorities with your family--a discussion with your husband is in order. Sometimes even gargantuan earners (like your husband) are nervous to carry the full financial load of the family, so you may want to either (a) work part time or (b) find a new profession or (c) plan your financial lives w savings etc so you can stay home without so much "risk."

Personally, if one of us made $500K, I don't think the other would quit. The "just in case" approach (3Ds: death, divorce, disability)... but I would NEVER judge anyone for choosing to stay home themselves. In fact, I might even be envious. Met plenty of SAHMs who defied my stereotypes (yeah, I had them), then was a SAHM myself for about a year, and then back to work. There's a lot to be said for both lifestyles!

[Anonymous]

LOVED staying with my baby until he went to school. The time absolutely flew by.

Went back to work and didn't miss a beat.

[Anonymous]

Never in a million years do I regret leaving my career to SAH. It isn't always rainbows and kittens but I love spending all this time with them and knowing them like no one else does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The boredom and drudgery of childcare and housework almost drove me bonkers.

Your poor children. But hey, whatever digs you gotta make at SAHMs to make yourself feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The boredom and drudgery of childcare and housework almost drove me bonkers.

Your poor children. But hey, whatever digs you gotta make at SAHMs to make yourself feel better.

I'm not the PP that your making a swipe at, but this is a reality for many women. Not sure why you'd get nasty. Not everyone enjoys SAH. I was a SAHM for a year and I really missed my professional life and career. I missed the intellectual stimulation and social interaction that I got from my job. Yes, I volunteered and yes, I found ways to connect with my friends while being a SAHM, but it wasn't the same. I love my children dearly, but I am the happiest when I have a balance of career and family. The solution for me was to go back to work PT - I work 3.5 days a week.

The OP sounds like she can afford help around the house and some of the ammenties that will make her life as a SAHM much easier, but for those of us who had to cut back on housekeeping and virtually every other extra to stay at home there was also a lot of housework and cleaning that had to be done. That can equal boredom and drugery for many. But for some - like several of my relatives - staying at home is the equivalent of a calling. It's something they've always wanted to do and absolutely adore. Would just encourage OP to give it a try.

[Anonymous]

I have hated being a SAHM for years, but I could not leave my kids with a nanny, and I have a child with a chronic illness, who misses school frequently, so now I'm stuck at home unless I can find a job with flexible hours that I can do at home. Ha!

I would not quit entirely, OP, because you never know what's coming.

DH's job was going very well, and then suddenly, it wasn't. Out of the blue, he lost income, became miserable, and has been looking for a new job for more than a year, with lots of interviews, but not a single offer. The stress is killing both of us, but I have almost no possibility of making enough income even to pay the grocery bill.

I deeply regret not working at least part time for all the years I've stayed at home. I'm basically unemployable, even though I have an Ivy degree and a master's degree. But in this economy, finding a job is difficult even for the best qualified, younger candidates with current experience.

You have many choices, OP, but do look at the long view. If something happens to your DH's income, what would you do?

Good luck, OP, whatever path you choose.

Oh, and if you want to avoid boredom, don't become a SAHM!! It's boring as hell most of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I regret staying home--not in the beginning, but fifteen years later, definitely. Now that my kids are older and I will soon be facing an empty nest, I realize that I no longer have marketable job skills and no measurable purpose in life beyond my kids who will soon be gone. If you go down this path, make sure you keep doors open. Looking back, I would have worked part-time instead of leaving the workforce altogether. Good luck with your decision.

+1

[Anonymous]

I've been a SAHM for 8 years. Now that my youngest is in elementary school, I would like to return to work but I'm finding it harder than I thought it would be. I've gotten a few interviews, but they haven't turned into offers.

Since I may not be able to get back into the field that I'm educated and trained for, I'm in the process of taking classes in a different field that is related to the job I used to do.

If you're not fulfilled by your current job and money is not a factor in your decision, find something part-time that you would love to do. Completely leaving the workforce for an extended period in this economy is career suicide.

[Anonymous]

1 year in and yes, I regret it. I don't regret being able to be here with my baby, especially since he had some minor health issues that made him miserable for the first 8 months, but I've become totally isolated and my entire existence revolves around ds. I need to find some balance but I'm too anxious to leave him with someone else (besides DH) at this point. Only you can know what you need to be happy but if it were me, I would definitely try to transition to something part-time before leaving the workforce entirely.

[Anonymous]

Ask for a personal leave of absence, so you can try it out for a few months and then decide

[Crowealethea]

I will not regret if I quit my job. Rather I would try to find an legitimate career option where I can take care of my family and still work from home to earn money.