How to gracefully decline social invitations for financial reasons?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, are you suggesting the other couple should have split the bill even though you ordered four dishes and they ordered one??

I think they were suggesting that they paid their share, including tip, and instead of the other couple paying their part, they basically subsidized their own meal by not leaving a tip. Also happens all the time...

"Whats the total?"
"$75 something - we can split it"
"Sure... so thats $87 with tip...so call it $44 each.... I have a two twenties and a five - here's $45 - that cool?"
"Yea thats cool. I'll throw in a twenty and ten."
"Yea but that only gets us to $75, dont forget tip."
"Okay, I think I have a few ones here... Okay here's another $4."

And presto bingo fucker festival, twatwaffle collecting the cash just used your tip to reduce their bill and fuck over the waiter. You end up paying $45 and they end up paying $34.

[Anonymous]

Personally, if they're good friends, I just say, "hey, money's tight right now so we can't do X but let us know when you're free to do a park playdate" or whatever. We lost our renter a few months ago and haven't found a suitable new one (my friends know this), so things are definitely tighter for us than they were in the past. My friends are rolling with it. I can't go on the trip to Napa with them this spring, but I can meet for half-priced wine happy hours. for non-close friends, just say, "hey, we can't make it that day, but would love to see you. when are you free?" And don't feel bad about hosting at a small place. Make it comfy and cozy and they won't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, are you suggesting the other couple should have split the bill even though you ordered four dishes and they ordered one??

I think they were suggesting that they paid their share, including tip, and instead of the other couple paying their part, they basically subsidized their own meal by not leaving a tip. Also happens all the time...

"Whats the total?"
"$75 something - we can split it"
"Sure... so thats $87 with tip...so call it $44 each.... I have a two twenties and a five - here's $45 - that cool?"
"Yea thats cool. I'll throw in a twenty and ten."
"Yea but that only gets us to $75, dont forget tip."
"Okay, I think I have a few ones here... Okay here's another $4."

And presto bingo fucker festival, twatwaffle collecting the cash just used your tip to reduce their bill and fuck over the waiter. You end up paying $45 and they end up paying $34.

It's really not that hard to just ask for separate checks when you sit down. I personally can't stand going out with people who isist on a 25% tip for the "poor waiter" regardless of the level of service. So we spilt checks. My tip, my business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, are you suggesting the other couple should have split the bill even though you ordered four dishes and they ordered one??

I think they were suggesting that they paid their share, including tip, and instead of the other couple paying their part, they basically subsidized their own meal by not leaving a tip. Also happens all the time...

"Whats the total?"
"$75 something - we can split it"
"Sure... so thats $87 with tip...so call it $44 each.... I have a two twenties and a five - here's $45 - that cool?"
"Yea thats cool. I'll throw in a twenty and ten."
"Yea but that only gets us to $75, dont forget tip."
"Okay, I think I have a few ones here... Okay here's another $4."

And presto bingo fucker festival, twatwaffle collecting the cash just used your tip to reduce their bill and fuck over the waiter. You end up paying $45 and they end up paying $34.

It's really not that hard to just ask for separate checks when you sit down. I personally can't stand going out with people who isist on a 25% tip for the "poor waiter" regardless of the level of service. So we spilt checks. My tip, my business.

Totally agree - but people should be upfront about it, instead of using someone elses tip to reduce their own expense.

[Anonymous]

When families suggest we go out to dinner, I have no problem saying we are on a budget and suggest they come over to our house instead. It's never been a problem. With folks we don't know as well, I've suggested that it would be easier to hang at our house than the all the kids out to a restaurant.

[Anonymous]

Tell them you have family visiting, but ask if you can help them with the planning.

[Anonymous]

One of our closest friends is going through some financial difficulties. He's been upfront with us about not being able to go out to dinner unless it is a special occasion. No problem with us, we do dinners and hang outs at each other's houses. If they are really your friends, they won't think less of you because of it. Could be a good way of weeding out those that aren't worth your time.