If your spouse was a big law counsel/senior associate & did not make partner the first time up, then
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Anonymous
| Maybe 90% politics and 10% "what have you for for me lately?" And hopefully the partner you've been yielding your life to for the last decade will be in town and present for the partnership vote meeting. |
Anonymous
It took DH about 5 years as partner/slave before the money really started on the uptick. But his firm's capital requirement is huge. |
Anonymous
I was a big law partner and then decided to SAH. DH is currently a midlaw partner. We never bought into anything that tied us to a two lawyer income. It just gave us lots more options to consider in house, government, part time or SAH. |
Anonymous
| Go in house or to government, and actually have a life. You can make it on only 400K HHI, I know you can! |
Anonymous
I was a big law partner, until I came to the realization that the money, perceived prestige, etc. was not worth the hours, toll on my family and toll on my health. The fact of the matter is that the real beatings begin when you make partner, especially if you are an equity partner. It is no longer enough to be a good lawyer because you also need to generate business. At my firm people expected you to increase the size of the pie if you were going to take a slice. A partner's compensation is based on this year's performance. You can have five great years and find that you salary is decreased do to a slow sixth year. My point is that you need to help him see that there is more to life than the law firm. A task that is not easy. After dedicating seven plus years to the goal of making partner, it is hard to come to terms that it is not all that you expected. I probably made this realization my second year as a partner but it still took me three more years to screw up the courage to make a change. I can tell you this, I have yet to meet someone who left a large law firm and regretted it. The only think I miss is the money. My advice is to support your husband by assuring him that you would be fine with a more modest lifestyle, that what you are most interested in is that he is happy and that you are happy as a family. He probably feels like not making partner will ruin not only his life, but the lives of everyone in your family, and that is simply not true. Like the PP, we never lived a lifestyle that would require my firm salary, so I had the option of moving to a government position. I recommend that you take a second look at your spending to see what you can cull. Just knowing you have options makes the daily grind of law more bearable. |
Anonymous
Well, you know, so much hinges upon whether your children get accepted into a "Big 3".... |
Anonymous
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OP, I asked my DH who is big law and seen the situation from both sides. Partnership consideration is not given to those who have no chance. Those people are counseled out.
If you are going for Equity partnership, then you may have a couple of chances. If the Head of the office/partnership committee, said something like, "We really value your work, and you have a good client base, but this year we won the Smith settlement for 100 million, so we had to give 7 partnerships this year, but you are a sure thing for next year" (and you believe them), that is one thing. Or they could say, how about another kind of partnership? Would you accept that? Of counsel? Some lawyers say, see you later and take their clients to another firm with a guarantee from day one of partnership. On the other hand if you feel like that means "never", then you really need to rethink the future. Big Law is a very elite sport. At 35, you may feel that you have put in 10+ years and you can't stop now. But, whatever held you back from the partnership this time is likely to hold you back again, whether it is business creation, understanding of law, personality or whatever else. Most of the time when someone does not make it, if they clearly compared themselves against others who did, there is a gap. Is it worth it to spend 3-4 more years as a senior associate (the firms most valuable workers), or is it better to look elsewhere and make another start while you are still young enough? Some people are absolutely determined to be Big Law and are the exact fit for the job. Others would prefer to have more personal time and have a life outside of the job. It really depends on the person. The drop out rate is high, and for very good reasons. I wrote this thinking you were after the fact, not before. Best of luck, OP. |
Anonymous
| Just curious -- what are the top 3 DC based firms? |
Anonymous
|
Wilmer Cutler Pickering Hale and Dorr LLP,
Arnold & Porter LLP Covington & Burling Williams Connelly It depends on what specialty. |
Anonymous
My DH was told by one of these firms that he would never make partner when he came from the government. He is now a partner. In fact, he now has additional responsibilities. You just never know. |
Anonymous
Is this in order? |
Anonymous
| PP, life is too short to buy into the fallacy that your happiness in life depends on a biglaw partner salary. Seriously. Your whole family would be much happier living on 150k with a DH working a relaxing 9-6 in house or govt job. |
Anonymous
Speak for yourself. Many people in this situation feel they have to live so far out to get a nice house they spend hours a day commuting. $$=options. |
Anonymous
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Just as someone who is not in the legal profession at all and neither is DH, I am SO glad I am not in this world.
I went to a top undergrad and thought about law school, but luckily worked as a paralegal for 1 year for a "top firm" (one of those listed above) before I did so. Every lawyer I saw looked miserable, and I was so glad I did not go to law school. I feel it should be required to work in a law firm for 1 year before going to law school! Also, DH and I both make about the same, good money for non-lawyers, about $200k combined. We don't "spend hours a day commuting", and we actually like our jobs. Neither of us could SAH completely, but it doesn't mean our lives are over or we live in BFE just because we "only" make $150k. I swear some people on these boards have absolutely no perspective. |
Anonymous
There is no order. Ask 10 people and you'll get that many answers. And remember, Howrey was on this list 3 years ago. |