Good Schools for Working Moms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignoring the last sort of obnoxious post accusing the OP of selfishness, would any of the PPs who observe this phenomenon of schools where most of the moms don't work be willing to name the schools?? I'm in CC, MD and am a bit worried about this since we see lots of casually dressed moms waiting at the school bus on our commute every AM. If you aren't comfortable naming the school, can you at least sayif these are public or private schools you're talking about?

I think you need to ease up on the assumption that all casually dressed moms do not work. I am dressed casually 3 of 5 days/week because I work out of my home. Lots of people in this area telework or run their business from their home.

[Anonymous]

I've been on both sides during the past six years at my kids' school and I have never observed or felt any tension between the SAHPs and the working-out-of-the house parents (we have a fair number of stay at home dads in our community). As a SAHM I did loads of volunteering at the school, and was grateful I could. I knew that parents who worked during the day couldn't be there as much, but they were often the first ones to vounteer for backup, weekend events, etc. Now I work full-time, and I am grateful that the SAHMs do so much for the school. Really, our school has an incredible parent community and so much is accomplished because of volunteer efforts. I am sorry that your school community is not as accepting or as tolerant. I mean really, that is just ridiculous and counter-productive!

[Anonymous]

WM here, who loves the SAHMs who contribute so much to my daughter's school. THinking back to my childhood, I can vividly remember the first time I met the child of a SAHM. I was 13, and I could not believe her mom "didn't have a job"--- I was in total culture shock. I think it's a good thing for us to have a more integrated school environment these days.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is at Burgundy Farm and lots of moms work.
I second the comment about casual clothes-- i work, insanely, but have a flexible schedule so sometimes I am in sweats... not, alas, b/c I am running off to play tennis or something... more like b/c I haven't had time to shower and and running from school drop off back home to stare at my computer screen and make phone calls for the next six hours before changing and racing in for a meeting.

but that said... OP, on the one hand i have found here in Alexandria-- both at my other daughter's public school and at Burgundy-- that there is no stigma attached to being a working mother and that the SAHM's are usually very happy to help, if asked, when I need something-- someone to pick up my child or whatever. But on the other hand, school cultures vary. We lived briefly in Westchester Cty, NY and I swear every mom but me showed up not just in sweats but in designer sweats, and they really WERE heading off to the country club, and I felt like a complete outcast and weirdo. Not a lot of friendly vibes there. We struggled through a year at that private nursery school and boy was I glad to get out of there and return here. So I feel for you.

[Anonymous]

Many posters wanted us to name schools. Well, I'm a working mom of a WIS student and lots of the moms I know at WIS work outside the home. I haven't experienced any SAHM vs. WOHM tensions. We all reciprocate with one another for play dates, taking kids to parties, etc. There are lots of great stay at home moms, and lots of great working moms - everyone does what they can to help the school and the kids when and where they can. I guess we're lucky we chose WIS - we're happy, DC is happy - and bilingual as well!!

[Anonymous]

As the original poster, let me clarify a few things. First, I am making no judgement about whether moms should work or not. I know that often these decisions are based on practical necessities or personal preferences. I don't dislike the SAHM's at our school - most are very nice and supportive. Yet, we seem to have very different interests and lifestyles. Second, we are not yanking our kids out of the school. As I mentioned, it's a K-8 school, and we are thinking ahead to high schools. I would prefer to send my children to a high school (public or private) where we get along better with with the other parents, than to one where most or all of the other moms are always at school, always talking about school, and always talking about their kids.

Anyway, I've seen a couple names mentioned, and many not mentioned. Anyone have a comment about B-CC, Whitman, GPrep, GDS, or others?

[Anonymous]

Is it just me, or is it unusual to see parents around at a high school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it just me, or is it unusual to see parents around at a high school?

Yeah, I thought that was weird too. I thought by high school the PTA is almost irrelevent.
And I don't think many parents are waiting at the corner to pick their kids up from high school -- certainly not at the public schools in this area. Also, by high school, I would imagine that many of the SAHMs are back at work since the kids are self-sufficient at that age.
OP, I think if your kids go to one of the Bethesda public high schools, you will not have the issue you dealt with at your K-8 school, which I'm assuming is private.

[Anonymous]

Landon is full of non-working moms. Doesn't bother me (I work), but since you asked . . .

[Anonymous]

16:34 poster here. We are at Grace Episcopal Day School in Kensington. Plenty of working parents as well as stay-at-home parents. And plenty of support for both. After reading this thread I feel incredibly lucky that we found such an accepting community of parents.

[Anonymous]

OP, did you say you were interested in finding a school where the SAHMs would be more inclusive? A lot of posters have referred to the help and offers they get from SAHMs for playdates, etc. But it also seems like you're less interested in finding a community of nicer SAHMs, you're interested in majority WMs where most kids don't HAVE playdates after school, etc. Would you be interested in a school where the SAHMs were more inclusive?

[Anonymous]

OP here, I am really just interested in knowing which schools have a larger proportion of working moms. I'd say it's about 5% at our current school.
I realize our children are soon to be teenagers going to high school, and I consider that all the more reason to know and be on good terms with the other parents, not an excuse for knowing less.

[Anonymous]

You mentioned Georgetown Prep and a couple other private schools, so I'll throw in my two cents. Having gone to Catholic school k-12 in Montgomery County and presently having a child in Catholic elementary school in Montgomery County, I can report that while you will have a mix of working moms and SAHMs in Catholic schools, there will probably be more SAHMs (or moms working PT for fun as opposed to doing so to make ends meet) at the schools with the highest tuitions -- such as Prep. That's not to say that there aren't any FT working moms with careers at these schools -- there are plenty of moms who are doctors, lawyers, etc. But there are definitely a ton of SAHMs who fill their days with tennis, yoga, etc. at the more elite schools -- and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Echoing the comments made earlier in the thread, I think the issue has more to do with you than with your child -- particularly if you're looking ahead to high school. Parents aren't really physically involved with the school at the high school level other than dropping off and picking up. And my parents certainly didn't pal around with the parents of the kids I hung with at high school -- by then my parents were in their 40s and had already established their peer group. So I'm not sure why any of this matters -- unless you are intimidated by cliques -- which is completely understandable. You will find cliques at area Catholic schools -- groups of parents who are alums or who belong to the same country clubs or who have beach houses in Bethany, etc. You may or may not fit in with them -- but who really cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You mentioned Georgetown Prep and a couple other private schools, so I'll throw in my two cents. Having gone to Catholic school k-12 in Montgomery County and presently having a child in Catholic elementary school in Montgomery County, I can report that while you will have a mix of working moms and SAHMs in Catholic schools, there will probably be more SAHMs (or moms working PT for fun as opposed to doing so to make ends meet) at the schools with the highest tuitions -- such as Prep. That's not to say that there aren't any FT working moms with careers at these schools -- there are plenty of moms who are doctors, lawyers, etc. But there are definitely a ton of SAHMs who fill their days with tennis, yoga, etc. at the more elite schools -- and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Echoing the comments made earlier in the thread, I think the issue has more to do with you than with your child -- particularly if you're looking ahead to high school. Parents aren't really physically involved with the school at the high school level other than dropping off and picking up. And my parents certainly didn't pal around with the parents of the kids I hung with at high school -- by then my parents were in their 40s and had already established their peer group. So I'm not sure why any of this matters -- unless you are intimidated by cliques -- which is completely understandable. You will find cliques at area Catholic schools -- groups of parents who are alums or who belong to the same country clubs or who have beach houses in Bethany, etc. You may or may not fit in with them -- but who really cares?

It's interesting that the higher the tuition the more SAHMs there are. You would think it would be the reverse -- high tuition, lots of dual-income, high earning couples.
The Catholic schools don't sound very appealing based on your description of the moms.
OP, why don't you just go with public school? If you're in Bethesda, the high schools are awesome and the parents are probably more grounded (whether or not they work outside the home).

[Anonymous]

My child is in elementary school but my neighborhood BCC moms are among the most decent, friendly people I know. They've had careers and worked at different periods of their life.