Good Schools for Working Moms?

[Anonymous]

My child is in after care and won't be attendings any after school parties. I work, my husband works, case closed.

[Anonymous]

Seems like you're just resentful that not everyone else is arranging their schedules around you. What is the harm of asking another mom to take your kid to the party?

[Anonymous]

I would be happy to take any child to a party, be it helping a working mom, a pregnant mom, a mom with another sick kid, a mom who has a sick husband (a sit. I have now where the DH is getting treatments for cancer), a mom who has a dr appointment...do you get the point OP? LIFE gets in the way of many things and if you are going to BAIL on a school that your child LIKES and has FRIENDS and knows his TEACHERS b/c you feel sorry for yourself? Ugh, I am sorry, but my sympathy has run out. How selfish. REACH out to these horrible SAHM moms and I will bet you a million dollars, they would be HAPPY to help you. Do you REALLY think the next school is going to be some panacea? And are you going to bail when your child has tears in their eyes about something else? I know it is hard to feel on the outside...but for the love of Pete, get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Ignoring the last sort of obnoxious post accusing the OP of selfishness, would any of the PPs who observe this phenomenon of schools where most of the moms don't work be willing to name the schools?? I'm in CC, MD and am a bit worried about this since we see lots of casually dressed moms waiting at the school bus on our commute every AM. If you aren't comfortable naming the school, can you at least sayif these are public or private schools you're talking about?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I also wish OP and 20:36 would ID the schools. What are they? Norwood? Sheridan? They're all on our list. Have mercy on a fellow working mom who feels that she's about to walk into a lion's den...filled with SAHMs like 9:55, who doesn't want to help because it would be as if she was acting as another child's nanny. Ha! We're going to keep our nanny for the next few years, regardless, for drop-offs and pick-ups and afternoons anyway, but I do worry about the social snubbing...

[Anonymous]

11:36 here...I get looking at schools with your social life in mind, but would you pull a happy kid out of school early because of this, without making a real attempt at getting to know people?

[Anonymous]

We're still in preschool, so I'm looking for guidance, since this subject has come out, so we don't have to reach the point of thinking about switching. In fact, we've been in this situation with preschool. We changed preschools - DC is happy and thriving, we're less happy and feel like oddballs within the parent situation, but we've kept DC at the new preschool nonetheless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:36 here...I get looking at schools with your social life in mind, but would you pull a happy kid out of school early because of this, without making a real attempt at getting to know people?

I'd love to get to know people, it's just that they don't seem to want to get to know me.

[Anonymous]

11:36 here...I get that...I am a SAHM and I have trouble getting to know a lot of the other moms...I may as well not be there sometimes! But I have lot of other friends in other circles and I really do not care of I fit with these other women. It would be nice, but I am not sure switching schools provides guarantees. I figure, my child's happines is more important than my need to fit in, but I guess if I were at work all day, it might be a bit depressing to not feel accepted at her school...

[Anonymous]

National Presbyterian is a great school for working moms. At least 50 percent of the moms work, if not more. It's a smaller school so it has a very strong community that strives to be inclusive so none of the children feel left out. I've found the parents really take care of each other and each others kids. It's a diverse parent body on and it's not unusual to see fathers around. SAHMs have helped me out more times than I can count, as have WMs.

[Anonymous]

I am very surprised about that (NPS) because I had a friend whose child was there and who continually mentioned the seeming divide between working moms and SAHMs. The kids of SAHMs never came over her house (she had a nanny who could pick up, but they only arranged play dates for other kids of SAHMs). Do you find it to be the case at NPS that both parents intermingle?

Actually, OP, do you care about whether WMs and SAHMs get along? Or just where you have a little more strength in numbers?

[Anonymous]

My child has plenty of play dates at homes with a nanny. Maybe your friend's grade has a different ratio. I didn't enter the school thinking about relationships I would gain as I was looking for the best school for my child. Our first year I did make an effort to get to know the parents and to reciprocate for play dates (even if I was exhausted), but it was more about community-building than anything else. I know the wm/sahm divide can exist, but I choose not to buy into it. I unexpectedly made very good friends with sahms and wms. Sure there are things I can't always do with SAHM friends, but that's life.

[Anonymous]

I am a SAHM who often helps out working moms. In fact my two daughters' best friends are the children of single working moms. I often take them home for the afternoon and would happily take them to a birthday party (make sure the SAHM's child is invited, however!). My single-working-mom friends often help me out on the weekends, and ask my kids over to their houses quite a bit. We also share soccer practice pick-ups; I drop off at 4:30 and she picks up at 6:30. One of the moms does have a nanny and she watches both of our daughters during weekday playdates.

If you reach out for help, and then are willing to reciprocate, life is a lot easier, not to mention cheaper. Invite a couple of your child's friends over on the weekend and get to know the parents. Once you've established a friendly relationship, a give-and-take, it-takes-a-village kind of sharing of child care can develop.

By the way, we go to Burgundy, and I have not observed any working mom-SAHM tension.

[Anonymous]

OP -- can you please state your child's school so I can make sure not to send my kids there?
If it's private, just say so. We're going the public route. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

FWIW, I have several wm friends in public schools in Fairfax and MoCo that definitely feel the SAHM/WM divide. In some cases, the more suburban you get the bigger the divide.