So Where ARE all the are the "Normal" families in Private Schools

[Anonymous]

Not really so sad. OP is trying to figure out why she feels financially pinched in comparison to other families.

[Anonymous]

I suspected this all along - and now it's been confirmed!!! Private schools schools cost a lot of money and, thus, the people who send their kids there tend, more often than not, to have a lot of money. I just _knew_ it. Thanks everybody

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not really so sad. OP is trying to figure out why she feels financially pinched in comparison to other families.

Actually, that's not quite accurate. She is wondering why the families in her class do not fit her definition of normal - which means, just like her. She particularly took umbrage at the notion that people who made more claim to be feeling pressed.

This has come up time and again on this board. People say, gosh, I'm feeling a little pinched, and I make X. For argument's sake, let's say X is $500,000. Then a bunch of people who make less than $500K all hop on how ridiculous this is.

The truth is, if you have less disposable income than you used to have, or if you have a higher debt load than you are comfortable with in the current environment, you are going to feel pinched. That can apply whether you make $50K, $500K, $5M or more. That person who makes $500K may have a mortgage of, oh, let's say $10K a month. If his/her savings were largely in the stock market (which many younger people's are), s/he may have just lost 30% or more of what they thought they had saved up for retirement and even for emergencies. So unless s/he wants to disrupt the whole family and move to a cheaper house, s/he may well feel pinched in this economy. Most people do not live as cheaply as they can. They live as high on the hog as they can afford, even if it makes them feel a little pressed sometimes. Agree with PP in a way in that I don't get why this is a surprise to anybody.

It's completely futile to explain this because the "class wars" will continue on this board. But at least I tried once. That's the thing I love (not) about DCUM - we have so many wars - school wars, mommy wars, class wars, you name it. I wish Jeff would start a DCUM for rationale and polite discussion and debate, but the thoughtg of trying to monitor for civility would probably sned him to bed for a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not really so sad. OP is trying to figure out why she feels financially pinched in comparison to other families.

Actually, that's not quite accurate. She is wondering why the families in her class do not fit her definition of normal - which means, just like her. She particularly took umbrage at the notion that people who made more claim to be feeling pressed.

This has come up time and again on this board. People say, gosh, I'm feeling a little pinched, and I make X. For argument's sake, let's say X is $500,000. Then a bunch of people who make less than $500K all hop on how ridiculous this is.

The truth is, if you have less disposable income than you used to have, or if you have a higher debt load than you are comfortable with in the current environment, you are going to feel pinched. That can apply whether you make $50K, $500K, $5M or more. That person who makes $500K may have a mortgage of, oh, let's say $10K a month. If his/her savings were largely in the stock market (which many younger people's are), s/he may have just lost 30% or more of what they thought they had saved up for retirement and even for emergencies. So unless s/he wants to disrupt the whole family and move to a cheaper house, s/he may well feel pinched in this economy. Most people do not live as cheaply as they can. They live as high on the hog as they can afford, even if it makes them feel a little pressed sometimes. Agree with PP in a way in that I don't get why this is a surprise to anybody.

It's completely futile to explain this because the "class wars" will continue on this board. But at least I tried once. That's the thing I love (not) about DCUM - we have so many wars - school wars, mommy wars, class wars, you name it. I wish Jeff would start a DCUM for rationale and polite discussion and debate, but the thoughtg of trying to monitor for civility would probably sned him to bed for a month.

I am the OP and you have got me completely wrong. I certainly hope no one else thought I was taking umbrage with them for affording the fees with ease because I certainly am not. I have no idea why you assume I am pinched or that I was trying to somehow imply that I made some high salary thereby making people on lower salaries who are really scrapping by feel bad because I never said I that - I said I was normal – I did not say what I did, how much money I made or how much my house cost so why you take this as a class or income war I’ll never know.

It’s just that I hear so often on this board that there are parents that are just about making the fees and it struck me because my DC’s school does not seem to have people like that... In my boredom I decided to just see if my observation was correct and decided to take my DC’s class as a sample. It is nothing more insidious than that. – no umbrage to speak of I hope, no wars, just idle curiosity. Don’t make this into a war by insinuating that it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It’s just that I hear so often on this board that there are parents that are just about making the fees and it struck me because my DC’s school does not seem to have people like that... In my boredom I decided to just see if my observation was correct and decided to take my DC’s class as a sample.

You are completely missing the point. Those people MAY just be swinging tuition because they have obligations that far exceed what you view as normal to go with those incomes that you view as being in excess of normal. I find this whole debate about normal or not normal to be completely silly. No one has the same reality as anybody else, and virtually everybody has various economic pressures. You can't assume that, just because you perceive that these people make more money based on their job titles (which may or may not be true), that they are not struggling to make tuition. As I have said, their obligations may be far higher than you can imagine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It’s just that I hear so often on this board that there are parents that are just about making the fees and it struck me because my DC’s school does not seem to have people like that... In my boredom I decided to just see if my observation was correct and decided to take my DC’s class as a sample.

You are completely missing the point. Those people MAY just be swinging tuition because they have obligations that far exceed what you view as normal to go with those incomes that you view as being in excess of normal. I find this whole debate about normal or not normal to be completely silly. No one has the same reality as anybody else, and virtually everybody has various economic pressures. You can't assume that, just because you perceive that these people make more money based on their job titles (which may or may not be true), that they are not struggling to make tuition. As I have said, their obligations may be far higher than you can imagine.

If they are so silly why respond? This is not meant to be an argument.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous
If they are so silly why respond? This is not meant to be an argument.

Good point. I think I am done with trying to inject rationality here. In fact, I may be done with this board.

Have fun googling. Once you get done with the parents, you could move on to grandparents. Bad news for the other parents in my kids' class, though - googling me won't tell you how much I make.

[Anonymous]

I think the PP is missing the point. People do say quite often on this board not just that the tuition is hard to swing, but they that they are far from wealthy (in other words, solidly middle class, probably with HHI of $85-200K per year). I have noticed this too and wonder if we are seeing a few people posting the same thing in different threads, or if there really are that many solidly middle class families at private schools in DC.

Also in response to the nastiness of DCUM, the easiest way to pinpoint the nasty posters are to require everyone to log in and post under a user name.

[Anonymous]

Jeff tried that with the "Members Only" forum. Was a complete bust.

[Anonymous]

What I find interesting is that the school web sites say that 20 to 25% percent of kids in school receive financial aid, and that people from all economic backgrounds are encouraged to apply.
If this is true, then out of a class of 20, 4 or 5 are on financial aid?

And they say applying for aid does not affect admission.

I am very confused by this. It seems not applying for aid is the way to get accepted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[quote=Anonymous
If they are so silly why respond? This is not meant to be an argument.

Good point. I think I am done with trying to inject rationality here. In fact, I may be done with this board.

Have fun googling. Once you get done with the parents, you could move on to grandparents. Bad news for the other parents in my kids' class, though - googling me won't tell you how much I make.

No need to get worked up about this. This is not about you.

[Anonymous]

Jeff tried that with the "Members Only" forum. Was a complete bust.

He gave peope a choice, right? I bet it would be different if there was no choice. - people seem too addicted to this sight to give it up completely.

[Anonymous]

pp here - sorry for the shameful number of typos - I was on the phone while reponding.

[Anonymous]

Sheer speculation, but I think participation would drop markedly. For now, if you are interested in a login-only option, you could try the DCUM listserv, which is very helpful but typically does not tackle some of the more controversial topics, such as private school admissions.

[Anonymous]

Actually I found this interesting, from a researchy perspective. OP is right, everybody says they are "pinched", but how are we doing really?

(And I'm sorry, but "big obligations" is pretty silly. If you mean "huge medical expenses from grandma being in the nursing home" then OK, but "big obligations" from that second vacation home and that new Lexus are lifestyle choices. But whatever.)