12 yr old girls and sex

[Anonymous]

What a 10-12yo girl should know IMO:

1. The basic mechanics of sex.
2. What changes she should expect as puberty unfolds and that these changes are both physical and emotional. Sometimes the burst in hormones will clause the latter to be particularly irrational.
3. That mommy and daughter may argue more over the next few years but mommy loves her and has her best interests in mind. Mom went through puberty too and learned a few things.
4. That masturbation is normal and healthy and that it's okay to do it as often as she wants to behind closed doors.
5. That what she posts on the Internet/sends to a friend should be assumed to be public information. She shouldn't send anything she wouldn't want her mom to see. She should never use her full real name for most internet applications and never give out her home address, phone, etc.
6. That taking and sending nude photos of herself is illegal and could get her arrested.

Beyond that, I think you have to wait another year or two for her maturity to catch up before you can dive into subjects like...

1. People have sex for many good reasons, including reproduction, fun, and pleasure, and for bad reasons, including the desire to dominate or accomplish something. Sex can be fun with the right person in the right setting.
2. Sex is not love and love is not sex.
3. It's her body; she's in control. No means no.
4. Sex and intimacy carries with it a lot of emotional baggage.
5. That boys may be out to use her; she cannot trust their intentions.
6. A boy may not love and care for her if she lets him have sex with her.
7. The cost to raise a child is like $500,000. Does she have that kind of money?
8. You have a child to give it unconditional love, not the other way around.
9. Having a child is a complete game changer.
10. One in four women in the US has Herpes. Go into a thorough explanation of STDs and STIs.
11. Offer to put her on the pill when she thinks she's ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a 10-12yo girl should know IMO:

1. The basic mechanics of sex.
2. What changes she should expect as puberty unfolds and that these changes are both physical and emotional. Sometimes the burst in hormones will clause the latter to be particularly irrational.
3. That mommy and daughter may argue more over the next few years but mommy loves her and has her best interests in mind. Mom went through puberty too and learned a few things.
4. That masturbation is normal and healthy and that it's okay to do it as often as she wants to behind closed doors.
5. That what she posts on the Internet/sends to a friend should be assumed to be public information. She shouldn't send anything she wouldn't want her mom to see. She should never use her full real name for most internet applications and never give out her home address, phone, etc.
6. That taking and sending nude photos of herself is illegal and could get her arrested.

Beyond that, I think you have to wait another year or two for her maturity to catch up before you can dive into subjects like...

1. People have sex for many good reasons, including reproduction, fun, and pleasure, and for bad reasons, including the desire to dominate or accomplish something. Sex can be fun with the right person in the right setting.
2. Sex is not love and love is not sex.
3. It's her body; she's in control. No means no.
4. Sex and intimacy carries with it a lot of emotional baggage.
5. That boys may be out to use her; she cannot trust their intentions.
6. A boy may not love and care for her if she lets him have sex with her.
7. The cost to raise a child is like $500,000. Does she have that kind of money?
8. You have a child to give it unconditional love, not the other way around.
9. Having a child is a complete game changer.
10. One in four women in the US has Herpes. Go into a thorough explanation of STDs and STIs.
11. Offer to put her on the pill when she thinks she's ready.

Excellent advice. I found this really helpful.

[Anonymous]

Guys, this is what the HPV vaccine is for. Tell her to be safe and chill out.

[Anonymous]

I think in 6th-7th grade there is a sharp divide. Some girls do and some do not. The number of girls who are going beyond are not as large in number (at least around here) as the media hype. Some girls have too mcu self respect do be giving BJ to boys for their pleasure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a 10-12yo girl should know IMO:

1. The basic mechanics of sex.
2. What changes she should expect as puberty unfolds and that these changes are both physical and emotional. Sometimes the burst in hormones will clause the latter to be particularly irrational.
3. That mommy and daughter may argue more over the next few years but mommy loves her and has her best interests in mind. Mom went through puberty too and learned a few things.
4. That masturbation is normal and healthy and that it's okay to do it as often as she wants to behind closed doors.
5. That what she posts on the Internet/sends to a friend should be assumed to be public information. She shouldn't send anything she wouldn't want her mom to see. She should never use her full real name for most internet applications and never give out her home address, phone, etc.
6. That taking and sending nude photos of herself is illegal and could get her arrested.

Beyond that, I think you have to wait another year or two for her maturity to catch up before you can dive into subjects like...

1. People have sex for many good reasons, including reproduction, fun, and pleasure, and for bad reasons, including the desire to dominate or accomplish something. Sex can be fun with the right person in the right setting.
2. Sex is not love and love is not sex.
3. It's her body; she's in control. No means no.
4. Sex and intimacy carries with it a lot of emotional baggage.
5. That boys may be out to use her; she cannot trust their intentions.
6. A boy may not love and care for her if she lets him have sex with her.
7. The cost to raise a child is like $500,000. Does she have that kind of money?
8. You have a child to give it unconditional love, not the other way around.
9. Having a child is a complete game changer.
10. One in four women in the US has Herpes. Go into a thorough explanation of STDs and STIs.
11. Offer to put her on the pill when she thinks she's ready.

To add this also teach her her how to treat boys, not just how boys will treat her.
How to respect boys and men
And how often boys and girls think differently - girls may put their body on display and tease with it when what they want is his heart and guys may put his heart on display and tease with it when what they wants is her body - not on the same page and often ends in frustration and heartbreak

[Anonymous]

I think #4 in the first set may be the most difficult subject for moms to discuss but it must be done!

[Anonymous]

How do you start the masturbation talk? Do kids really learn about that from their parent rather than just figuring out that hey this feels good? I can't imagine walking my child through a how to masturbate routine

[Anonymous]

@ 21:44...

No, no, no!

You got it wrong. You don't do anything but assure them, especially girls, that there's nothing wrong with it. It's normal and healthy.